Just Call Me 'Sunshine'
by kimberlycullen10
Summary: Jacob's version of New Moon. Begins with chapter 5, Bella's first visit to La Push after Edward leaves her. CANON.
1. Just Call Me 'Sunshine'

_A/N: Well guys, this is my first attempt at writing a fic, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy being in Jake's head. I'm quite comfortable there; it's full of snark and just the right amount of sarcasm. I plan to continue writing in JPOV. :)_

_This is dedicated to __**AHelm**__, my wonderful beta and one of my favorite people in the world. Thanks for the encouragement, I could have never done this without you. ILYSFM, plain and simple. And to all my __**MoW girls**__, you are the best! Love, love, love. _

_**Things I own include (but are not limited to) a million pairs of flip-flops, a Macbook Pro, and a sarcastic attitude. You'll notice I didn't mention Jacob Black, Bella Swan, or any other character from the Twilight Series. All property of Stephenie Meyer, of course. Le sigh.**_

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I jogged up the path to my house as fast as I could without flat-out sprinting in an effort to beat the storm clouds that were now blanketing the skies of La Push. One may assume that living on the Olympic Peninsula your entire life would all but numb you to the near-constant downpours that painted the skies much more often than the sunshine.

One would be wrong.

It was not as if I hated the rain; I just generally preferred the elusive sun. I was an eternally optimistic person, and the sun tended to make me even happier in general. I thought back to the last brightly-sunlit day that I had spent on the beach, only days ago. It was unseasonably warm outside for January, and the sun seemed to be enjoying the fact that there was not a cloud in sight to hide behind. As we walked along the water, Quil had tried to convince Embry and I that it would be a great idea to go cliff-diving off one the highest ledges that lined First Beach. Quil made fun of us for being "little girls" when we opted for the ledge a bit further down the mountainside, but as soon as he got to the top, he had decided it was a bit too high as well.

"Do you need a tampon?" I had asked innocently, and his response came in the form of an open-handed smack to the back of my head. Embry was busy howling with laughter on the other side of me so he didn't see Quil's fist coming until it was too late – when it landed forcefully in the center of his stomach. I chuckled to myself at the memory. Quil always thought he was such a badass.

As if to prove a point, a few drops splashed my skin and brought me back to an increasingly rain-soaked reality. I glared up at the sky as if it had personally offended me. _Yeah, yeah, I'm going._

The rain continued its hard, steady rhythm while I hauled ass up the walkway to my house. As I ambled through the doorway, I briefly considered the fact that I had all but sprinted the entire way home and wasn't even out of breath. In the past few months, I had shot up several inches in height and my body had reshaped itself in a way that was probably better suited for an Olympic athlete than a sixteen-year-old boy. I absently chalked it up to good genes and a post-pubescent growth spurt as I walked through our tiny living room to find my father.

"Hi, Dad," I greeted him when I found him at the kitchen table reading the newspaper.

"Hey, Jake," Billy answered as he put the paper down and rolled his wheelchair towards me. "How was your afternoon?"

"Fine. I hung out on the beach with Embry until the storm rolled in." I recounted my uneventful day as I pulled my wet hair out of its rubber band in hopes that it would dry faster. "He and Quil might stop by later."

"They always do," he mumbled as he laughed softly to himself.

I turned my back on him and opened the refrigerator, poking around at what little I saw before me. "I was going to go out to the garage to work on the Rabbit, but I figured I'd see if you wanted me to pick up something for dinner first. There is _no_ food in this house, Dad."

I continued to glare at the nearly empty shelves, foolishly hoping that something was hiding and would leap out at me. But when I realized that my father hadn't responded yet, I shut the fridge and turned to face him.

Billy had recently taken to staring at me in a very peculiar way. It was a calm yet calculating look, as if he was waiting for me to do something out of the ordinary. He was staring at me that way now.

"Um, did you hear what I just said? Do you want me to get some dinner?" I waved my hand in front of his face.

"Oh, no thanks, Jake," he snapped out of his trance and shook his head as he rolled into the living room. He grabbed a thick book off the end table. "Don't worry about me."

"Sure, sure," I muttered under my breath as I followed him into the living room. _Crazy old man._

He faced his chair towards the television even though he already seemed to be immersed in whatever book he had on his lap. I plopped down on the couch to the left of his chair, deciding to dry off a bit before heading out to my makeshift garage.

For what seemed like the hundredth time in the past few weeks, I became frustrated as I wondered what was the deal was with my father and his newfound staring problem. I would often catch him looking at me out of the corner of his eye when we were watching television or eating dinner, and when we were around the reservation he and the other tribe elders seemed to tiptoe around my feelings as if they thought I would snap at any minute. (For the record, literally tiptoeing around a boy my size is not an easy thing to do.) I was a perpetually happy kid. I had no reason to be angry or sad; I practically skipped through my day-to-day life as if I'd just won a million dollars. Everything was great.

_What. The. Hell._

I was opening my mouth to verbalize my thoughts to my father when I heard the rumble of a familiar engine approaching my house.

_Did Charlie need some work done on the truck?_ I wondered as I turned to look out the window. _Of course it wouldn't be—_

My thoughts were cut short as I spotted the brown-haired girl climbing out of the old Chevy and into the rain. My heart did a happy dance inside my chest as I jumped up and ran towards the front door, leaving my father with a bewildered expression on his face. My mind spared him one fleeting thought as I hurtled my lanky body through the doorway: _Good to know your hearing is packing its bags and following closely behind your sanity, Dad._

I met her halfway to her truck.

"Bella!" As I excitedly greeted my long-lost friend, my smile stretched so wide that it actually hurt my face. I absent-mindedly tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear as I stopped in front of her.

"Hey, Jacob!" Bella Swan smiled, and it brightened her strangely chalky pallor. Something briefly flashed in her eyes – was it shock? – and she looked up at me, letting the rain stream down her face.

I took a moment to look at her, to _really_ look at her, and then it was my turn to be shocked. The deep, brown eyes that I loved were replaced with flat, shallow orbs that shined only with what appeared to be residual tears. Her face was sallow and pale and, now that I had taken notice of it, the rest of her seemed pretty fragile as well.

Where was the strong, bright girl I had come to know? What the hell had these last few months (in which we maintained virtually no contact) done to her? What had that stupid, red-haired boy—

"You grew again!" She exclaimed as I snapped back into reality.

"Six five," I declared with a laugh as I quickly shook off the thought of her ex-boyfriend. I really was quite thankful for my growth spurt. _A little more muscle wouldn't hurt though_, I added ruefully to myself.

"Is it ever going to stop? You're huge," Bella assessed with a disbelieving shake of her head.

"Still a beanpole, though." I made a face. _Maybe she would like it if I started lifting to balance things out._ "Come inside! You're getting all wet."

I pulled my hair back into its usual ponytail as I walked towards my house with Bella in tow.

"Hey, Dad," I called to my father. "Look who stopped by."

A smile stretched across Billy's face as he acknowledged the girl who stepped in the doorway just behind me. He wheeled himself forward, closing the book he had been reading and placing it in his lap.

"Well, what do you know! It's good to see you, Bella." He extended his hand and it enveloped hers in a tight handshake.

"What brings you out here?" he asked, suddenly concerned. "Everything okay with Charlie?"

"Yes, absolutely." She nodded quickly before she continued. "I just wanted to see Jacob – I haven't seen him in forever."

My heart skipped a beat (or perhaps several) and I felt my smile grow impossibly wider at her words. _She wanted to see me_, I mused happily.

"Can you stay for dinner?" my father asked. I thought back to my earlier offer to pick something up for dinner coupled with his subsequent refusal. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow, and his eyes sparkled back as he glanced in my direction.

Bella looked down at the floor. "No, I've got to feed Charlie, you know." _Invite Charlie… Invite Charlie…_

"I'll call him now. He's always invited." I silently thanked my father for his apparent clairvoyant tendencies.

"It's not like you'll never see me again," Bella replied as she looked back up at Billy and laughed. "I promise I'll be back again soon – so much you'll get sick of me."

My heart burst into a hummingbird-like tempo at the thought.

"Okay, maybe next time," Billy nodded and turned to roll his wheelchair back to the other side of the small living room.

I stood there for a moment, mentally appraising the girl to my right. I tried to be discreet about doing so, but discreet was never my thing. So as she turned to look at me expectantly, I blurted out, "So, Bella, what do you want to do?"

"Whatever," she fidgeted where she stood, as if she was eagerly holding something back. "What were you doing before I interrupted?"

I paused briefly, trying to think of other things we could do together. I was positive that she wouldn't want to spend the rest of the afternoon in my garage. "I was just heading out to work on my car, but we can do something else…"

"No, that's perfect!" She exclaimed as she straightened up and leaned back towards the door. "I'd love to see your car."

_Uh… what?_

"Okay. It's out back, in the garage." The look on my face must have been priceless, full of uncertainty and curiosity. I turned and walked out the front door as she waved to my father.

As we walked through the thick bushes of my backyard and approached the garage, I internally ran through my own speculations regarding the real reason Isabella Swan had arrived at my house after so many months of silence. Not that I was complaining, of course.

If I was being honest, the girl walking behind me looked like a shell of the person who once existed. The words "lost soul" came to mind immediately, and I fought the urge to turn around and flat-out ask her what her life had been like since I'd seen her last. I'd never been one to hide my thoughts or feelings; I was a generally open person. But I had heard from Billy that Charlie was constantly distraught at the truth of the situation – his only child, his precious Bella, had taken to moving through life as though she was merely pretending. Playing a part. He described her as though she appeared to be going through the motions but never really feeling anything. I didn't want to bring it up if that were all true, as I suspected it was.

Well, this much was obvious – Bella had spent too long drowning in her own half-life and she desperately needed to be rescued. Someone needed to throw a lifesaver into the bottomless ocean of grief in which she had been attempting to stay afloat. I decided right there and then, in that silent 30-second walk to the garage, that I was going to be her lifesaver.

I was a damn good swimmer.

I tore myself out of my own head as we walked into my garage. I stopped a few feet away from it in order to admire it properly. My baby. My Volkswagen Rabbit.

I was like a proud papa.

"What kind of Volkswagen is that?" As Bella spoke, I became aware that she was the only person on earth that could pull me out of an automobile-related reverie. And _that_ was saying something.

"It's an old Rabbit – 1986, a classic."

Bella walked around the side of the car and peered inside. "How's it going?"

"Almost finished," I replied happily. The thought practically made me giddy. I dropped my voice down to a whisper as I said, "My dad made good on his promise last spring."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I was mentally chastising myself – the shadow that darkened her face immediately was almost unbearable to witness. I'm not even sure that she noticed it was happening as she breathed a simple "ah," in response and turned away from me.

I was about to apologize for bringing up an obviously sensitive subject when she whipped back around to face me with an unmistakably determined look in her eyes. "Jacob, what do you know about motorcycles?"

"Some," I shrugged. "My friend Embry has a dirt bike. We work on it together sometimes. Why?"

"Well… I recently acquired a couple of bikes, and they're not in the greatest condition," she admitted. I was momentarily stunned – _what on earth was Bella doing with two motorcycles?_ – but I was once again interrupted by her question. "I wonder if you could get them running?"

"Cool," I grinned at her. Whatever the reason, I enjoyed a challenge. Especially one that involved Bella Swan in any way. "I'll give it a try."

Well, of course I would give it a try. Would you ever say no to the girl of your dreams?

No, you most certainly would not.

I was most certainly not about to.

She held up a finger at me cautiously. "The thing is, Charlie doesn't approve of motorcycles. Honestly, he'd probably bust a vein in his forehead if he knew about this." I could picture that vein; I'd seen Charlie Swan angry before. The Crazy Enraged Vein did not work alone, either – its accomplice was dubbed The Purple-Faced Wonder, and its wrath entirely took over Charlie's mug. Terrifying, I tell you.

Unnecessarily, Bella added, "…So you can't tell Billy," to the end of her explanation.

_Well, duh._

I snorted. "Sure, sure. I understand."

"I'll pay you."

Oh, so the girl really _had_ gone insane. "No," I refused. "I want to help. You can't pay me."

Her face turned contemplative. "Well… how about a trade, then? I only need one bike – and I'll need lessons, too." My already cheerful mood brightened considerably at the thought of spending time with Bella. "So how about this? I'll give you the other bike, and then you can teach me."

_Dear Lord, thank you for gifting me with the ability to fix anything with an engine. And, while I've got your attention, thank you for bringing Isabella Swan back into my life. You are one seriously cool dude. Love, Jacob Black._

"Swee-eet," was the only response I could blubber at her. _I'm such an idiot._

"Wait a sec – are you legal yet?" She asked. "When's your birthday?"

I stuck my bottom lip out and narrowed my eyes. "You missed it. I'm sixteen."

"Not that your age ever stopped you before. Sorry about your birthday."

"Don't worry about it. I missed yours. What are you, forty?"

"Close," she pouted. I grinned at her as a brilliant idea struck me.

"We'll have a joint party to make up for it."

"Sounds like a date." She nodded once. My eyes betrayed me as they widened with delight at the last word of her sentence.

_Jesus, calm down. You two are friends. Reign in the hormones, for God's sake._

"Maybe when the bikes are finished – our present to ourselves," she added.

_Where do I sign up?_

"Deal. When will you bring them around?" I asked eagerly.

She looked uncomfortable as she bit her lip and pulled at the sleeve of her shirt. "They're in my truck now," she admitted.

"Great!"

_All right, seriously, _a random, disjointed voice in my head scolded._ Get ahold of yourself, man._

"Will Billy see if we bring them around?"

"We'll be sneaky," I promised with a wink.

_Who _winks_? Creepy old men, that's who. Smooth move, Jake._

We remained under the cover of the trees as we stalked along the side of my house. When we got to the truck, I lifted the motorcycles out of the bed with ease, inwardly hoping that my strength impressed her. I rolled each of them over into the bushes where Bella was standing, and I appraised them both once I was certain that we were in the clear. One seemed to be in worse shape than the other, but with a little work I figured they should run just fine.

"These aren't half bad," I told her as we walked through the thick wall of trees. "This one here will actually be worth something when I'm done – it's an old Harley Sprint.

"That one's yours, then," she decided quickly.

"Are you sure?" I breathed.

"Absolutely."

I frowned slightly and stopped walking. "These are going to take some cash, though. We'll have to save up for parts first."

"_We_ nothing. If you're doing this for free, I'll pay for the parts."

"I don't know…"

"I've got some money saved. College fund, you know."

Bella was going to spend her college fund on two motorcycles that would only work in the first place if I fixed them? She was depending on me, _and_ she wanted lessons afterwards?

I simply nodded. If I opened my mouth to speak at that moment, I was afraid of what would come out. Something ridiculously embarrassing, that much I was sure of.

We strolled back into the garage in silence, which left me yet again to my own thoughts – thoughts that focused on Bella and what was to come. I could make her happy again. I _would_ make her happy again. Whether that job ended up in the form of a best friend or a boyfriend, I was not sure. But I didn't care. I knew what she needed – someone to be there for her. A companion, a support system. A perpetual ray of sunshine to break through her storm clouds.

_Attention, Rainy Days: I am The Sun. Now get the hell outta my beautiful sky; you've stuck around for _way_ too long._

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Reviews are love. Especially because this is my debut in the fanfic world. ;)

(PS - I'll admit that it killed me a little inside to hate on Edward like I did, but it had to be done.)


	2. Mister Goodwrench & Miss Moneybags

_**Everything you might recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just enjoy playing with the characters. Who wouldn't?**_

_A/N: First and foremost, I gotta send some love to AHelm, my beta and my lovely Twister. You are the best, and i heart you hard. This chapter is dedicated to her, as well as MPants and suspenders because y'all are amazing and I am ridiculously excited to come play with you guys! Let the countdown begin. :)_

_I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter. _Just Call Me 'Sunshine'_ was meant to be the first of many one-shots in JPOV, written and posted in no particular order, but your amazing reviews were enough to convince me to keep it going through _New Moon_. Thank you times a million._

_I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update; real life has been insane lately between getting ready for graduation and getting my thesis together and all that fun stuff. Hopefully I can update more regularly once it dies down a bit. Fingers crossed that it dies down soon, or this might swerve right outta canon and into a nervous breakdown for Jake so I can channel my anxiety._

_;)_

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Getting the bikes into my garage proved to be a relatively easy task. I rolled them into the center of the small space on the right side of the Rabbit. They didn't need to be hidden anywhere because Billy couldn't get to the garage in his wheelchair. Is it wrong that I found this to be a silver lining of sorts in regards to my father's disability? I mean… it's not like I was _looking_ for an upside to his condition; I happened to merely stumble upon it innocently. Though I guess the argument could be made that I rarely ever did _anything_ with complete innocence.

How freaking boring would _that_ be?

I opened the passenger door of the Rabbit so that Bella could sit comfortably as I took stock of our motorcycles. (Inwardly, I grinned like an idiot over the fact that Bella and I officially had something that we could call "ours.") I began dissecting the red bike, which I quickly identified as an old Honda, as soon as Bella took her seat. I made a mental list of necessary parts in my head as I took the Honda apart, and I planned to turn it into a real list to bring with us whenever we went shopping.

As I worked through the metal, conversation flowed easily between Bella and I. Admittedly, I was the one who did most of the talking, but she seemed content to jump in whenever she felt it was appropriate. As for me, I found myself babbling like a fool, trying to get as much useless information out as I could just so I could hear her ask a question or make a smart remark sooner rather than later.

We discussed mundane things such as work and school. I was in the middle of my sophomore year at Quileute Tribal School, and though I found it exactly as exciting as watching the grass grow, I was thankful that my two best friends were there to help keep things at least _somewhat_ amusing.

"Quil and Embry?" Bella asked abruptly. "Those are unusual names."

"Quil's is a hand-me-down, and I think Embry got named after a soap opera star," I snickered at the various memories that flooded my brain when I considered their respective names. Random flashes of punches being thrown and taunting retorts concerning offensive parodies of my own name were among the things I encountered during my brief stroll down memory lane. I shook my head. "I can't say anything, though. They fight dirty if you start on their names – they'll tag team you."

Bella quirked an eyebrow skeptically. "Good friends."

"No, they are," I assured her. "Just don't mess with their names."

As if on cue, I heard my own name being called from somewhere in the trees.

_Son of a bitch._

"Is that Billy?" Bella asked. I sighed.

"No," I answered softly. Just when I thought I could finally have some one-on-one time with the girl of my dreams, Dumb and Dumber have to make an appearance. I thought back to the conversation in the kitchen with my father, and I realized with poorly-concealed annoyance that I had known they were coming over; it was just that my unplanned visitor had given me temporary amnesia. I couldn't think of anyone but her as long as she was here in front of me… but that was about to change. I bowed my head in an effort to hide the half-embarrassed, half-angry heat that now set my cheeks ablaze.

"Speak of the devil," I muttered, "and the devil shall appear."

Bella looked towards the door with a confused expression as what could only be Quil's deep voice echoed through the yard again. Embry's voice was nowhere near as thunderous. "Jake? Are you out here?"

Really, what was the use in trying to hide? Still, I imagined myself scooping the tiny girl up and running for the hills so that we could avoid what was sure to be a downright awkward exchange of pleasantries.

Then again, I was pretty positive that "pleasantries" was the wrong word in this case. I had a feeling that there would be absolutely nothing _pleasant_ about this at all.

"Yeah!" I finally answered reluctantly.

All I wanted was some alone time with Bella, but apparently that was too much to ask when you lived on a rez as small as mine. I was silent as I listened to them approach the doorway of the shed. The words that threatened to come flying out of my mouth were nowhere near appropriate for a female's ears, so I kept my feelings to myself.

My friends rounded the corner and stopped dead in their tracks when they spotted Bella from her position halfway inside the Rabbit. Embry's head began whipping back and forth between Bella and myself as though he was watching a goddamn tennis match, and Quil just blatantly stared at Bella as a wicked grin spread across his stupid face.

My first instinct was to throw something at them, but seeing as I was holding the Honda's rear brake caliber in my hand, I decided against it. It was kind of necessary in order to make the bike stop, and I'm sure Bella would be using that whole "brake" feature quite often as she learned to ride it.

Thinking of the future lessons brightened me up a bit, and I managed a halfhearted, "Hey, guys," in acknowledgement.

"Hey, Jake," Quil responded, keeping his eyes on Bella. Out of the corner of my death glare, I noticed that Bella's lips had turned up into a small smile. Quil winked at her.

"Hi, there."

My hand squeezed tighter to the brake caliber in an effort to stop myself from lobbing it at his head.

"Quil, Embry – this is my friend, Bella," I choked out instead.

At the mention of her name, Embry and Quil's heads snapped up to look at each other, and then at me. There was a silent exchange of recognition.

"Charlie's kid, right?" Quil stepped closer and extended his hand. I saw him flex his tricep as he did so, and I held back a snort. At least he was being polite. For now.

"That's right," Bella confirmed as she took his hand and shook it.

"I'm Quil Ateara," he proclaimed, as if being Quil Ateara could be likened to saying he was the King of freaking England.

"Nice to meet you, Quil," she smiled. He continued to stare.

"Hey, Bella," Embry finally spoke up in a shy voice. "I'm Embry, Embry Call – you probably already figured that out, though." He took his hand out of the pocket of his jeans, half-waved at her, and shoved it back in.

_Note to self: remember to harass Embry later for continually acting like a pansy in front of the opposite sex._

"Nice to meet you, too."

"So what are you guys doing?" Quil asked. It would have been a decent attempt at an innocent question, except that he was still shamelessly ogling Bella.

"Bella and I are going to fix up these bikes," I calmly explained.

Since I ended the sentence with a magic word, both of my friends immediately pulled themselves out of their Bella-induced stupor and redirected their attention to the motorcycles in front of them. They hadn't even appeared to notice the bikes, both of which were plainly in their line of sight, before that very moment.

Quil and Embry closed the distance between themselves and the bikes and kneeled down so they could dive right into the pieces and parts that I had already removed. All of a sudden, we were strictly business. Rapid-fire suggestions and observations flew through the air at top speed as the three of us channeled our own inner-mechanics.

"This swing arm looks like hell. It's never going to give you a smooth ride around here; you know what the roads are like."

"I know, man, why do you think I already took it off?"

"Dude, the rearsets on the Honda are all jacked up. You'll need to get those replaced; they look beyond fixable."

"IS THIS A SPRINT?!"

I tried not to look at Quil like he was fucking stupid as I replied, "of course it's a Sprint, stupid. What the hell else would it be?"

"The black fairing on it is barely cracked. Sweet."

"It's not like there's much fairing affixed in the first place."

"The tank is kind of dented on the Honda … that will affect the overall MPG if you don't replace it. That _is_ a Honda, right?"

"What gave it away, Embry? The fact that it says 'Honda' on it?"

"Don't be an ass, dude, I didn't even _see_ the name on the front of it yet!"

"What do you think the gas mileage is like on these, given their age? I'll bet it's better than you'd think it would be."

"The bar ends don't look very comfortable on either bike; it's all about the way they are attached to the throttle. That will affect performance as well. You'll probably want to adjust the bar end on whichever bike is for Bella."

Embry's mention of her name snapped me out of my own thoughts and reminded me that Bella was still sitting near us in the Rabbit, observing quietly. I looked up at her.

"…And why are you still holding onto that caliper as if your life depended on it?" Quil asked as he quirked his eyebrow at me.

_Because I almost threw it at you earlier, asshole._

I ignored him and stood to face Bella.

"We're boring you, aren't we?"

"Naw," she replied, looking rather amused. I wasn't sure if she was just trying to make me feel better, but she looked sincere as she continued, "I just have to go cook dinner for Charlie."

"Oh… well, I'll finish taking these apart tonight and figure out what more we'll need to get started rebuilding them," I offered. "When do you want to work on them again?"

I had been hoping for something along the lines of, "I'll come back tonight with my stuff so I can just move in; I'm sure Charlie won't mind." But when she asked, "Could I come back tomorrow?" it was almost as good. More realistic, I suppose.

"That would be great!" I exclaimed, and my excitement almost distracted me from the look that Embry and Quil exchanged. _Almost_.

"If you make a list, we can go shop for parts," she suggested.

I frowned. "I'm still not sure that I should let you pay for everything."

"No way," she shook her head in certainty. "I'm bankrolling this party. You just have to supply the labor and expertise."

Embry rolled his eyes at Quil.

I was _thisclose_ to kicking them out.

"That doesn't seem right," I disagreed with her again.

"Jake, if I took this to a mechanic, how much would he charge me?"

"Okay, you're getting a deal," I gave in with a smile.

"Not to mention the riding lessons," Bella added.

I mentally grimaced expectantly because my teenage-boy-mind knew exactly what the other teenage boys in the room would think about "riding lessons."

As usual, I was right, and I heard Quil whisper, "Oh, I'll bet he teaches her to ride _something_, all right, but ten bucks says it's not the bike."

I reached over lightening-fast to smack him in the back of the head. "That's it, get out," I demanded under my breath.

"No, really, I have to go," Bella assured me, and I hoped to God that she didn't hear Quil's idiotic commentary. She smiled as she turned and walked out the door.

As soon as she was out of sight, I spun around to glower at my friends with a murderous look on my face and was double-assaulted with a very mockingly high-pitched, "Wooooo!"

I launched myself at them, grabbing Quil in a headlock after knocking Embry to the ground with a swift elbow to the stomach.

"Ouch!"

"Hey!"

"If either of you set so much as one toe on my land tomorrow…" I threatened, holding tight to Quil as I glared at Embry on the floor.

"Fine, fine!" Embry conceded with a heavy sigh as he got to his feet, brushing the dirt from his jeans.

"Let go of me, asshole!" Quil rasped. I would be lying if I said I didn't thoroughly enjoy the way my height granted me the advantage over his muscular build.

"Not until you promise to stay. Away." I paused between the words to emphasize my point.

"But she's so damn nice to look at and I just want to—"

"QUIL, YOU SON OF A BITCH. I will castrate you with that wrench!" I gestured towards the wrench on the floor next to the Honda. Embry stifled a laugh as Quil continued to struggle to overthrow my grip on his neck, clearly pissed that I claimed the upper hand. "Say you will stay off my land tomorrow."

"Alright, dude! I'll stay off your fucking land!"

I released him from the headlock and he backed up into the Rabbit, leaning against it for support as he rubbed the sides of his neck. "Jesus Christ, what the hell was that for?! Overreact much?"

"I wouldn't have had to if you would've had the common courtesy to pick your fucking jaw up off the floor while saying hello to Bella."

"Yeah, Quil, haven't you ever seen a member of the female race before?" Embry asked sardonically.

"You're one to talk, Embry," I countered as I remembered his introduction earlier and laughed. "All bashful and shit."

"Of course I've seen a female before, shit head," Quil ignored my dig at Embry as he elaborated. "It's just that it's not everyday that _any_ girl, let alone one as beautiful as Bella, comes strolling through La Push _and_ promises to come back after she's met one of us," Quil retorted with a smirk. I rolled my eyes.

"She's not just 'any girl,' dude, so lay off."

"Staked a claim, have we, young Jacob?"

"Embry, shut the fuck up."

"For the record, Jake," Quil began, "I could have won. I just knew it would be better for both of our sakes if I let you have that one."

Embry pursed his lips as if he were deep in thought. "Are you referring to Bella or to the headlock situation?"

"Both, actually."

I growled. Yes, growled.

"I think that's enough about your potential love life for now, Jake," Embry interrupted hastily after noticing the look on my face. "What's with the motorcycles?"

"Bella just randomly brought them over. I have no idea where she got them, and frankly I don't care. I actually think she will be spending a lot of time here from now on because of them," I explained matter-of-factly. _And hopefully just because she wants to spend time with me in general_, I added to myself.

"Yeah, but I mean the motorcycles themselves – what do you think you're going to be able to do with them? You know Sam and his little gang of followers would never allow you to ride them around _our land_, it would be far too dangerous," Embry snorted as he mocked the man who had become something of a tribal elder in the past few months.

"Shit, how could I forget to consider O Mighty One himself?" I joked.

"Sam seriously needs to step off. Same goes for Jared and Paul, too. They're like fucking hall-monitors gone bad," Quil shook his head.

"Leah told me they refer to themselves as 'the protectors,' and that they actually meet with the council," Embry added. "She's all fucked up about it because Sam's even being weird and distant to her, too."

"This is such bullshit," I scoffed. "_Tribe pride_ my ass. Sam can shove it; I'll ride my motorcycle wherever the hell I please." _Though I should consider the fact that Sam would tell Dad if he saw Bella and I. Maybe I will take us a little ways out of town for lessons for Bella's sake. Charlie's, too,_ I considered as his purple, enraged face flashed in my head.

The three of us continued to banter back and forth until I realized it was getting dark out. I felt like I hadn't eaten since 'Nam. After the guys left, I strolled back into the house and ordered a couple pizzas for Billy and me and we watched TV while we ate. I made casual conversation in between bites of pizza, and Billy joked that my eating technique had become something similar to inhaling. It was comfortable evening for the most part, except that as Billy rolled his chair towards his bedroom I noticed him hesitate and look back at me. I pretended not to notice as he stared for almost thirty seconds before entering his bedroom and shutting the door.

That shit was really starting to piss me off.

Before I went to bed, I made sure to write a list of all the parts we would need to fix the bikes. I had to admit that even though Quil and Embry were just plain annoying while Bella was around, they had made some good observations about the motorcycle parts. I took all of that into consideration as I itemized each piece we had discussed. I also listed the two places to get parts where I knew we would be at least partially successful: Checker Auto Parts down in Hoquiam and the Clallam City Dump near Port Angeles. I laid the list on top of my nightstand and slipped off my t-shirt and old jeans. I sat on the bed in my boxers, staring out the window.

The pale moonlight shone through my window as I thought of Bella and imagined what the future could possibly hold for us. Though my feelings for her were impossibly clear in my own head, I hoped that I wasn't too obvious about things just yet. I knew she was fragile, and I just wanted to be there for her in any way possible. My feelings came second to her feelings, and somehow I knew that no matter what happened between us, she would always come before me.

I thanked God one more time for bringing my brown-eyed girl back into my life and I got into bed. What's that old saying? "I was asleep before my head hit the pillow."

Yeah. True story.

---

I woke abruptly to the sound of the rain literally crashing against my windows. It was still quite dark out, though I wasn't sure if that was because of the fantastic weather we were experiencing or because it was still the middle of the night. Feeling groggy, I rubbed my eyes and glanced at the howling wolf alarm clock that my mother had given me for my eighth birthday. It claimed that it was nine o'clock already, but I couldn't believe I had slept that late, so I leaned closer and squinted at it again.

Shit. Nine o'clock.

I wasn't sure what time Bella would be here, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to be half-asleep and half-naked when she showed up.

Well… I guess I didn't hate the idea of that last part.

Just the thought of Bella's arrival caused me to leap out of bed like a giddy little girl. _You are a pathetic excuse for a man_, my inner-monologue mocked, and I knew it was true.

But nothing was going to get me down today. Especially not the ever-sarcastic voices in my head.

I closed the distance from my bed to my closet in one easy stride. I pulled out a new pair of boxers and a clean, long-sleeved black thermal. I grabbed my jeans off the floor and stepped into them as I picked up the shopping list from my nightstand. I folded it and stuck it in my back pocket, and ran to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair back. I was officially ready for the day, and now all I had to do was wait.

Fortunately I didn't have to wait long because Charlie called around nine-fifteen to inform me that Bella was on her way. He also asked Billy to come up to Forks with Harry so they could catch a basketball game or seven. I inwardly grinned, knowing that inviting Billy had to have been Bella's idea.

Just then, thunder clapped and resounded through La Push, effectively tearing me out of my sneaky-Bella-reverie. I ran to grab my jacket and find an umbrella in the hall closet so that I could be ready for her when she arrived. Just as I was walking back into the living room, I heard the familiar rumble of her Chevy and I hurried out the door, opening the umbrella as quickly as possible. I reached her car just as she shut the engine and opened the door, stepping out into the downpour and under my waiting umbrella.

She looked positively beautiful as she slowly allowed her smile to light up every feature of her face. When it finally reached her eyes, I was the happiest boy on the planet, hands down.

"Charlie called – said you were on your way," I grinned.

"Hi, Jacob."

"Good call on inviting Billy up," I praised her as I purposely raised my hand up for a too-high high-five. I laughed as she lifted herself onto her tip-toes and reached for my hand. Her skin felt perfect and warm and soft under my rough mechanic's hands, and right then and there I resolved to hold her hand as often as possible.

As friends.

_Sigh_.

Harry showed up as I was giving Bella a brief tour of my bedroom. (It could hardly be called a tour; if I stood in the middle and spread my arms out, I could touch every wall.) Bella and I walked them to the door, and Harry wheeled Billy out to the car with what appeared to be a smile and a wave in our direction, though it was hard to tell through all that damn rain.

"So where to, Mr. Goodwrench?" Bella asked as I shut the door behind Harry and Billy.

I pulled the paper out of my back pocket and tried to flatten the creases as I went over the list again. "We'll start at the dump first, see if we can get lucky." I had high hopes for the dump; it would be the cheapest way to get what we needed, even if it took some extra work. "This could get a little expensive. Those bikes are going to need a lot of help before they'll run again."

She looked at me plainly, as if she was completely prepared to spend an absurd amount of money on this little project of ours. I decided to break it down for her. "I'm talking about maybe more than a hundred dollars here."

She reached into her jacket pocket and fanned herself dramatically, rolling her eyes. "We're covered."

I rolled my eyes back at her. "Let's get a move on, then, Miss Moneybags."

I was in a ridiculously good mood as I held my umbrella over her head and opened the driver's side door for her. She smiled at me and her eyes shined, but this time it was with actual happiness, not because she had spent the better part of her day crying.

Instead, today she would be spending the better part of her day with me, and there would be absolutely no crying.

I reached for the stereo instinctively, and I found myself staring at a gaping hole in the dashboard instead of a tuning dial.

"Did the stereo break?"

"Yeah," she answered simply.

_Okay… but what the hell did it do to deserve _this_?_

"Who took it out?" I asked as I fumbled around with the wires that were sticking out of the black hole. "There's a lot of damage…"

"I did," she admitted sheepishly.

I mean, I could have guessed as much.

"Maybe you shouldn't touch the motorcycles too much," I laughed.

"No problem," she agreed with a small smile.

Our trip to the Clallam City Dump was very successful. We were able to find several parts for the Sprint and a few for the Honda. The best part about it was that we had a blast together, despite the fact that every step taken was essentially just a puddle-jump; the storm was relentless. But through the rain and the mud, I could tell that Bella was genuinely smiling. Like, a _real_ smile, not the kind that she thought had fooled Charlie these past few months. And I helped put that smile on her face. I also helped to keep it there.

That simple fact alone would have been enough to cause me to call this day a success, even if we hadn't found a single motorcycle part.

The ride down to Checker was a little over two hours long, thanks in part to the ancient truck she was driving. Of course I had no complaints – I would have happily driven cross-country in this old shitbox as long as Bella was next to me.

To pass the time, I did the only thing I could think of – I rambled on and on to her, telling her every pointless story that I could come up with concerning school and my friends. She kept up with the conversation comfortably, asking questions when she wanted and interrupting to joke with me. She seemed to find the story about Quil's dumbass hitting on a senior's girlfriend quite entertaining, though I couldn't blame her. It had been freaking hilarious.

"I'm doing all the talking. Why don't you take a turn?" I offered with a smile. "What's going on in Forks? It has to be more exciting than La Push."

She sighed. "Wrong. There's really nothing. Your friends are a lot more interesting than mine. I like your friends." She smiled. "Quil's funny."

_Oh Puh-leeease_.

"I think Quil likes you too," I said softly, with a grimace.

"He's a little young for me," she chuckled.

_Ouch. Low fucking blow._

"He's not that much younger than you." I frowned indignantly. "It's just a year and a few months."

"Sure, but, considering the difference in maturity between guys and girls, don't you have to count in dog years?" She teased. "What does that make me, twelve years older?"

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, but if you're going to get picky like that, you have to average in size, too." I laughed as I calculated it in my head. "You're so small, I'll have to knock ten years off your total."

She pursed her lips dramatically, pouting. "Five foot four is perfectly average. It's not my fault you're a freak."

We carried on like that, laughing and bickering about the best way to determine someone's age, for the rest of the ride. I knocked two more years off her total because she didn't know how to change a tire – I promised I'd teach her, though – but I grudgingly granted her one back for being in charge of the bookkeeping. I grumbled about that one being Charlie's fault and she laughed.

Checker was like a goldmine. Not only did we find the few remaining parts that the Sprint needed, but we crossed off every single item on the Honda's side of the list as well. I knew that I could come close to completely fixing the bikes with what we had collected today, and there was even a small chance that I could finish them completely. I simply told Bella that I could make good progress with that we had acquired, not that I could potentially finish – I wanted that to be a surprise.

The two of us arrived back in La Push as a twenty-three-year-old woman and a thirty-year-old man.

Round One, Jacob Black. Chalk one up for the Good Guys.

After spilling our day's treasures onto the ground near the bikes and my toolbox, I went to work sorting through the parts and placing them in groups based on importance and function. Fixing the swing arm took priority over adjusting the bar end, both the front and back rotors received their respective calipers, and so on.

As I worked, Bella and I kept up an easy conversation. Everything about our relationship was just that – easy. It was comfortable; like second nature. I began to wonder just how I had survived without her in my life for the past several months.

When I was with her, time flew. Suddenly, it was dark out and I heard Billy calling for us. He hadn't been home when we arrived earlier, so it was easy to bring everything to the garage. I knew we wouldn't have to hide anything since his wheelchair couldn't get to us, but evidently Bella forgot that fact because she leapt up and hovered awkwardly over the parts, afraid to touch anything.

I snorted. "Just leave it. I'll work on it later tonight."

She looked guilty. "Don't forget your schoolwork or anything." I rolled my eyes.

"Bella?"

_Shit!_

Charlie's voice traveled through what sounded like a short distance away from the shed. We stared at each other, wide-eyed, before I jumped into action and headed towards the light switch.

I had to admit, all this sneaking around was kind of fun.

"Shoot," she breathed. "Coming!"

I smiled at her panicked expression and said, "Let's go," as I turned off the lights and we were immersed in total darkness. She was flailing about, blindly trying to find her way to the door but knocking into me repeatedly instead. I grabbed her hand in mid-air and pulled her through the familiar path out of my garage and through the trees. Her hand felt like cool silk; it was comfort, it was home. I grinned even wider as I thought back to my earlier resolve. _Hold her hand as often as possible_.

Despite the fact that I knew the path so well, Bella's clumsiness overruled my intention to lead her safely through the trees. We stumbled over each other through the dark canopy of the branches, laughing hysterically as we struggled for balance. Part of me noticed that there was a slight hint of mania coloring the edges of her laughter, but it also sounded strangely like a necessary adjustment was being made. I wondered how long it had been since Bella had laughed. The thought made me sad, but only for a millisecond – Bella tripped over me suddenly and we began laughing again.

We emerged from the trees, hand-in-hand, and said, "Hey, Dad," at the exact same time. Of course, this just caused another fit of laughter to begin.

"Billy invited us for dinner," Charlie mumbled distractedly. I looked at him, intrigued by his tone, and I noticed that he was staring at my hand wrapped around his daughter's.

Distracted Yet Curious Charlie was much more pleasant than the Purple-Faced Wonder, I noted, and I smiled at him as my father began to elaborate on dinner plans.

"My super secret recipe for spaghetti. Handed down for generations."

"I don't think Ragu's actually been around that long," I snorted.

He ignored me as we followed him back through the doorway. Our small house was packed to the max – the Clearwater's were all here as well. Harry and his wife Sue stood in the living room, and their son Seth came galloping up to me as soon as I spotted him. He was fourteen and he was a great kid. He reminded me a lot of myself just a few years ago.

_I almost feel like I should warn the Clearwaters of what's to come_, I thought with a smirk. I greeted him cheerfully and he followed Bella and I into the living room. We passed Harry and Sue's only other child, Leah, on the way through the kitchen. She was leaning against a counter with our phone glued to her ear.

Leah was Sam's long-time girlfriend, but apparently he had been weird with her lately as well. I assumed that was who she was on the phone with, so I simply waved and kept walking. She flashed me a very unconvincing smile that I knew was hiding whatever she was actually feeling. I paused for a moment to read her eyes… was that _fear?_

All of this took place within no more than the three seconds it took Bella, Seth and myself to walk through the kitchen. Still, I made a mental note to ask her if everything was alright.

The night passed too quickly, as was the case whenever Bella was around. We ate spaghetti off plates in our laps in my backyard as we all tried unsuccessfully to talk over each other. It sounded like there were forty people in my yard instead of eight.

I stole glances at Bella whenever I thought I could get away with doing so without looking like a creep. Her chestnut eyes lacked their old sparkle, but she didn't look like she was forcing the smiles she responded to my jokes with. Seth kept us both entertained and, of course, I did the majority of the talking.

The inevitable rain broke up our elegant dinner party sooner than I had hoped it would, and when nobody was looking I stuck my middle finger up at the clouds with contempt.

Yeah, it was childish, but I thought I told those bastards to stay outta the sky.

I watched Bella and Charlie drive away, and I found that I was even happier than I had been the day before when I thought about seeing her again. Today meant something. I couldn't pinpoint exactly what that something was, but it was something important, I could tell you that much.

Baby steps in the right direction and an occasional hand to hold for support. That was all my brown-eyed girl needed. We would just have to move at her pace, and that was more than fine with me.

I said goodnight to Billy and walked to my room, shutting the door behind me and leaning against it. I rubbed my eyes, tired from the adventures Bella and I had embarked upon that day and the fun we had in the garage afterwards. Once I considered the garage, my thoughts strayed to Embry and Quil, who had miraculously kept their promise to stay away today. I absently noted that it was slightly odd for Embry not to call all day since I didn't see him, but I was still too happy from my day with Bella to be overly concerned.

I'd see him tomorrow at school, anyway.

_

* * *

Kinda long, I know. But a lot happens in the original chapter in _New Moon_. I obviously wanted to include all that, plus some filler info for what Jake does when Bella's not around. The scene with the boys in the garage was particularly fun for me to write, as you can imagine. ;)_

_Reviews are love._


	3. A Million Questions with Zero Answers

**As much as I'd love to take credit for creating Jacob Black, I just can't. He belongs to Stephenie, and so does Bella. And Quil. And Billy. And… well, you get it. They're not mine.**

_A/N: __You're in for a long one, guys. I could have stopped at many different points in this chapter, but I wanted to keep it true to the original book, even if that meant this would be quite lengthy. A lot happens, and a lot is coming soon, so I had to get it all in now. Jake made me do it, and he's not even sorry._

_A big thanks, as always, goes to AHelm, the fastest beta in the west. (No, seriously.) Love you times a million._

* * *

After such an amazing day – which began with shopping for parts with Bella and ended in a backyard dinner with some of my favorite people – I had gone to bed that night nearly ecstatic. Though my thoughts had briefly touched on the lack of contact with Embry, I fell asleep with visions of my brown-eyed girl dancing in my head.

Okay, not _dancing_, per se. She could barely walk a straight line, for God's sake. But I happily allowed her to consume my unconsciousness as I drifted off to sleep.

Therefore, you can imagine my surprise when a nightmare broke into my dreamscape, ravaging the restful night's sleep that is usually guaranteed to me by my perpetually happy wakeful state.

As things came into focus, I realized that I was surrounded on all sides by what appeared to be an eternal sea of moss and dense fog. I walked through the trees and over the up-turned logs, exploring this strangely foreign location. I continued on like this for what seemed like an eternity.

Finally, as I pivoted on my left leg in an effort to take in and hopefully recognize this unfamiliar territory, I noticed a tall man standing between two hemlocks in the distance. I squinted through the mist, but I was unable to discern the identity of the man, so I decided to walk toward him.

I cautiously approached him, and I quickly realized that it was none other than Sam Uley. As I opened my mouth to speak, three large, furry animals – one brown, one dark grey, and one medium grey with spots – lumbered out of the woods and came forward, settling on both sides of Sam. Physically, I stared in utter shock at the way that Sam appeared to be entirely at ease; mentally, Dream Jacob grappled at what to call these beasts.

Were they bears? Giant… dogs?

_No._

_Wolves_.

These oversized wolves stood, nearly as tall as Sam, on four legs. Their eyes were surprisingly focused on me, almost knowledgeable, as if they were vastly more intelligent than your average big-ass dog. Sam remained still, gazing at me serenely, as if he was just biding his time. The wolf with the brown coat cocked his head and glanced – yes, calmly _glanced_ – at the deep grey wolf, as if they were communicating.

This was all becoming too much for me, and I stumbled backward in an attempt to run for my goddamn life.

The spotted grey wolf stepped forward then. He closed the distance between us in two easy steps, and he was now standing directly in front of me, at eye level.

Those eyes. I _knew_ those eyes.

As I was wracking my brain for recognition, the forest tilted on its axis and the trees blurred into an unsettling mass of greenery as I simultaneously fell to the ground and struggled to comprehend what was happening. I regained a bit of composure as I glanced up quickly at the spotted grey wolf and found him staring down at me. This only lasted for a moment, though, because as soon as I made eye contact with this strange creature, his head whipped around to stare in Sam's direction. Everything still seemed to be shifting in and out of existence, and I was becoming quite dizzy.

_What the hell?_

It wasn't the forest that was blurring anymore; it was Sam Uley's shape that seemed to continually smudge on the green backdrop. I jumped up and ran to him, trying to grab his shoulders and find out what was happening. I was intercepted by the huge body of the spotted wolf as it knocked me backwards once again. The wolf let out a piercing howl that resounded in my ears, so painfully loud that I forgot about Sam as I scrambled to cover them. The howling seemed to overtake me completely, vibrating through my body and echoing through mind.

_Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop…_

I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs.

_What. The. Fuck!_

I sat up straight in my bed, panting and sweating. _A nightmare?_ I wondered what the hell could have brought that on. I hadn't had nightmares since my mother died, and that was almost eight years ago now.

I quickly became aware of the fact that the ringing in my ears had not come to an end. I searched the immediate area for the wretched sound, and my eyes fell upon my wolf alarm clock.

_Well, duh._

My alarm was screaming its incessant ringtone to relay the message that it was exactly seven o'clock in the morning, and I needed to get up for school. I slammed my hand onto the _off_ button, nearly knocking the damn thing off my nightstand. I shook off both the nightmare and the blankets on my bed as I stepped onto the floor and stretched in the limited amount of space that my tiny room provided. I dressed quickly in a light brown long-sleeved shirt and a dark pair of jeans, and I pulled my hair back into its usual ponytail.

My father returned from his weekly morning tribal council meeting in time to eat breakfast with me. By then, I could barely recall what had given me such a difficult night's sleep.

By the time Billy dropped me off at school, the only thing I remembered from my nightmare was the deep green forest setting. I let it go as I reminded him to pick me up at eleven-thirty instead of three o'clock.

It was Monday, January nineteenth, and that meant that the freshman had placement tests to take during the latter half of the day. This was good news for the rest of the school because we were only required to attend a half-day of classes today.

This was even better news for yours truly because I would have the entire afternoon to work on the motorcycles that were waiting in my garage. I was already confident that by the time Bella arrived today, I would have made some great progress.

I walked the halls of Quileute Tribal, scanning the crowd for Quil and Embry. I found Quil quickly, near our first period math classroom. Since it was a half-day, we didn't have to report to homeroom. I called out his name and he walked up to me, looking rather confused.

"Dude, you're not with Embry," he said, brows furrowed.

"I figured he would be with _you_ when I didn't see him near his locker."

"Well… he's not with me."

I rolled my eyes. "Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"Good one, Jake," he snorted. "Did you steal that from one of the first graders you passed on the way in?"

"Shut up, asshole. Where do you think Embry is?"

"I don't know. Maybe he's sick or something." He shrugged. _Embry never takes sick days, _I thought to myself_. I hope everything's all right._

The bell rang. Quil and I turned to walk into math, but I glanced over my shoulder one last time to see if Embry was just running late. No dice.

It was then that I spotted Sam Uley walking through the hallway, towards the office. He reached for the doorknob and yanked it open, stepping into the office and out of my view.

My stomach turned.

_What the fuck is Sam Uley, the twenty-year-old who should be in _college, _not in _my_ school, doing here? _I thought bitterly. _Maybe he's visiting Leah…_

I could not shake the sudden feeling that something was up. And I was pretty positive that Sam was not here to visit Leah.

"Jake, come on, man. Seriously, Embry's probably at home, faking some kind of illness to get a few days off; you know his mom's up in Neah Bay this week. We'll stop by later." Quil's words interrupted my thoughts. I shook my head.

"Go on in, dude. I'll be there in a sec. Just tell Miss Clatsop that I'll be a few minutes late." I turned and jogged down the short corridor before Quil had a chance to ask what I was doing. I glanced in every direction to make sure I was alone as I stopped outside the office doorway. I pressed my ear to the solid wood of the door in order to hear the conversation that was occurring on the other side.

The high, clear voice of Mrs. Hatch, the office secretary, was the first thing I heard. "So he will not be attending classes today, Mr. Uley?" she asked.

"No, ma'am. Embry's feeling a bit under the weather."

_Embry?! _Sam_ is here to explain the reason for _my_ best friend's absence from school?_

"I see. And why didn't his mother call to inform us of this absence, Mr. Uley?" Mrs. Hatch asked. "Why did she send you instead?"

"Miss Call is visiting relatives up at the Makah reservation this week, ma'am, and the tribal elders asked me to look after Embry while she was away. I felt that, under these circumstances, I should come in and explain this to you, rather than discussing the matter over the phone. Billy Black asked me to personally come to school and speak with you, ma'am."

I was fucking floored.

_My father?_ I thought incredulously. _My father asked Sam to come to the school and make excuses for Embry?_

"Very well then," Mrs. Hatch conceded. "Since this is a half-day of school for sophomores like Mr. Call, he most likely will not miss much information. However, he can come pick up whatever work he _does_ miss here in the office." I heard her shuffle some papers on her desk and then I heard footsteps approach the door. I leapt out of the way and threw myself into the empty classroom to the left of the office doorway.

I felt nauseous.

"Thank you for understanding. You have a good day, now." Sam ended the conversation as he walked out and shut the door. I peered out through the glass on the side of the door, and I watched him stroll down the corridor and exit through the double doors that led to the front of Quileute Tribal.

---

The rest of my day progressed without incident, though I considered my morning to be eventful enough in and of itself. I returned to math and charmed my way out of a detention for being tardy; Miss Clatsop was a relatively new, young teacher, and apparently my growth spurt over winter vacation had more perks than I'd originally realized. In second period, I was assigned a stupid eight-page book report in English that was due the following week, so that put a slight damper on things. And I didn't get to speak to Quil about what I heard through the office door, but I promised to tell him what I was up to as soon as possible. I planned to leave out the part about me going all Nancy fucking Drew and leaning against the door, but I'd tell him exactly what I heard. Quil wasn't big on details anyway.

I decided I could get used to this half-day stuff when the final bell rang at eleven-thirty and I found Billy waiting outside to take me home. I hadn't seen Leah that day, either; I had wanted to ask her what was wrong last night at my house. Her worried expression flashed in my head, and though it probably wasn't my business, I wanted to make sure she was okay.

I also wanted to interrogate Billy about what I heard Sam talking about in the office. Throughout the rest of my school day, though, I had some time to think things through and make a plan. I would find out what I could about Embry straight from Embry himself. I would give him one more day, and if he was still MIA, I would go to his house and find out what the hell was up. I knew that Quil would back me up. And I decided that until I knew what Embry's situation was, I would hold off on asking Billy what the deal was with Sam.

We arrived home and I headed straight for my garage, spitting some excuse at Billy about making progress on the Rabbit.

Bella would be here this afternoon, and I was determined to get a considerable amount of work done on her motorcycle before she arrived. Just the thought of her presence made my heart beat twice as fast, and I practically dove into the scrap pieces of twisted metal that were lying near the red bike.

The hours passed quickly, and my thoughts were consumed with mine and Bella's future. I knew that I would have her around as long as the bikes kept her interest… but I couldn't help but wonder if _I_ kept her interest as well. I didn't even mind if friendship was as far as this relationship got.

Well, I minded a little.

But the bottom line was simple: I knew now that she was back in my life, it would cause me physical pain if she were removed again. My heart actually ached at the mere thought of her absence.

_Hmm. That's new._

What I felt for Bella was something I had never experienced before. I couldn't put my finger on the specifics quite yet, but I knew it was the most significant feeling in my world.

I let these thoughts occupy my brain as I worked on her bike. My hands seemed to work of their own accord; before I knew it, the red wall clock pointed at three and the red motorcycle was standing up. It still looked a bit shabby, but now it actually resembled a motorcycle instead of a pile of scrap metal. She would be excited, and that was all that mattered to me.

I stood up and ambled over to the stack of soda cans I kept in the corner of the garage, and set a couple next to my toolbox for later. I figured Bella would get here within the hour, so I left the garage and headed into the house. I was covered in grease and sweat, and I didn't exactly smell like roses. A shower was definitely in order.

Once I was clean and had changed into a new pair of jeans and an old hooded sweatshirt, I sat on the couch next to my father to wait impatiently. I tapped my toes and glanced around the familiar room, looking for something to distract myself. The television was on, but it couldn't hold my attention. I caught Billy smirking at me from the other side of the couch as I heard the usual rumble of Bella's Chevy pulling up to the house.

I ran up to her car and opened the door for her. To my surprise, when she looked at me, she was smiling with what could only be relief.

Now, I've been called a lot of things in my sixteen years, but "relieving" has never been one of them.

I contemplated this as I greeted her with a smile and a simple, "Hey, Bella."

"Hey, Jacob," she replied as she stepped out of the truck. My heart doubled its rate as I took in her appearance.

Her long, brown hair was flowing down her back and over the pale beige shirt and dark brown jacket she wore. She sported her usual boots and blue jeans on her lower half. The relief was plain on her face, but there was an underlying tension that caused her posture to be slightly rigid, and I felt compelled to ask her what was wrong. Instead, I glanced into her beautiful, chocolate-colored eyes and I smiled eagerly as I remembered her surprise.

"Let's get to work."

She laughed lightly as I led the way around the house. "You seriously aren't sick of me yet?"

I suppressed a laugh and resisted the urge to ask her if she was fucking crazy.

"Nope. Not yet."

She sighed. "Please let me know when I start getting on your nerves. I don't want to be a pain."

"Okay… I wouldn't hold your breath though." This time I couldn't contain my laughter.

We turned into the doorway of my garage, and she stopped dead in her tracks. She openly gaped at the Honda.

"Jake, you're amazing."

I shrugged nonchalantly, hoping that she couldn't guess that I was doing a happy dance inside my head on account of her reaction. "I get obsessive when I have a project. If I had any brains I'd drag it out a little bit."

_Damnit. I absolutely did _not_ mean for that last part to come out._

She looked confused. "Why?"

I took a minute to gather my thoughts. I looked at the ground as I considered my feelings from earlier. I had been wondering if I actually held her interest, or if it was just my knack for fixing all things mechanical that kept her coming back to La Push. I mean, I couldn't just flat out ask her if she wanted to spend time with me. That might be rude or inappropriate. A smaller part of my brain wondered when the hell I began caring whether or not the things that came out of my mouth were appropriate. The rest of my brain screamed back, "when Bella became involved, you moron!"

I noticed that she was staring at me because I hadn't spoken for quite some time. I cleared my throat and just came out with it.

"Bella, if I told you that I couldn't fix these bikes, what would you say?"

Silence.

I glanced up at her with pleading eyes. _Just say it, already. Say you don't want me, you just want the bikes. Say it. I can handle it._

But could I?

"I would say…" she began, tearing me from my reverie, "that's too bad, but I'll bet we could figure out something else to do. If we got really desperate, we could even do homework."

I smiled and expended a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I sat down next to the Honda and poked at its newly-attached kickstand with the wrench I had left on the ground. "So you think you'll still come over when I'm done, then?" I asked hopefully.

"Is that what you meant?" She rolled her eyes dramatically and shook her head. "I guess I am taking advantage of your very underpriced mechanical skills. But as long as you let me come over, I'll be here."

_Relief_. Overwhelming, all-consuming relief washed over me.

"Hoping to see Quil again?" I asked lightheartedly.

"You caught me," she grinned.

I couldn't get over this new high I was riding, so I didn't even try to stop myself from asking her again, "You really like spending time with me?"

"Very, very much. And I'll prove it. I have to work tomorrow, but Wednesday we'll do something nonmechanical."

My heart stuttered and stopped, stuttered and stopped.

"Like what?" I inquired happily.

"I have no idea," she admitted. "We can go to my place so you won't be tempted to be obsessive. You could bring your schoolwork – you have to be getting behind, because I know I am."

I grimaced, thinking of my book report. "Homework might be a good idea."

"Yes," she nodded. "We'll have to start being responsible occasionally, or Billy and Charlie aren't going to be so easygoing about this." She gestured toward the two of us, indicating that the "this" she was referring to was her and me. Together. A single entity.

My smile stretched so wide that she probably caught sight of my molars.

"Homework once a week?" I suggested.

"Maybe we'd better go with twice."

I sighed deeply. I reached over my toolbox and grabbed the soda cans I had set there earlier. After I cracked one open, I handed it to her and opened my own. I held it up ceremoniously.

"Here's to responsibility. Twice a week."

"And recklessness everyday in between," she added as she clinked her can to mine.

---

The evening flew by, and she left sooner than I hoped she would. In all fairness, though, I never wanted to see her leave in the first place. I guess my disappointment wasn't really her fault.

I went to bed that night thinking about Bella and how much she meant to me. In reality, it had just been a few days, but it felt like she had never been absent from my life. Like her stupid albino ex-boyfriend hadn't left her all broken and jaded. Like he had never existed in the first place.

If only that were true.

I walked into school the next day expecting Embry to be leaning against his locker with some stupid excuse as to why he had been gone the day before. Maybe sending Sam to do his bidding had been his idea of a sick joke.

Quil was there instead again, just as perplexed as I was, wondering what the hell was going on.

As we walked to homeroom, I quickly explained what I had heard from Sam and Mrs. Hatch in the office the previous day. He was just as confused, and even more angry, than I was.

"What the hell does that motherfucker think he's doing, coming here to make excuses for Embry?" Quil fumed. "I swear to fucking God, Jake, if Sam thinks he can—"

Quil abruptly stopped his rant and stared wide-eyed down the hallway. I followed his gaze, wondering what on earth could have pulled Quil out of one of his famous tirades.

The answer to my question came in the form of Sam Uley.

Sam had just come out of the office doorway and now was walking towards us, arms folded, head held high. He was staring directly at us.

No. Directly at me.

He approached without a word, but never tore his eyes from my face. The look he gave me was one of anticipation. Like he was waiting for something inevitable to happen.

It was so fucking _creepy_.

He passed us silently and walked towards the front doors, just as he had yesterday. He exited without a backwards glance, just as he had yesterday.

And just like yesterday, I was left with a sick feeling in my stomach.

Quil broke into a rather loud string of profanities laced with phrases like "how could he" and "get to the bottom of this." I just stared into space as we continued on to homeroom, at a complete loss for words. This much I knew: I had to talk to Billy, and I had to do it soon.

After the ridiculously boring day at school (aside from the morning, yet again), I went home with Quil to discuss our plan of action. I called my father to let him know where I would be and that I wouldn't be home for dinner. Quil and I had a lot to discuss.

We called Embry's house every half hour for the remainder of the day, and we never got an answer. His mother was still up in Neah Bay at the Makah rez, but we couldn't understand why Embry wasn't picking up. Or fucking Sam, for that matter.

Quil and I resolved to call Embry again tomorrow if he wasn't at school, and if we still didn't hear anything by then we would go to his house on Thursday night. I hated to wait that long, but I wanted to talk to Billy first. I knew he would be asleep by the time I got home that night.

Wednesday morning at breakfast, I steeled myself for the conversation I'd wanted to have with my father. I had just told him that I would be heading to Bella's after school and I probably wouldn't be home until late. I had to get this out of my system. I needed answers.

"Dad…"

"Yeah, Jake?"

"I want to know what's going on with Sam Uley and his… friends. He keeps showing up at school, and I heard him tell the office secretary that you told him to come in. Embry's gone AWOL and Sam knows where he is and Quil and I are worried and Sam keeps staring at me expectantly and goddamnit – I need to know what's going on."

The words rushed out of my mouth, the pent-up frustration causing them to become jumbled in their delivery. But I knew my father heard every word, because he just stared at me silently for quite some time. His expression was… analytical.

And it was frustrating as hell.

"Dad. Give me some answers."

He sighed.

"It's nothing you need to worry about now, Jacob. In a few years, if you don't… well, I'll explain later."

What the fuck was I supposed to do with _that_?

I opened my mouth to speak and was interrupted by a car horn beeping outside. Quil had arrived to take me to school; my father had another council meeting this morning. I was half-tempted to skip school and crash it just to get some fucking answers, but I knew that wouldn't end well. With my luck, Sam would be pacing the perimeter like a goddamn guard dog.

Billy stared at me, the same glint in his eyes as Sam had the day before. I knew if I attempted to speak, I would say things I'd regret later.

I spun on my heel and slammed the door on my way out.

The school day passed without incident. Sam was not there, but neither was Embry. All I could do was count down the minutes until Bella picked me up.

Yeah. Bella was picking me up. I cursed the heavens for not making me older or at least giving me a car. Or an engine for the car I had. Or just… something to level the playing field.

_Throw me a bone, here!_

I only had to wait ten minutes or so before Bella arrived in the parking lot. I grinned like a fool as I climbed in the cab of her truck and greeted her.

We drove back to her house, determined to do something "nonmechanical," as she suggested on Monday. Truth be told, I missed her. It had only been one day since I'd seen her, and I really, truly missed her.

For the record, I realized how much I now resembled a thirteen-year-old girl with her first crush. I just couldn't bring myself to care.

We spent the remainder of the afternoon in the kitchen. She was cooking lasagna for Charlie and "trying to atone for all the pizza" he had been ordering while she spent her time in La Push. I _almost_ felt bad. Almost.

As Bella worked in the kitchen, she seemed more at ease than she did since before _he_ left. She was clearly in her element, doing what she enjoyed to do. I hoped I played at least a small part in her apparent happiness as she allowed me to taste the sauce and sample it through the various stages of cooking. Lasagna takes fucking _forever_ to prepare, so we laid our homework out on the living room floor and sprawled out to be productive and responsible for once. I had to admit, even though the English paper I was researching was annoying as hell, the fact that Bella was there next to me – albeit silently working on her Calculus problems – made things seem easier in general.

That night I stayed for dinner with Bella and Charlie and took a plate of Bella's fabulous lasagna home for my dad. Before I left, I unwillingly added another year to her negotiable age for being a fantastic cook. She found this particularly amusing, though I reminded her I was still older.

When I got home he was already in his room with the door shut, so I knocked on it to let him know I was back and promptly turned into the doorway of my room, shutting the door rather forcefully behind me.

No, I was not over it.

My best friend was missing and nobody but Quil and I seemed to be worried. We had gone over scenario after scenario. Did he go up to Neah Bay for the week? No, he would never just leave and not tell us. And then there was the inexplicable presence of Sam.

Something was very wrong.

Thursday, Bella picked me up from school again. We drove back to Forks and watched a _Monster Garage_ marathon on The Discovery Channel. I teased her about using her life's savings on chauffeuring me around the Olympic Peninsula, but then she asked to add one year per gallon of gas she used each day. That shut me up real quick.

Thursday also brought with it the decision to go to Embry's house. After I got home from Bella's, Quil picked me up and we drove to the other side of La Push. The house was vacant; there was no sign of him anywhere. It was actually pretty creepy, and it did nothing for the sick feeling in my stomach that I'd been harboring since I realized there was something wrong with my friend. Quil had to work at the store on Friday, so I told him we could come back on Saturday to check again before Bella arrived. Shit was getting out of hand.

Billy picked me up from school on Friday and I waited impatiently for Bella in my garage. I picked and poked at the Sprint until she showed up and I could concentrate enough to make some progress on the damn thing. It was remarkable how her presence just… _comforted_ me. Many times, I considered telling her the whole story – or what I knew of it, anyway – just to get the opinion of someone who wasn't Quil. But I knew she would worry, and I didn't want to worry her; I wanted to enjoy my time with her as best as I could. I wanted her to be happy while she was here.

That day, as she walked past me to get to the stacks of soda in the corner, I noticed she smelled like strawberries. It was a light, breezy scent that intoxicated me like a drug and actually made me drop my hex wrench. That probably had to do with the smile she causally tossed my way as she passed, too.

And just like that, Bella Swan had become my everything.

I woke up Saturday morning feeling both excited and uneasy. It was an odd combination. I was excited because after working on the bikes for a solid week I had made a considerable amount of progress. I was confident that I could finish them in the next day or so, depending on how much effort I could put in today, while my mind was slightly elsewhere. Bella was working until two, and until she arrived in La Push to pick me up, I had other plans.

Quil and I were determined to find Embry. He picked me up at eight because we wanted to have enough time to search properly if he wasn't at his house, which we figured he wouldn't be.

We were wrong.

Quil parked his truck outside of Embry's and we got out. We looked at each other, silently communicating what we knew to be true – this was different. The house was dark, but not vacant. There was a single light on in the kitchen, and we hurried towards the house.

We went in the front door and through the living room. We wandered around the Calls' tiny house, but we found no one. As we passed through the kitchen to step out the back door, Quil gasped and pointed to the window over the sink.

Embry was sitting near the edge of the forest, shirtless, rocking back and forth with his knees curled up under his chin. His arms were wrapped around his legs and his forehead was resting on his knees.

I've never moved faster in my entire life.

Quil and I scrambled to fit out the back door at the same time, running toward our friend and yelling his name. His head snapped up at the sound and he looked at us incredulously. He stopped rocking and sat completely still, except for slight tremors that ran through his body. It looked like he had the chills or something.

"Embry! What the hell is going on?"

"Jesus Christ, where the fuck have you _been_?"

"What are you doing here?" He asked both of us, ignoring our prior questions. His eyes were wide and shone with one single emotion: fear.

"Embry, tell us where you've been," I demanded, reaching my hand down to grab his arm and pull him up off the ground. His skin was on fire. "Why the hell are you half-naked? It's January, you asshole."

"Are you sick, dude? We've been worried about you," Quil explained, appraising Embry as he straightened up. "We called about a million times, and we stopped by on Thursday."

Embry stared at both of us, his eyes wide, his frame trembling. I noticed he was actually dirty, too… he had grass stains on his elbows and the cut-off shorts he wore were covered in dirt.

"Embry. Say something," I practically barked. I punctuated every word of my next sentence as if I was speaking to a five-year-old. "What. Is. Going. On?"

"You need to go," Embry's voice was slightly maniacal as he shook his head infinitesimally, never breaking eye contact. "I just can't. I can't. I want to—"

His words broke off as though he had choked on his tongue. I started forward, but he shook his head.

"Go. Now."

"Embry, you're freaking us out, man," Quil said quietly.

"I'm fine," he lied. His face betrayed him; it was trembling along with the rest of his body as he struggled to uphold his façade. "There's nothing I can say to you right now. Maybe someday. Not now. Go."

"Em—"

"Jake, leave." He closed his eyes, shook his head again, and turned towards the woods. "Please don't come here again. I'll be back in school on Monday." His body was wracked with one final tremor before he darted into the woods – still shirtless, still dirty, and still our closest friend.

Quil and I gaped at the place he had been standing just seconds before, both at a complete and utter loss for words.

We climbed back in the truck and he drove me back to my house in silence. I was pretty sure that neither of us had anything to say to the other, as we were consumed in our own thoughts regarding what the hell just occurred.

He dropped me off in my driveway and I shuffled to the garage. I sat down on the floor and glanced up at the clock. 9:15. I leaned my head against the Sprint's new bike seat and closed my eyes, determined to forget, as least for a little while, what I had just witnessed.

What _had_ I just witnessed, anyway? Fuck if I knew.

I worked on the Sprint diligently until I heard the phone ring inside the house a few hours later. It snapped me out of my trance and I looked at the clock again. A quarter to one. The kitchen window was open and my garage radio was off, so I could hear Billy as he talked loudly about his decision to skip fishing today, explaining that it was too late in the day to catch anything that was actually worth catching. I stood up and wandered into the house to shower. Bella worked until two today, and I was ready to get the hell out of La Push as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

Fortunately, said opportunity arrived right on time, and I happily greeted her as I slung my bookbag into the back of the Chevy's cab. Simply seeing Bella brightened my whole day, despite what had happened this morning.

I shuddered at the mere memory.

It turns out that Charlie had been the one who called about fishing earlier, so we had the house to ourselves for the afternoon. We finished our respective piles of homework – I was glad to have my English paper out of the way; Bella was happy to have gotten ahead in her Calculus class. We were quite proud of ourselves, actually, and we spent a comfortable afternoon on the couch watching more _Monster Garage._

Eight o'clock rolled around, and I sighed. "I probably ought to go. It's later than I thought."

"Okay, fine," Bella muttered reluctantly. "I'll take you home."

Her reaction made me ecstatic – she didn't want me to leave! I laughed at her unenthusiastic attitude as she grabbed the keys and headed out the front door.

"Tomorrow, back to work," she said with a smile. "What time do you want me to come up?"

After my hard work this morning, I was almost finished with both bikes – they just needed one last brake-check and a good polish. "I'll call you first, okay?" I asked excitedly.

"Sure," she frowned. I grinned back.

When I got home that night, I stopped in the house to drop my books off in my room and continued out the back door to the garage. I did some final checks on the bikes and tightened a few screws to make sure everything was in its place. As I adjusted the Honda to what I assumed would be her liking, I considered disconnecting the rear brake line, but I figured I would just tell her to use the front brakes instead until she got used to it. Finally, I got some polish from one of the shelves, grabbed a relatively un-greasy grease rag, and got to work.

They were shiny. They were almost like new.

They were _ours_.

---

I woke early the next morning and walked to the store to buy a little finishing touch for our bikes. When I got home, I wheeled the bikes out of the garage and through the trees, finally settling on a spot invisible to the house but perfectly clear from where Bella would park. I tied the blue ribbon I had purchased to the handlebars – one on each – and I smiled to myself, knowing how pleased she would be when she found out they were finished.

I hurried into the house to get the phone and dialed her number. Billy was nowhere to be seen, but I still wanted to be discreet about things. I remembered our very first conversation about the motorcycles as she answered the phone, sounding a little breathless.

_Were you running a freaking marathon, Bells?_ I wanted to ask her. Instead, I calmly said, "Bella."

"Hey, Jake."

"I believe that… we have a _date_," I emphasized the last word, hoping she would connect it with what we had discussed a week earlier instead of thinking I was shamelessly putting the moves on her over the phone.

There was a pause, and then she exclaimed, "They're _done_? I can't believe it!" I hadn't heard her sound so excited since… well, I didn't know when.

"Yeah, they run and everything."

_Well duh, jackass. That would, in fact, classify them as "done."_

Oh, perfect. My inner-monologue was more sarcastic than usual today; calling me names in addition to pointing out the obvious.

"Jacob, you are absolutely, without a doubt, the most talented and wonderful person I know," she managed breathlessly. "You get ten years for this one."

"Cool! I'm middle-aged now!"

"I'm on my way up!" She laughed and hung up the phone before I could get a word in edgewise.

She made it to my house in record timing, and she was laughing as I ran out of the house to greet her. She was looking at the blue ribbons.

Nothing in the whole world compared to seeing my brown-eyed girl smile.

"Ready?" I asked eagerly, my voice low. Billy was in the kitchen making lunch, but I wanted to be sure he wasn't looking out the window. Before I could look, Bella glanced over my shoulder and confirmed that we were alone by nodding.

"Yeah," she said, a bit of an edge to her voice.

Bella had parked her truck near the edge of the trees, so I lifted each bike into the bed of the Chevy and laid them on their sides, hiding them from view.

"Let's go," I encouraged, "I know the perfect spot – no one will catch us there."

I directed her south, out of town. We drove down a dirt road and up onto the cliffs, in and out of the forest, with glimpses of the Pacific Ocean through periodic breaks in the trees. It was a nice day – no rain, for once – but the wind made it a bit chilly. I was glad to see that she had worn a jacket.

I rambled on about finishing the bikes as she slowed her pace so that she could safely gaze out the window at the ocean every once in a while.

"So the last thing I did was polish the fairing on your bike, because the red really shined once—"

"No!" Bella screamed, interrupting my sentence and slamming on the brakes.

"What's wrong?" I shouted frantically, now completely alarmed.

"That guy – he just _jumped_ off the _cliff_!" She pointed upward, where four tall men stood, facing the vast ocean with their toes near the edge. Bella continued to yell. "Why didn't they stop him? We've got to call an ambulance!" She threw open her door in attempt at God-knows-what and started to get out.

I squinted my eyes at the cliff divers, trying to focus on identifying them, and I laughed darkly. My closer inspection revealed that it was none other than Paul and Jared… and Embry. I didn't have to make many guesses as to who the first diver was.

My stomach suddenly took a dive of its own.

Bella whipped around to stare at me like I was the one pushing them off the damn cliff, against their will for that matter. I sighed.

"They're just cliff diving, Bella. Recreation," I explained, trying to mask the agitation in my voice. "La Push doesn't have a mall, you know."

"Cliff diving?" She repeated curiously. She stared back at the boys as Jared stepped to the edge.

He leapt off the edge, a perfect pencil-dive – _pussy_ – and cut into the dark grey waves below.

I rolled my eyes.

"Wow. It's so high," she breathed as she finally slid back into her seat. She kept her eyes trained on Paul and Embry, who were still at the edge of the cliff. "It must be a hundred feet."

"Well, yeah, most of us jump from lower down, that rock that juts out from the cliff about halfway," I indicated towards the lower protrusion. I remembered a few weeks back to when Embry, Quil, and I had jumped, and Quil reluctantly decided against the upper ledge. "_Those_ guys are insane," I scoffed. "Probably showing off how tough they are. I mean, really, it's freezing today. That water can't feel good."

"_You_ jump off the cliff?" Her eyes were wide as she looked at me.

_Ah, this impressed her_. I smiled and shrugged.

"Sure, sure. It's fun. A little scary, kind of a rush."

She turned away from me to redirect her attention at Paul, who was now pacing the edge. I would be lying if I didn't admit that it made me want to push him off the cliff myself.

"Jake, you have to take me cliff diving," she decided, turning back to look at me with an excited smile.

_Yeah, _that'll_ be the day._

"Bella," I frowned, "you just wanted me to call an ambulance for Sam."

She began climbing out of the car again as she said, "I want to try."

_Holy shit!_ I grabbed her wrist gently to stop her from running and flinging herself off the cliff right this second. It seemed absolutely ridiculous to me that she just _had_ to do it _now_. Or at all, for that matter.

"Not today, all right? Can we at least wait for a warmer day?"

"Okay, fine," she conceded. "But I want to go soon."

"Soon," I rolled my eyes again. "Sometimes you're a little strange, Bella. Do you know that?"

"Yes."

"And we're not jumping off the top." I had to establish rules in advance. I had no idea what she would do from one second to the next anymore. I seriously questioned her sanity as her eyes lit up while she watched Paul take a running start and hurl himself off the cliff.

"Fine. Not the first time, anyway."

I sighed, exasperated. _Damnit, Bella. You'll be the death of me, I swear you will._

"Are we going to try out the bikes or not?" I asked firmly, determined to change the subject.

"Okay, okay," she agreed, looking away from Embry, who was now the only one left on the cliff. I couldn't fucking believe he was going to dive from the top. Thoughts of the day before came rushing back to me, and I had to swallow the bile that rose in my throat.

I was disgusted. I was angry. I was confused.

I was hurt.

"So who were those guys – the crazy ones?" Bella asked, bringing me out of my own head. She had started driving again, and I was thankful that I didn't have to see whether or not Embry would've jumped. Though I was pretty sure I knew the answer anyway.

I cleared my throat in contempt. "The La Push gang." Quil and I had kicked around the name throughout our discussions that past week.

"You have a gang?" She looked taken aback and… impressed? I had to laugh.

"Not like that. I swear, they're like hall monitors gone bad," I explained, using Quil's description, minus the expletives. "They don't start fights, they keep the peace." I made a face again. "There was this guy from up somewhere by the Makah rez, big guy, too, scary-looking. Well, word got around that he was selling meth to kids, and Sam Uley and his _disciples_ ran him off our land. They're all about _our land_, and _tribe pride_… it's getting ridiculous." _Gotten ridiculous, past tense_, I corrected myself inwardly. "The worst part is that the council takes them seriously. Embry said that the council actually meets with Sam." I hoped she didn't notice the way I almost stuttered over his name. "Embry also heard from Leah Clearwater that they call themselves 'protectors' or something like that."

I noticed that I was tense, my hands balled into tight fists at my side.

"You don't like them very much," she observed. I wanted to spit the 'Captain Obvious' retort at her, but I wasn't about to take my frustration out on my brown-eyed girl. She didn't deserve that.

"Does it show?" was what I came up with instead.

"Well… It doesn't sound like they're doing anything bad. Just sort of annoyingly goody-two-shoes for a gang." She laid a hand on top of mine soothingly, keeping the other on the steering wheel. I regretted even considering the 'Captain Obvious' remark, and not just because it _did_ sound like a first-grade response.

_Here comes the word vomit._

"Yeah. Annoyingly is a good word." I took a deep breath, knowing I was about to let it all out. "They're always showing off – like the cliff diving thing. They act like… like, I don't know. Like tough guys. I was hanging out at the store with Embry and Quil once, last semester, and Sam came by with his followers, Jared and Paul. Quil said something, you know how he's got a big mouth, and it pissed Paul off. His eyes got all dark, and he sort of smiled – no, he showed his teeth but he didn't smile – and it was like he was so mad he was shaking or something. But Sam put his hand against Paul's chest and shook his head. Paul looked at him for a minute and calmed down. Honestly, it was like Sam was holding him back – like Paul was going to tear us up if Sam didn't stop him. Like a bad western. You know, Sam's a pretty big guy, he's twenty." _Which is just one of the many reasons he should have gotten the fuck out of La Push by now_. "But Paul's just sixteen, too, shorter than me and not as beefy as Quil. I think any one of us could take him."

"Tough guys," she nodded, and I realized it actually felt nice to tell her these things as she continued. "Isn't Sam a little too old for this kind of thing?"

Oh, I wasn't done yet.

"Yeah. He was supposed to go to college, but he stayed. And no one gave him any crap about it, either. The whole council pitched a fit when my sister turned down a partial scholarship and got married," I allowed my thoughts to briefly drift to my sister Rebecca, and then I bitterly added, "But, oh no, Sam Uley can do no wrong."

At that point, there was a good chance that smoke was coming out of my ears. I stared out the window.

I saw her chance a look at me from the corner of her eye, and quickly looked back at the road in front of her. "It all sounds really annoying and… strange. But I don't get why you're taking it so personally."

"You just missed the turn," I replied, my voice carefully controlled.

She quickly pulled a U-turn. "Thanks for the head's up."

"Sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

_Can you blame me?_

We sat in silence for a few minutes, and then I said, "You can stop anywhere along here."

She immediately pulled over and turned the key in the ignition, shutting the truck off. We stepped out and I rounded the side to get near the bed of the truck, where I lifted each motorcycle out and set it on its kickstand. She was staring at me, kind of the way Sam and my father did, and I tried not to let it bother me. This was Bella.

"Happy late birthday. Are you ready for this?" I smiled, trying to fake enthusiasm. I would get over it for now. I would push this out of my head.

_Just like I want to push Sam off the cliff._

Okay, that was not the way to go about things.

I wheeled the bike towards her, and she looked frightened. I tried harder to smile, reassuringly this time. "We'll take it slow." I turned towards the Sprint.

"Jake…" she began, and I wondered if she was rethinking our plan.

"Yeah?"

"What's really bothering you? About the Sam thing, I mean? Is there something else?"

I sighed and looked down, busying myself by gingerly kicking my shoe against the front tire of the Sprint. I was never good at hiding my feelings, though I'd tried damn hard this time.

I began to talk. Fast.

"It's just… the way they treat me. It creeps me out. You know, the council is supposed to be made up of equals, but if there was a leader, it would be my dad. I've never been able to figure out why people treat him the way they do. Why his opinion counts the most. It's got something to do with his father and his father's father. My great-grandpa, Ephriam Black, was sort of the last chief we had, and they still listen to Billy, maybe because of that.

"But I'm just like everyone else. Nobody treats _me_ special… until now." I looked up at her as I finished, my voice trailing off softly.

Bella's face abruptly turned angry. This surprised me. "Sam treats you special?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. He looks at me like he's waiting for something… like I'm going to join his stupid gang someday. He pays more attention to me than any of the other guys. I hate it."

"You don't have to join anything," Bella assured me, venom injected in her voice. I had never seen her mad before.

"Yeah," I looked down again as I continued the rhythm of my shoe against the tire. I hoped we could end it at this, but I didn't think I would be that lucky. Then again, I _wanted_ to tell her everything… I just didn't know if I could do so without breaking down into tears like a pansy. This shit was seriously eating away at me.

"What?" She wanted more.

I bit my lip and decided to go for it. I looked back up at her, hoping the sadness in my eyes was much less obvious than it felt. "It's Embry. He's been avoiding me lately."

"You've been hanging out with me a lot."

"No, that's not it. It's not just me, it's Quil, too and everyone." _Not that 'everyone' seemed to be as concerned._ "Embry missed a week of school, but he was never home when we tried to see him or call him. And when we finally did find him there, he looked… he looked freaked out. Terrified. Quil and I both tried to get him to tell us what was wrong, but he would barely talk to either one of us."

I increased my tempo on the tire as I continued.

"And now, out of nowhere, Embry's hanging out with Sam and the rest of them. He was out on the cliffs today," I admitted, my voice nearly a whisper. "Bella, they bugged him even more than they bother me," I explained, recalling our last discussion in my garage. It had only been seven days; the longest week of my life. "He didn't want anything to do with them. And now Embry's following Sam around like he's joined a cult.

"And that's the way it was with Paul. Just exactly the same. He wasn't friends with Sam at all. Then he stopped coming to school for a few weeks, and, when he came back, suddenly Sam owned him. I don't know what it means. I can't figure it out, and I feel like I have to, because Embry's my friend and… Sam's looking at me funny… and…" My voice had cracked over Embry's name. I trailed off, afraid to say anything more just yet.

"Have you talked to Billy about this?" she asked as she looked up at me tenderly. The mention of my father's name set me off.

"Yes. That was helpful."

"What did he say?"

"'It's nothing you need to worry about now, Jacob,'" I imitated my father's deep voice almost perfectly. "'In a few years, if you don't… well, I'll explain later.'" I grimaced. "What am I supposed to get from that? Is he trying to say it's some stupid puberty, coming-of-age thing? This is something else. Something wrong."

I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I bit my lip. _Shit, I'm going to cry in front of Bella. This is just perfect._

She surprised me by launching herself at me, throwing her arms around my waist and pressing her face against my chest. I was frozen.

"Oh, Jake, it'll be okay!" She comforted. "If it gets worse you can come live with me and Charlie. Don't be scared, we'll think of something!"

_Oh my god, she is hugging me._

_Oh my god, she cares about me._

_Oh my _god_, I am _crying_._

"Thanks, Bella," I choked out as I wrapped my arms around her. This was humiliating, but I had to admit, the hug made me feel better. Having her in my arms made me feel better. Made me feel whole.

I inwardly chastised myself – _I_ was supposed to be the one comforting her. _I_ was supposed to be holding her together, to be her light in the dark. Her sunshine. And instead, in this moment, she was keeping me from falling to pieces.

Bella was an angel.

Of course, that realization didn't exactly stop me from being my usual sarcastic self. Damn instincts.

"If this is how you're going to react, I'll freak out more often," I laughed, and I was happy to realize that my voice was my own again instead of the wimpy imitation it was a second ago. I ran my fingers through her hair tentatively and inhaled her strawberry scent.

She pulled away, laughing and looking up at me. "It's hard to believe I'm two years older than you. You make me feel like a dwarf."

She did have to look _way_ up in order to look me in the eye. I chuckled.

"You're forgetting I'm in my forties, of course."

"Oh, that's right."

I patted her head and said, "You're like a little doll. A porcelain doll."

"Let's not start with the albino cracks." She rolled her eyes.

"Seriously, Bella, are you sure you're not?" I reached out to her again, stretching my dark arm next to her chalky one. "I've never seen anyone paler than you… well, except for—"

_What. An. Idiot._

I tried to recover from my slip, determined not to let her mind wander _there_. I feared it was too late, however, when she looked away from me as I desperately asked, "So are we going to ride or what?"

"Let's do it," she nodded as she turned back to me, her face set in lines of determination.

* * *

_If you guys really stuck with Jake and I for that amount of time, you deserve a gold star. Seriously._

_I might not be able to update as soon as I did this time because next week is going to be hell school-wise. But I promise I'll do the best I can._

_Reviews make me happier than Jake was when he finished the bikes. And that's pretty fucking happy._

_Puh-puh-puhlease? ;)_


	4. I Ride, She Crashes, We Repeat

**Jake's not mine; he belongs to Stephenie Meyer. *sadtimes***

_A/N: F__irst thing's first: I love my beta, AHelm. She is THE BEST. And if you enjoy my Jake, go read her story, No Outlet, and get her bloody brilliant take on Leah - which could be considered canon, by the way; that's how good it is. It's post-BD, and aside from Lee-Lee, her version of Jake (and of Seth, for that matter) is made of win. ILYSFM, Ang. P&S. :)_

_This chapter is dedicated to Ladyofsteele, who continues to make me smile and blush in the face of her epic reviews. Thanks again, love!  


* * *

_

"Okay, where's your clutch?"

Bella's eyes narrowed, deep in thought. Then, as though a lightbulb had gone off, she suddenly pointed at the lever on her left handlebar, all proud of herself. As soon as she let go of the grip, the bike swayed underneath her.

"Jacob, it won't stay up," she whined. Bella never whined.

"It will when you're moving," I reassured her for the hundredth time. "Now where's your break?"

Instead of showing me this time, she held tight to the bike and said, "Behind my right foot."

_Damnit_.

"Wrong." I placed my left hand on top of her right one and squeezed, indicating that the brake was the lever on the throttle. Her hand felt like ice under mine, and I wasn't even warm.

"But you said—"

I shook my head and interrupted her. "This is the brake you want. Don't use the back brake now, that's for later, when you know what you're doing."

She narrowed her eyes and looked at me quizzically.

"That doesn't sound right. Aren't both brakes kind of important?"

_Not unless you want to throw yourself into a tree, Miss Beginner's Bad Luck._

"Forget the back brake, okay?" I curled my fingers around hers, this time even tighter for emphasis. "Here. _That_ is how you brake. Don't forget."

"Fine," she huffed. I bit back a grin. She was so adorable when she was all stubborn and determined.

_Bella can always make me smile…_

I stopped that train of thought before it left the station. _Thinking about things like that right now will get you nowhere, Jake_. I returned to the matter at hand.

"Throttle?"

She twisted the right grip.

"Gearshift?"

She pushed against it with her left calf.

I was so proud of my brown-eyed girl.

"Very good. I think you've got all the parts down. Now you just have to get it moving."

"Uh-huh," she breathed, looking more than apprehensive. She gazed down the long dirt road as if sizing up the opposition.

"I want you to hold down the clutch," I directed seriously. She wrapped her skinny, delicate fingers around it.

I was going to have to make this very, _very_ clear. Even if she did act like she had steel balls most of the time, and I knew she could take care of herself, this part of our lesson was fucking important. I needed her to listen to me.

"Now this is crucial, Bella," I began. "Don't let go of that, okay? I want you to pretend that I've handed you a live grenade. The pin is out and you are holding the spoon."

Her little knuckles turned white under the new pressure of the theoretical grenade.

"Good," I encouraged. "Do you think you can kick-start it?"

Her jaw tensed as she reluctantly replied, "If I move my foot, I will fall over."

"Okay, I'll do it. Don't let go of the clutch."

I stepped back once and slammed my foot down on the pedal forcefully, which rocked the bike. I caught it before it could throw her off, and I was satisfied with the engine's short, deep purr.

"Steady there. Do you still have the clutch?"

"Yes," she squeaked. I looked up into her terrified brown eyes.

"Plant your feet – I'm going to try again," I warned her. I gripped the back of her seat for extra support as she put her feet on the ground.

Four hard kicks later, the ignition caught. The bike roared to life, and I could hardly contain my excitement. But, I had to make sure Bella would be safe on this thing, and that she wasn't going to fucking freak out.

I looked at her again, and just as I suspected, Bella looked like she was going to fucking freak out. _Shit_.

"Try out the throttle. _Very_ lightly," I cautioned. "And don't let go of the clutch."

She made a face and twisted the throttle apprehensively. The Honda thundered beneath her, and this time I couldn't contain my enthusiastic smile as it stretched across my face.

"Do you remember how to put it into first gear?" It was one of the last things I had taught her, just a few minutes earlier while reviewing the bike's anatomy.

She nodded.

"Well, go ahead and do it." I smiled cheerfully. I had faith in her.

"Okay." She made no moves.

After a few seconds, I offered, "Left foot," just in case she forgot.

"I _know_." She looked annoyed. And scared shitless.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked, finally verbalizing my thoughts. "You look scared."

"I'm fine," she said brusquely as she kicked the gearshift down to fist gear. I grinned and considered chastising her for her poor attitude.

It didn't look like now was a good time for jokes, though. Even _I_ could recognize that. I decided to take a different route.

"Very good," I complimented, but I held back the round of applause that threatened to burst from my hands. She would think I was patronizing her, I was sure of it.

I took a step back from the bike. "Now, _very_ gently, ease up on the clutch."

She looked at me incredulously as she said, "You want me to let go of the grenade?"

I sighed, rethinking our little plan. I suddenly had a bad feeling about this. "That's how you move, Bella. Just do it little by little."

My eyes were glued to her left hand as I watched the tension in her fingers lessen minutely.

I looked up to congratulate her, and all of a sudden the look on her face changed from deep concentration to shock and surprise.

"Oh!" She gasped, and her hand fell off the clutch.

My reaction time was fast, but not fast enough. I had _almost_ grabbed Bella as the bike dragged her past me and threw her onto the ground, pinning her underneath it. The engine stalled and fell silent as I rushed forward, pulling the Honda off of her small body.

"Bella?" I asked frantically. "Are you hurt?"

Apparently her body was the only thing that was physically here, because her eyes were unfocused and her face was still frozen in surprise. I shook her shoulder.

"Bella?"

"I'm fine," she muttered, her eyes still unfocused.

I grabbed both of her hands and pulled her up. She still wasn't looking at me, but she seemed to be coming around. _Is this what a concussion looks like? Should I get her to a hospital?_

"Did you hit your head?"

"I don't think so." She shook her head side to side, making sure everything was intact. "I didn't hurt the bike, did I?"

I rolled my eyes. It was just so _Bella_ – worrying about the welfare of the goddamn bike after it almost crushed her.

"No. You just stalled the engine. You let go of the clutch too fast."

"Let's try again," she said quickly, nodding as she made her decision.

I sighed. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

I never knew she had this wild side to her, and if I was being honest, it kind of freaked me out. There had to be an ulterior motive for all of her sudden impulsivity. The Bella I knew was always strong and independent, but never reckless or careless.

I had a feeling I knew what – no, _who_ – had changed that. The thought literally made me sick to my stomach.

This time, Bella wanted to kick-start the motorcycle herself. It took her a while to get her technique down, which turned out to be a little jump-kick combination that had me choking back laughter again. Her face was set in determined lines again, and I wondered again exactly what it was that made this experience so important to her. But, she was spending time with me, and I was thankful for that, so I simply played my part – I hovered over the handlebars while she worked at starting the Honda, ready to be her lifesaver.

I was _always_ ready to be her lifesaver. I would be anything she needed me to be, after all…

Bella continued to jump-kick several more times before the engine caught and roared beneath her once more. I stepped back again and her smile stretched wide across her face, almost a perfect facsimile of my own.

_Dear God, Please keep my Bells safe if I ever fail to do it myself, okay? In return, I promise to… stop swearing so much. Or something else just as good. Thanks, man. Love, Jake._

"Easy on the clutch," I reminded her as I snapped out of my own head.

Her smile was strained, her face still focused and determined.

"Ease off slowly," I coaxed, to which she answered, "I will."

I watched as she relaxed her hand just a tiny amount. And then just a little bit more. And then just a _little_ bit more than that…

She was soaring.

The wind from her bike gusted back at me as she took off, flying down the sandy dirt path. Her long brown hair was thrown out behind her while she sat, straight as a pole, on the seat of the Honda. I crossed my arms and watched proudly as Bella maintained her balance and rode further and further down the road.

I stepped towards the Sprint, ready to hop on and catch up with her. As I straddled the bike and got ready to kick-start it, I glanced up at my Bella Dot in the distance.

I noticed that the part of the road that she was approaching was about to curve slightly to the left, a fact that she had apparently just taken notice of. I squinted to see her better as I kicked the Sprint into first gear and took off after her.

_Fuck. Tell me she did _not_ just slam on her foot brake!_

I leaned forward as my hair whipped down my back, pushing the Sprint harder and faster in an effort to reach her quickly. I watched the Honda shudder underneath her in the distance as she fumbled with the handlebars, turning them too quickly to the left.

It was too late. She was spinning, and crashing, and—

_Hey, you! Big Man Upstairs! I thought we had a deal!_

Well, since He didn't hold his end of the bargain, I wasn't going to hold mine.

But my mind couldn't even form coherent curses as I finally cut the Sprint's engine, literally leaping off my bike and running to her.

"Bella!" I screamed as I yanked the Honda off her little body for the second time today. I crouched down next to her. _Jesus Christ, Charlie is going to kill me. How could I let this happen? What the fuck was I thinking?_ I scolded myself as she rolled over, pulling her face out of the dirt and gasping for air.

Bella was bleeding profusely from her forehead. My hands frantically waved in her general direction, wanting to do something but not really knowing what to do at all. I wanted to brush the dirt and sand from her cheek, but I didn't want to irritate the cut. And good God, it was _bleeding_.

"Wow," she murmured.

"Bella! Bella, are you alive?!" _What a ridiculous question; she is obviously alive._

Now was not the time for the voices in my head to go all fucking sardonic on me. Blood was pouring from Bella's head into her hair as she flexed her arms and legs, still lying on the ground.

"I'm great!" She assured me. "Let's do it again."

Seriously, how many times today had I stopped myself from asking her if she had gone batshit crazy? _Too_ many, that's how fucking many.

This was another one of those times.

"I don't think so," I shook my head as my voice cracked with worry. "I think I'd better drive you to the hospital first.

"I'm fine," she replied as she stared at me blankly.

"Um, Bella? You've got a huge cut on your forehead, and it's gushing blood."

She slapped her hand to her forehead and it landed square on the cut. She pulled her hands back and they were covered in a sticky mess of blood and dirt and moss. I had to get her cleaned up, and I had to do it soon.

I stood up, ready to take action.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Jacob," she made an apologetic face at me as she applied pressure to her forehead. I looked down at her, and although I was overcome with worry, I was slightly amused.

"Why are you apologizing for bleeding?" I bent down and wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her up, keeping a hand on her arm in case she was dizzy. "Let's go. I'll drive."

"What about the bikes?" She asked as she handed me the keys to her truck.

I decided that I could just stash the bikes in the bed of the truck until we could get them back into my garage. In the meantime, Bella would need something to hold to her forehead.

"Wait here. And take this." I tore my shirt off and tossed it to her. She bunched it up and placed it to her forehead, breathing deeply through her mouth. Bella hated the smell of blood.

_Who the hell could even smell blood, anyway?_ I briefly wondered as I hopped on the Sprint and kicked it to a start again, speeding back the way we came. I stopped near the side of the Chevy, literally threw my bike into the bed, and ran to the driver's side of the truck.

I drove back to her as fast as I could, stopping just in front of her and the bike. I hurried toward her, and I noticed that my white undershirt was now mostly red. I was doing my best to stay calm, but it wasn't working so well.

Ordinarily, staying calm in the face of a crisis would be no problem for me. But this was Bella. This was my brown-eyed girl. How could I let her get hurt like this?

I slid my arm around her waist. "Okay, let's get you in the truck."

"I'm honestly fine," she reassured me. "Don't get worked up. It's just a little blood."

"Just a _lot_ of blood," I mumbled as I grabbed her bike and laid it in the truck bed next to mine.

I slid in the driver's seat, and she began talking. "Now, let's think about this for a second. If you take me to the ER like this, Charlie is sure to hear about it."

Yeah, right. As if I wasn't going to take her to the ER. _Nice try, Bells_.

"Bella, I think you need stitches. I'm not going to let you bleed to death."

Perhaps I was being a bit dramatic, but still, the thought of Bella seriously injured cut through me like a knife. I pushed the Chevy's gas pedal harder, willing this ancient piece of crap to just _speed up_ for once.

"I won't. Let's just take the bikes back first, and then we'll make a stop at my house so I can dispose of the evidence before we go to the hospital."

I considered this. She wouldn't get in trouble that way, and she had at least agreed to go to the hospital in the first place. That simple fact was a feat in itself.

_But what in God's name would Charlie do if he saw his daughter like this?_

"What about Charlie?" I asked.

"He said he had to work today."

"Are you really sure?" I frowned.

"Trust me. I'm an easy bleeder. It's not nearly as dire as it looks."

We drove back towards Forks in silence. Though the black hole where her radio had once been was gutted and empty, I had come to realize that Bella preferred it this way – no music, no distraction. Just silence. I was happy to appease her, of course, so I never offered to buy her a new radio or reinstall the old one. I wasn't even sure if she still _had_ the old one, considering the state it must be in after she clawed the damn thing out of the dash like a goddamn animal.

I glanced over at her. She was staring out the front window, her face and neck covered in sticky red blood and random bits of grass. But in great contrast to her war paint was the exhilarated expression she wore back on the dirt road.

She was perfectly content. She was _happy_.

A good portion of my mind was trying to come up with the reason she was so freaking elated to be gushing blood from her head. But the rest of my mind was just happy that she was happy.

That was everything I could hope for, after all.

Just as I was about to turn back to the road, she shuddered slightly, her face contorting from contentment to pain in a split second.

"You still okay?" I asked, concerned with her sudden change in expression.

"Yeah." She didn't convince me for a second.

"By the way, I'm going to disconnect your foot brake tonight." I mentally berated myself for not doing it the previous night when I had originally considered it.

When we arrived at her house, she hurried upstairs to change and clean up a bit. I had wanted to help her clean off the cut, but of course she wouldn't let me. So I waited impatiently near the bottom of the stairs.

"Hurry up," I called up the stairwell. She was probably still losing a lot of blood.

She trotted down the stairs and craned her neck to look at me. "How do I look?"

"Better," I allowed, as I appraised her new, blood-free clothes and the pale stretch of skin on her head and neck, which was now visible due to her recent clean-up.

"Do I look like I tripped in your garage and hit my head on a hammer?"

Of _course_ she would be plotting a cover story. I was actually a little ashamed that I hadn't thought of one first.

"Sure, I guess so."

"Let's go then."

I grabbed her hand and towed her out the door. I helped her into the passenger seat despite her insistence on driving. As she frowned, I prepared my defense, but instead of more complaining she said, "We should have grabbed you a jacket."

I grinned as I slid in beside her. "That would have given us away. Besides, it's not cold."

I mean, I wasn't lying. The breeze had been a bit chilly out near the cliffs earlier, but I was perfectly comfortable now. Still, she looked at me suspiciously as I drove towards the hospital.

Though I continued to be the exemplary driver, looking straight ahead at the road in front of me, I noticed that she was staring at me. Not just my face, either – her eyes consistently roamed about my naked upper-body unabashedly.

"What?" I finally asked, a bit awkwardly. I wasn't used to being self-conscious. I rarely cared about what anyone thought of me long enough to be self-conscious in the first place.

"Nothing," she shrugged. "I just hadn't realized before. Did you know, you're sort of beautiful?"

_For the love of God._

"You hit your head pretty hard, didn't you?" I rolled my eyes.

"I'm serious."

"Well, then, thanks. Sort of." I blushed, hoping she didn't notice.

"You're sort of welcome," she smiled.

---

Our ER visit was just further proof that I was always right. Bella had needed seven stitches. I resisted the urge to chant, "I told you so!" over and over again, and opted instead to hold her hand while Dr. Snow sewed her forehead shut. Since he was up there already, I wanted to ask him if he could take a peek inside to see what the fuck was making her all crazy and impulsive lately. But I swallowed my sparkling wit for the millionth time that day and tried to distract Bella from her pain. I inwardly noted that I spent a lot of my time doing that lately.

When I got home that night, I went straight to my garage and disconnected her damn foot brake. Again, further proof that I was always right and that I should listen to my initial instincts.

On Monday, Embry returned to school. Nobody asked him where he had been, and he didn't speak to anyone except Paul and Jared the entire day. It absolutely killed me that he just walked right past Quil and me in the hallway without so much as a sideways glance. His mother had returned from Neah Bay on Sunday, and I briefly considered calling her to ask if she had noticed any changes in her son, but I had a feeling that Billy wouldn't be pleased if I did, which just confused me further.

When I got home that day, I found Billy in his usual spot at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper and drinking coffee. I sat down right in front of him, demanding his attention, and I told him that I had confided in Bella about the weirdness surrounding Sam and Embry situation.

"I told you, son, it's nothing that you should concern yourself with just yet."

_Just yet?_ I tried to get more information out of him, but he completely ignored me and rolled himself into his bedroom, muttering something about needing to get to bed. It was barely eight o'clock at night, and the old man never went to bed earlier than ten.

This shit was ridiculous.

The week flew by in a blur of motorcycles and trips to the hospital. After school on Monday, Bella picked me up and we headed out to the same old dirt road to practice. On Tuesday I resolved to make a stop at the store before she picked me up so that I could restock my band-aid supply. The girl could _not_ stay up on that bike for longer than a simple stretch of sandy ground, and she wouldn't let me assist her. She was determined and stubborn. And I fucking loved it.

Wednesday's adventure ended with a trip to the hospital on account of the fact that Bella had launched herself into a rather large tree. This resulted in a possible concussion and a phone call to Charlie, which worried both of us. But Bella assured me that Charlie would never find out, and most importantly, he would never forbid her from coming to La Push, no matter how many excuses she had to fabricate. I was completely content with this knowledge, and I found myself wondering exactly how this small girl had a big dude like me so completely wrapped around her tiny little finger.

The week's monotony was interrupted by Thursday's sudden awareness that Sam now picked Embry up from school, along with Paul and Jared. Of course, Sam paused before he stepped into the driver's side, catching my eye and squinting at me with the same look of anticipation I had come to recognize. I narrowed my eyes back at him, entirely annoyed and frustrated as usual. Quil saw Embry climb into Sam's car just as I did, and he immediately turned red and stomped off in the direction of his own truck, hands balled into fists at his side. The only thing that kept me from doing the same was that in that moment, I spotted Bella's truck idled near the curb, ready and waiting for another afternoon of riding.

Bella picked me up from school again on Friday, complaining about Charlie becoming concerned with all the injuries she had been acquiring this week.

"Maybe we should cool it with the bikes," I suggested, but as soon as I caught sight of the indignant look on her face, I sputtered as I tried to amend my proposal. "At least for a week or so. You could stay out of the hospital for a week, right?"

She groaned. "What are we going to do?"

"Whatever you want." I grinned.

Bella pursed her lips as she stared out the windshield, deep in thought. I watched her expression flicker between reluctance and hope for a considerable amount of time before I couldn't stand it anymore.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" I finally asked.

"Well… I found this place in the forest once – I came across it when I was, um, hiking." Though I knew Bella wasn't some sort of avid hiker, I made no comment and continued listening. "A little meadow, the most beautiful place. I don't know if I could track it down again on m own. It would definitely take a few tries…"

"We could use a compass and grid pattern," I offered, now thoroughly excited. My mind drifted briefly to memories from my childhood, when Embry, Quil and I would hike through the forest with maps and compasses, complicated webbed grids sketched across every available surface of our maps.

"Do you know where you started from?"

"Yes, just below the trailhead where the one-ten ends. I was going mostly south, I think," she answered, her eyebrows knitting together as she tried to remember.

"Cool. We'll find it." I was seriously pumped. I loved hiking.

I had explained our new plans to Billy that night, and he seemed fine with it. I was briefly worried that he wouldn't like the idea of us hiking while Charlie was still going on and on about the humungous bear that was apparently all set to make the next human that crossed his path dinner. But Billy just smiled and nodded. I noted that although he could be rather cryptic lately, he sure was easy to live with.

Bella worked Saturday mornings, but she promised she would come over right afterwards so that we could set our new plan into motion. So when she arrived with her new topographical map and her new hiking boots – _she's gonna regret those later_, I cringed – I flopped down onto the floor and spread out our supplies. While I drew the grid pattern onto our map, Bella sat in the kitchen and talked to Billy.

"Maybe we'll see the super bear," I chuckled, still eyeing the pencil as I drew the web.

Billy laughed. "Maybe you should take a jar of honey, just in case."

I grinned and sat up to look at Bella. "Hope your new boots are fast, Bells. Our little jar isn't going to keep a hungry bear occupied for long."

"I only have to be faster than you," she retorted, and I rolled my eyes.

"Good luck with that!" I folded the map and grabbed the compass. I stood, sticking both items in my back pocket. "Let's go."

Billy rolled himself towards the fridge and threw a 'Have fun' over his shoulder at us on the way.

When we reached the end of the trailhead about ten minutes later, we both got out and stared at the green wall before us.

"I went this way," she indicated straight ahead.

I glanced at the sign to the left that denoted the beginning of the trail, and then I glanced back at the direction she was pointing.

"Hmm."

"What?"

"I would have figured you for a trail kind of girl."

She smiled lightly as she said, "Not me. I'm a rebel."

I laughed as I pulled our map and compass out of my pocket. "Give me a second," I mumbled as I turned the compass every which way, trying to discern the best place to begin our venture. "Okay, first line on the grid. Let's do it."

The girl was slow. She was slower than slow. In fact, I could swear I saw a snail pass us as I kept to her walking pace. Of course, this could only mean that we would spend even _more_ time together, so I had no complaints. Quite the opposite, actually, as I whistled and swung my arms by my sides, still ready to catch her anytime she tripped. Which was often.

Every five minutes or so, I would check the compass and the map to make sure we were on track. We continued on like this, checking the map and engaging in mindless conversation, or humming random songs that came into my head. I was beaming and cheerful as we moved deeper and deeper into the forest.

"Hey… Jake?" Bella asked after I finished telling her about Quil's latest debacle at school – he had gotten into a fight with another senior after hitting on said senior's girlfriend.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"How are things… with Embry? Is he back to normal yet?"

I was silent as I kept walking, even though I was moving ahead of her. I paused a few feet ahead of her, not sure if I felt like talking about Embry. There really had been no progress with him, despite my and Quil's constant attempts to talk to him at school. I frowned.

"No. He's not back to normal," I conceded as she caught up to where I stood.

"Still with Sam." It was not a question, but more of a statement.

"Yup." I laid my arm across her shoulders as I thought the situation through for what seemed like the hundredth time this week.

"Are they still looking at you funny?" She inquired softly.

I stared straight ahead as I recalled a few days prior in the parking lot. "Sometimes."

"And Billy?"

"As helpful as ever," I spat, consumed with frustration and bitterness again.

"Our couch is always open," she offered, her voice rising a pitch or two, and it broke through my anger immediately.

"But think of the position that would put Charlie in – when Billy calls the police to report my kidnapping!" I laughed.

We hiked about six miles total before I decided it would be best to cut west and proceed back towards the truck, down another line of the grid.

"I'm starting to think that my quest to find this place is pretty much doomed," Bella admitted as we walked through the trees. We had nearly arrived at the truck.

"As long as you're sure we're starting from the right place…" I looked down at her beseechingly.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Then we'll find it," I promised her. I knew we were there, so I grabbed her hand and pulled her through a thick mass of ferns. The Chevy was parked directly in front of us, and I swept my hand towards is dramatically. "Trust me."

"You're good," she allowed, and she did look impressed. This made me smile even bigger, of course. "Next time we'll bring flashlights, though."

"We'll save hiking for Sundays from now on. I didn't know you were so slow."

She seized her hand from my grip and stalked around the side of the truck to the driver's seat. I chuckled at her dramatics.

"So you up for another try tomorrow?" I asked as I sat down next to her.

"Sure. Unless you want to go without me so I don't tie you down to my gimpy pace."

"I'll survive. If we're hiking again, though, you might want to pick up some moleskin. I bet you can feel those new boots right now," I grimaced as I imagined the pain her feet must be in. I suppose I could understand her slow pace, but I had a feeling that the new kicks weren't entirely to blame.

"A little," she admitted.

"I hope we see that bear tomorrow. I'm sort of disappointed about that," I admitted, only half-joking.

"Yes, me too," she nodded sarcastically. "Maybe we'll get lucky tomorrow and something will eat us!"

"Bears don't want to eat people," I grinned. "We don't taste that good. Of course, you might be an exception. I bet you'd taste good."

"Thanks so much," she muttered. I smiled wider at her in the dark cab, anticipating tomorrow's excursion already.

* * *

_Alright... y'all know what happens next chapter. His first transformation is going to be rough. Lots of angst to come. But I promise I'll do our boy justice as I hammer out the details._

_Thanks for sticking with Jake and I so far, and we hope you keep comin' back for more. :D_

_PS - Jakey wants you to review. Like, real bad. I mean, I wouldn't mind it either. Just sayin'._


	5. Do You Believe in Magic?

**Dear Stephenie Meyer,**

**Please sell me the rights to Jacob Black and make me eternally happy.**

**Please and thank you,**

**KimberlyCullen10**

_A/N - I'm not going to ramble quite yet. I'm just going to give you a quick apology (a more elaborate one waits for you at the end, I promise) for not updating in for-ev-er. I'M SO, SO SORRY!_

_That's all for now, except one small disclaimer..._

_Space Mountain ain't got shit on the emotional roller coaster you're about to ride. I hope you're strapped in.  


* * *

_

Time with Bella seemed to move along at record speed. Our lives together continued day after day in a routine that made me the happiest guy on the planet. We alternated between riding our motorcycles and hiking through the woods – both of which Bella was improving at, I had to admit. It was extremely gratifying to see her mastering her motorcycle and becoming engrossed in the patterns I had sketched on our map as we eliminated the lines one by one. Of course, we still had the occasional trip to the emergency room, but mostly it was my overprotective tendencies that brought us there. She rarely needed stitches anymore, and she hadn't had a concussion in over a week.

My sister Rachel called exactly two weeks after Bella and I first began searching for this elusive meadow. She and Rebecca are my nineteen-year-old twin sisters, and we have exactly the type of relationship that teenage siblings typically have – they annoy the shit out of me.

Rebecca rarely called because she was busy being a housewife down in Hawaii. I convinced myself that I only resented her because she never invited me down to visit, when in reality I simply hated that she had permanently and successfully escaped this tiny reservation life before I did.

So when I answered the phone on Saturday, February fourteenth, I had a feeling I would be on the receiving end of one of Rachel's rants. Don't ask me why, but I can always tell when it's her that's calling. I swear, the ringtone seems to have a distinctively high-pitched, annoying-as-all-hell undertone to it when she calls. It's like the phone's trying to warn me.

"Hello?"

"Jake?" I could tell just by the way she said my name that this would be an interesting conversation.

"Hi, Rach," I sighed, trying to prepare myself for whatever she was planning to say to me.

"Jacob, why are you answering the phone?" she asked, sounding legitimately confused.

"That's generally what people do when the phone rings in their own home, Rachel. They pick up the receiver and use the magic of speech to extend a greeting to the person on the other end of the line."

"God, you are _such_ a brat," she scoffed. "I'm asking because its Valentine's Day and you should be out with a nice girl, not sitting at home answering the phone. Did you even _know_ it was Valentine's Day, dear brother?"

"Yes, I did. But it's eleven o'clock in the morning, why would I be out with a girl already? And not that it's any of your business, but I _am_ spending the day with a girl and—"

"JACOB MICHAEL BLACK!" She shrieked into the phone. I cringed and held it away from my ear as she continued. "HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND?! I AM YOUR BIG SISTER! I NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS!"

"Jesus Christ, woman, quit middle-naming me and shrieking like a banshee!" I demanded, still holding the earpiece about a foot away just in case she started screaming again. "Bella's not my girlfriend! And I don't remember signing a contract that requires me to tell you every detail of my life. You live in Seattle; I'm not going to call you on a daily basis just to keep you updated."

I waited for her retort, but I was surprised when I was met with total silence on the other end.

I waited a few more seconds, and finally I pressed the phone back to my ear and said, "Rach? You there?"

Her voice was nearly a whisper. "Did you say 'Bella?' As in Bella _Swan_, Charlie's kid?"

_Shit, did I really let that slip?_

"Yes… Bella Swan," I admitted. I cringed again, waiting for her reaction.

"This is GREAT! Oh, Jake, not only do you have a girlfriend, but it's one that I already KNOW!" She enthused.

I was shocked.

"You haven't seen her in years, Rach. You can't really say you 'know her,' can you?" I cautioned. "Oh, and she's _not_ my girlfriend, since you apparently chose to ignore that when I mentioned it the first time."

"Of course I still technically _know_ her, silly. Now what are you two doing for Valentine's Day? Something cute like dinner and a movie?"

"Um… we're doing homework."

Silence again. This time, I waited it out.

"Jacob. I thought I raised you better than that," she began, and I opened my mouth to reply but was interrupted yet again. "You need to take her out! Wine and dine her. Take her to Port Angeles or something; God knows there's nothing to do around the rez. I mean, my God, did you at least _buy_ her something? Did you even _ask_ her to be your Valentine?"

_This is going to get ugly_, I realized, and I tried my best to mentally prepare myself as I began my explanation. "Well, I didn't officially ask her. Yet. And I kinda bought her something. I mean, _we're not dating_, since you didn't listen every time I've said that in the last two minutes. Bella's my best friend. She's a simple girl; not into any extravagant, meaningless crap. I thought that a simple little something would be nice… so I went to the store last night and bought her a box of Conversation hearts."

I yanked the phone away from my ear, because I knew my sister. And sure enough, she was yelling again. I rolled my eyes and stood there holding the phone. I had to let her yell and get it off her chest, but that didn't mean I actually had to listen. She just had to think I did.

A full minute passed, and through the muffled shrieking I caught phrases like "girls don't like cheap assholes" and "have you ever heard of diamonds?" while the ever-present "I thought I raised you better than that" reared its ugly head at least three times.

It was true – Rachel and Rebecca had essentially raised me after my mother died. Of course, we had Billy, but his disability made chasing after an eight-year-old quite difficult in the beginning. My sisters and I were close, but that only made it harder on me when they both left – Rachel for college at U-Dub, and Rebecca to Hawaii to elope with the man of her dreams.

I briefly wondered how my strong, silent father and my elegant, articulate mother produced such an annoying little thing like Rachel. After her rant ran its course, I pulled the phone back to my ear, repeated my "Bella and I are just friends" mantra a few more times (you know, because I just loved reiterating that fact), and finally I convinced Rachel to leave me alone. She promised to call back in a few days to check up on me, and I had a feeling she would be doing this a lot more often now that she had dragged all this information out of me. And considering that she was coming home for good in June, I knew this could get really ugly, really soon.

I hung up the phone and went outside to wait for Bella. I anticipated her arrival around noon every Saturday, and it was nearly a quarter till. It was a rare sunny day on the Olympic Peninsula, so I turned the box of Conversation hearts over and over in my hand while I leaned on the doorframe to wait.

I looked up when I heard her truck rumble to a stop in front of me. Rachel had me all nervous about this Valentine's thing, when there was really nothing to be nervous about at all. This was just a regular homework day with my Bells.

"Happy Valentine's Day," I ducked my head and smiled lightly in greeting. I held out the box of hearts in her general direction, and I could feel the blush blazing its way up my cheeks as she stared at it.

"Well, I feel like a schmuck," Bella muttered as she made a face. "Is today Valentine's Day?"

_Good_, I thought. _This really isn't a big deal, just like I thought. Take _that_, Rachel._

Still, I shook my head sadly. "You can be so out of it sometimes," I smiled as I teased her. "Yes, it is the fourteenth day of February. So are you going to be my Valentine? Since you didn't get me a fifty-cent box of candy, it's the least you can do."

"What exactly does that entail?" she asked as she narrowed her eyes.

"The usual – slave for life, that kind of thing."

She reached out and took the candy. "Oh, well, if that's all…"

I grinned at her again. "So, what are we doing tomorrow? Hiking, or the ER?"

"Hiking," she nodded. "You're not the only one who can be obsessive. I'm starting to think I imagined that place…"

"We'll find it," I promised. "Bikes Friday?"

"I'm going to a movie Friday. I've been promising my cafeteria crowd that I would go out forever."

My smile disappeared. I never had to share Bella. It was selfish of me, but it was true. I averted my gaze in hopes that she wouldn't see the disappointment in my eyes.

"You'll come too, right?" She added immediately. "Or will it be too much of a drag with a bunch of boring seniors?"

_Bella wants me to come with her? She wants me to hang around with her and her _other_ friends?_

"You'd like me to come, with your friends there?" I verbalized my inner-monologue disbelievingly.

"Yes. I'll have a lot more fun if you're there. Bring Quil, and we'll make it a party."

I looked back up into her brown eyes and chuckled. "Quil's gonna freak. Senior girls," I rolled my eyes. Neither of us acknowledged the fact that Embry's name was left out of plans that would normally include him.

"I'll try to get him a good selection," she laughed.

My week progressed through its usual routine. The only change from the norm was that Rachel called on Sunday to squeeze every detail out of me regarding Bella. I didn't give her much, but apparently it wasn't hard to tell that I had strong feelings for the girl. Rachel kept trying to convince me to be more bold and confident in my "pursuit," as she called it. In fact, she called again Monday and Wednesday to try and persuade me to take some action, no matter what I said against it. Of course, I wasn't going to tell her the story about Bella and her broken heart, so I just pretended to listen. That generally worked well enough with my sister.

Otherwise, my days consisted of school and Bella, and my nights were spent in the garage working on the Rabbit. I put the finishing touches on it Thursday night and made the easy decision to make its first drive be the distance to Bella's house the following day. I hurried into the house, practically dancing as I flailed about in excitement to tell my father that I was finished with the car, and to remind him of Bella and my movie plans the next day.

I got out of school a few minutes early on Friday, which gave me enough time to drive to Forks before Bella arrived home from school. I parked the Rabbit in her driveway, very much anticipating her reaction to my newest accomplishment in the world of automobiles.

Okay, if I was being honest, I was just anticipating seeing her in general.

She pulled into the driveway not five minutes later, and she leapt out of her truck and ran over to me.

"No way! You're done! I can't believe it! You finished the Rabbit!" She screamed as she stopped in front of me, admiring the car. I rarely ever saw her this excited, and my responding smile stretched from ear to ear.

"Just last night," I explained. "This is the maiden voyage."

"Incredible," she breathed as she held her hand up for a high five. I smacked her hand and subsequently laced my fingers through hers, still holding it in the air.

I had recently taken the liberty of holding her hand whenever the opportunity presented itself. This was just another one of those times. I smiled impossibly wider at her touch.

"So do I get to drive tonight?" I asked hopefully, knowing she would never deny me this simple request.

"Definitely," she nodded, and then she sighed dramatically.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm giving up – I can't top this one. So you win. You're oldest."

I pursed my lips and shrugged nonchalantly. "Of course I am."

Bella turned her head down the road, and I noticed a Suburban driving down the street in our direction. I assumed that this was Mike just as she pulled her fingers away from mine, and I made a face in regards to both of these things.

Mike parked across the street, and I snickered inwardly at the fact that he didn't even consider parking in the driveway. _Damn straight he didn't_.

"I remember this guy," I whispered to Bella as Mike crossed the road. "The one who thought you were his girlfriend. Is he still confused?"

I cracked my knuckles. She turned to glare up at me, one eyebrow raised.

"Some people are hard to discourage."

I cocked an eyebrow back at her.

"Then again, sometimes persistence pays off."

_God help Rachel if this backfires._

"Most of the time it's just annoying though."

Well, I was never a quitter anyway. I was just about to tell her so when Mike interrupted us.

"Hey Bella," Mike greeted her. His head slowly craned upward to look me in the eye. The pipsqueak didn't even reach my shoulder.

_This is going to be fun._

"Hey, Mike!" Bella replied overenthusiastically. She had clearly taken account of the look Mike was giving me. She tried to remedy the already sketchy situation by adding (again, with more enthusiasm than necessary), "Do you remember Jacob Black?"

"Not really," Mike shrugged as he held out his hand. _Liar_.

For the record, I've been told that I'm quite memorable. Take that as you will.

"Old family friend," I reminded him as I grasped his hand and squeezed it much harder than necessary. When he pulled away, he flexed his fingers. I grinned.

_Fun, fun, fun_.

The phone rang from inside the house, and Bella ran to get it, mumbling something about Charlie as she went.

I looked down at Mike from my extravagant height and resisted the urge to ask him what the weather was like all the way down there. He stepped away from me, toward the street.

I wasn't one for silence, so…

"Aren't you the dude who wants to date Bella?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Um, wait… what?" Mike sputtered.

"A little birdie told me you have feelings for Bella. I was just doing the right thing by asking you. I'm not one to talk behind anyone's back, after all…"

"Dude, what the—"

"So you're not Bella's boyfriend?" I challenged before he could get anything legitimate out of his mouth.

"Well… no."

"But you'd like to be."

"I mean…"

"You're not though." It was no longer a question, but a statement. I smiled politely.

"No, I'm not," he finally admitted.

"Alrighty!" I said cheerfully. "Just checking."

I smirked as Bella walked back out the front door. Mike had turned to face away from me with a purely malevolent look on his face.

_Yes, hello? Jake? This is the rational part of your brain speaking. You're not exactly her boyfriend either, you know._

_But she spends all of her time with me. And she likes it._

_Plus she _has_ to know how I feel about her. And she probably feels something back, even if she doesn't realize it yet._

_Yeah! Take _that_, rationality_.

I was still smiling as Bella approached us and pulled me out of my own head.

"Ang is sick," Bella explained. "She and Ben aren't coming."

"I guess the flu is making another round," Mike said. "Austin and Connor were out today, too. Maybe we should do this another time."

"I'm still up for it," I offered as Bella was opening her mouth to reply. "But if you'd rather stay behind, Mike—"

"No, I'm coming," he added quickly. "I was just thinking of Angela and Ben. Let's go." He spun on his heel and headed toward his Suburban.

Since Bella already promised I could drive, I anticipated this next part:

"Hey, do you mind if Jacob drives? I told him he could – he just finished his car. Be built it from scratch, all by himself."

_Well, that was more than I had hoped for, but a little bragging does wonders for the ego_, I thought smugly. Bella beamed up at me and I returned the gesture, momentarily dumbstruck by her gorgeous features. I blinked rapidly and stopped myself from delving into another internal monologue about her beautiful eyes just as Mike made a disgusted sound to my left. It sounded like a cat choking up a hairball.

"Fine." He clenched his jaw and stalked in the direction of the Rabbit.

"All right then," I opened the passenger's side door for Mike's dumbass and thoroughly enjoyed watching him climb into the backseat. I held it open for Bella, whose smile continued to dazzle me as she climbed in and I shut the door for her.

The ride to the movies was all but silent, as was normal when I was around Bella. Perhaps I'm just talkative when I'm around anyone that will listen… but I was always more talkative around Bella. Mike didn't say a word for more than half the ride, and one glance in the rearview mirror confirmed my suspicions that he was still sulking after our brief exchange in the driveway.

_Sucker_.

Suddenly, he piped up, interrupting me mid-sentence. "Doesn't the radio work in this thing?"

Out of my peripheral vision, I saw that he was now leaning his chin on Bella's seat, trying to be close to her. I suppressed my immediate instinct, which was to backhand him.

"Yes," I answered patiently, "but Bella doesn't like music."

Her head whipped around to stare at me. I didn't elaborate; it was just something I had noticed during all of our time together.

"Bella?" Mike demanded, obviously determined for her to prove me wrong.

I almost smiled, but I wanted to wait for her response first.

"He's right." She was still looking at me, apparently in awe of something.

Well, of course I was right.

I smiled confidently to myself, hoping he would see. I was sure he did.

"How can you not like music?" Mike asked rudely. My hand actually twitched off the steering wheel this time, but I replaced it quickly. I was finding it increasingly hard to keep it there instead of letting it do what it wanted – which was to meet Mike's nose with a swift and satisfying _crack_.

Bella shrugged, noticing neither his insolent remark nor my hand's brief vacation from the wheel. "I don't know. It just irritates me."

Mike gave in with a single, "Hmph." He slumped back into his seat and into the viewing range of my mirror. I winked at him.

We arrived at the theater shortly after Mike's petulant, childish fit. I handed Bella my ten-dollar bill, explaining to her that I wasn't old enough to get into this particular movie.

"So much for relative ages," she laughed loudly. I made a face at her, teasing, as she continued. "Is Billy going to kill me if I sneak you in?"

"No. I told him you were planning to corrupt my youthful innocence."

She laughed again as Mike doubled his steps to catch up. Funny, Bella had no problem keeping up with my strides. And, as always, I made sure she didn't trip over absolutely nothing as she did so.

We got into the theater and Bella sat between Mike and I. I wanted to hold her hand as I usually did, but I knew that here in the dark movie theater, Mike would make assumptions I didn't think he had the right to make. I couldn't lie to myself, though; it would be tempting to show him that she would have let me do it. _If_ she would even let me. So I resolved to leave it up to her, positioning my hand suggestively palm-up on the armrest we shared. Bella crossed her arms over her chest, and I noticed that Mike had quickly copied my hand placement. _Ass_.

Billy's eight bucks were not put to good use. During the opening credits alone, five people were killed off in various ways – beheading, bombs going off, and even a watermelon exploded, killing an innocent fruit-stand employee. Yes, an exploding watermelon. What had I signed up for?

I had subdued my laughter for what seemed like an eternity, but when I looked at my watch I realized it had only been thirty minutes. When I glanced back up at the screen, I burst out laughing at what I had just witnessed.

"What?" Bella whispered.

"Oh, c'mon!" I whispered back between bouts of laughter. "The blood squirted twenty feet out of that guy. How fake can you get?"

After I pointed this out, she began laughing along with me. I had just begun to think I might actually enjoy this shitshow in spite of the fact that it was actually meant to be serious… and then Mike groaned and leaned forward in his seat.

"Mike, are you okay?" Bella leaned towards him, away from me. I bit my tongue and refused to look at him.

_Who's the petulant child _now_?_

I didn't understand how my own inner voice could be against me sometimes.

"No. I think I'm sick," Mike admitted, rather breathlessly. I leaned forward as I finally decided to acknowledge his presence. I noticed that he was actually sweating. Loser couldn't even handle a little movie-blood.

He moaned again, and immediately shot out of his seat and ran toward the door. Bella followed closely, and I was right on her heels.

"No, stay," she hissed. "I'll make sure he's okay."

I rolled my eyes and never broke my stride beside her. As if I was going to stick around this theater watching this sad excuse for a movie when I could catch a _real_ show – Mike puking his guts out.

I walked out of the theater and directed Bella towards the lobby. It was so quiet in the hallway that you could hear a pin drop. I ducked into the bathroom, simply to appease Bella, and sure enough I caught what I assumed to be the chorus – _possibly the second verse?_ – of Mike's rendition of "I Can't Handle Scary Movies" as it hit the toilet.

If this didn't effectively ruin whatever game he thought he was playing with Bella, I didn't know what would. He could pull the sympathy card, but I was pretty sure that after the encore he would leave his dignity in the toilet bowl, along with the remnants of anything he'd eaten today. No, he wouldn't try anything else tonight.

I walked back out the bathroom door and into the lobby. Bella was standing there waiting as I ambled over to sit on the ugly, velveteen bench that was positioned against the wall.

"Oh, he's in there, all right," I answered her questioning eyes. "What a marshmallow. You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach." I thought about this for a second before adding, "Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit."

"I'll keep my eyes open for someone like that."

"He sounded like he was going to be in there for a while," I informed her as I extended legs out in front of me, settling in for a long one. I patted the space beside me, and she sat down.

As soon as she did so, I put my arm around her. Well, I said I was going to be bolder, didn't I? …Wait, that wasn't me, that was my stupid sister. Damn her for leaking into my subconscious like that.

_Note to self: Never admit to Rachel that you took her advice. Ever._

"Jake…" Bella began, leaning away. I dropped my arm and instead took her small, perpetually-cold hand and enveloped it in my own. She tugged, trying to pull away, which was new. But I didn't mind. If she conceded too easily, I would have been surprised.

I was prepared to do be persistent.

"Now, just hold on a minute, Bella. Tell me something."

She grimaced, and I almost laughed. It was like she had acquired some sort of freakish superpower that enabled her to read my mind. _God forbid_, I added internally, as she muttered a quick, "What?"

"You like me, right?" I asked simply.

"You know I do," was her answer.

"Better than that joker puking his guts out in there?" I gestured towards the bathroom with a nod of my head.

"Yes," she breathed, looking a little exasperated. I bit back a laugh again and continued my interrogation calmly.

"Better than any of the other guys you know?"

"Better than the girls, too."

"But that's all," I stated, and just like Mike before her, it wasn't a question.

Just because I hoped for something different in the future didn't mean I wasn't realistic about the present.

I gave her a big smile. "That's okay, you know. As long as you like me the best. _And_ you think I'm good-looking – sort of. I'm prepared to be annoyingly persistent."

"I'm not going to change," she said quietly, and her voice shook as she admitted it. That softened me instantly, and I tightened my hold on her, trying to keep her together as I often did.

"It's still the other one, isn't it?" I asked, not sure if I was going too far. But I knew my Bells, and she would put me in my place if I had.

She twitched a little bit, and I was reminded of my hand in the car. An overwhelming emotion – even if, in her case, it wasn't anger. No, the look on her face was not an angry one.

The look on her face broke my heart.

"You don't have to talk about it," I amended quickly.

She nodded.

"But don't get mad at me for hanging around, okay?" I said softly as I patted the back of her hand soothingly. "Because I'm not giving up. I've got loads of time."

"You shouldn't waste it on me," Bella whispered sadly, almost soft enough that I couldn't hear her. I rubbed my thumb across the hand I held.

"It's what I want to do, as long as you still like to be with me."

I could never leave her. All I saw was her, in _every_ girl, _everywhere_ I went.

I was silently glad that she didn't know this, because surely she would stop hanging around with me if she knew the extent of my feelings. But, hell, did _I_ even know the extent of my feelings for her?

She sat next to me, a thoughtful look upon her pretty face, and finally she spoke. "I can't imagine how I could _not_ like being with you."

I grinned. "I can live with that."

I could, and I would.

"Just don't expect more," she clarified, and she tried to pull her hand away from mine again.

It wasn't even a good try.

"This doesn't really bother you, does it?" I asked.

"No," she allowed. She relaxed her hand inside of mine and leaned back against the bench.

"And you don't care what _he_ thinks." I gestured toward the bathroom again.

"I guess not."

"So what's the problem?"

"The problem is that it means something different to me than it does to you."

"Well," I squeezed her hand, "that's _my_ problem, isn't it?"

"Fine. Don't forget it though."

"I won't," I promised as I squeezed her fingers again happily. "The pin's outta the grenade for me, now, eh?" I nudged her side with my arm and she rolled her eyes again.

I laughed at my own joke for a few more minutes as I traced random patterns on her chalky skin. It really was ridiculous that a living human being could even be as pale as she was, and I began examining the difference in skintone between us again, as I had done the first day we rode our bikes together.

Something caught my eye.

"That's a funny scar you've got there." I flipped her hand over to get a closer look. "How did that happen?"

My free hand traced a crescent moon shape back and forth along the slightly raised edges of this odd mark.

"Do you honestly expect me to remember where all my scars came from?" She snapped. I would have laughed, but I was still trying to figure out just how the color of the scar could possibly be even paler than her skin – the reason I had noticed it in the first place.

"It's cold," I muttered as I applied a bit more pressure to this oddly shaped, chilled blemish on her skin.

Before she could spit another sarcastic remark at me about her clumsy tendencies, Mike stumbled out of the bathroom. He was actually paler than Bella, which was quite a feat.

"Oh, Mike," she breathed, and I remembered the sympathy card he could play. _Bastard better not even think—_

"Do you mind leaving early?" He gasped. I bit my lip again to keep from sniggering.

"No, of course," Bella nodded as she pulled free from my grasp and walked over to him in order to keep him steady.

I couldn't help myself.

"Movie too much for you?"

He appeared to have mustered up all the energy he hadn't expended while vomiting to give me the most malicious look I'd ever received.

I shrugged and smiled.

"I didn't actually see any of it. I was nauseated before the lights went down."

"Why didn't you say something?" Bella chided as she helped him towards the exit.

"I was hoping it would pass," he muttered pathetically.

I made sure to grab a giant popcorn bucket from the girl behind the concession counter just in case he got sick again. I had never seen a human being turn that shade of green as quickly as he had in the theater, so I figured it was a safe bet to make that he would toss his cookies another time or two on the ride home.

I helped Bella get Mike into the backseat, and I handed him the bucket.

"Please," I said seriously.

We rolled the windows down for the drive home. I felt that it was a particularly mild night for February, so I was surprised when Bella began shivering.

"Cold again?" I asked, putting my arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. She curled up against my side.

"You're not?" She asked me incredulously. I shook my head.

"You must have a fever or something," she mumbled as she laid her right hand against my forehead to check my temperature.

"Whoa, Jake – you're burning up!"

"I feel fine. Fit as a fiddle," I shrugged. "Your hands are like ice."

"Maybe it's me," she admitted.

Mike threw up for the majority of the ride, and every time I heard a new wave come on I checked my rearview mirror anxiously.

_Fucker will _pay_ if he got anything on my new seats._

It was silent on the way back, except for the sounds of Mike vomiting. Bella drove him back to his house in his Suburban, and I followed behind her in the Rabbit so I could take her home again.

On the way back to Bella's, I began to feel a bit odd. I wasn't dizzy, per se… just a bit disoriented; my skin seemed to be crawling and my heartbeat thundered in my ears. So I was silent again, deciding that maybe I caught whatever the pipsqueak had.

I pulled into Bella's driveway and turned to face her. "I would invite myself in, since we're early, but I think you might be right about the fever. I'm starting to feel a little… strange."

"Oh no, not you too! Do you want me to drive you home?"

"No," I shook my head, partially denying her request and partially attempting to clear my head. "I don't feel sick yet. Just… wrong. If I have to, I'll pull over."

"Will you call me as soon as you get in?"

"Sure, sure." I bit my lip and shook my head infinitesimally again, trying in vain to shake this unfamiliar feeling.

She looked concerned as she turned to step out of the Rabbit, but I grabbed her wrist just as she was about to shut the door. I had to tell her something before she left. It was important.

"What is it, Jake?"

"There's something I want to tell you, Bella… but I think it's going to sound kind of corny."

"Go ahead," she sighed, and I knew she thought I was going to try to persuade her to be something we weren't.

"It's just that, I know you're unhappy a lot. And, maybe it doesn't help anything, but I wanted you to know that I'm always here. I won't ever let you down – I promise that you can always count on me," I vowed with a small smile. "Wow, that does sound corny. But you know that, right? That I would never, ever hurt you?"

"Yeah, Jake. I know that. And I already do count on you, probably more than you know," she admitted, which generated the biggest smile of the night from me. And I had been smiling a _lot_ that night.

Simultaneously, I felt mildly dizzy and a shiver crawled its way down my spine. "I really think I'd better go home now."

"Call me!" I barely heard her plea as I took off in the direction of La Push.

Something was not right, and it was becoming increasingly worse as the seconds ticked by.

My skin felt tingly, as if the blood was racing through my veins so fast that it created ripples on my skin. I realized that I was trembling ever so slightly as I gripped the steering wheel. My ears were no longer filled with the pounding of my heartbeat, but with sounds that I could swear were coming from miles in every direction, becoming more amplified for a few seconds before returning to their normal pitch; it was like a radio going in and out of signal range. I considered pulling over more than once as my head began to spin and my hands trembled even more violently, but I was only minutes from my house and I needed to make it home.

I staggered into the living room and leaned against the back of the couch for support. Billy was sitting in his chair, facing the television. He turned to look at me, and concern etched itself immediately into the deep lines of his face. It was blatantly obvious that something was wrong; the symptoms I felt on the ride home had now intensified tenfold, and now I was beginning to get a headache.

No, not an ache – a burn. My head was _burning_.

"Dad… is it… _hot_… in here?" I panted, unable to catch my breath. He rolled his wheelchair closer to me and reached out a hand hesitantly, as if he was unsure how to help.

"Jake, you look… weird. You feeling okay?"

In that instant, all the feelings I had bottled up towards my father came crashing down on me in a rush of pure madness.

_After all this time, he wants to know if I'm okay? After I've been begging for weeks to get some information out of him – all those questions about my best friend, about Embry! And Sam… Sam fucking Uley! My father knows. My. Father. Knows._

My temper was white-hot as I felt the temperature in my head reach its peak, blazing hotter than I could even comprehend. I shuddered and shook my head back and forth maniacally as my vision shifted in and out of focus.

_Jesus Christ, what is happening to me?!_

I couldn't speak as my head continued to spin and the ground shook underneath me. I gripped the back of the couch again to stabilize myself from this earthquake, but the couch began to shake too. Then it hit me.

_I_ was vibrating. Not the earth. It was _me_.

I barely noticed that Billy had wheeled backward to the kitchen counter and was now dialing the phone, all the while staring at me warily.

Through my echoing ears, I heard him speak.

"Yes, hello! Sam, you need to get here—"

_SAM ULEY_.

It was as if everything had been building and building until it reached a breaking point – and I was breaking along with it. The fire in my head blazed a blistering trail down my spine and through my veins until I could actually feel my internal temperature skyrocket. I squeezed my eyes shut in an effort to quell the pain in my head, but it was no use. My heartbeat was faster than a hummingbird's, and I was now gasping for air. It was obviously trying to fulfill a lifetime's beats before the end… because this had to be it. I had to be dying.

I collapsed to my knees and began to scream.

My entire being was ripped apart – I was twisting and writhing on the ground in complete and utter agony.

Bending, contorting, breaking… and miraculously healing. But I was mending in an unfamiliar, terrifying way, into a foreign shape that was not my own.

I still had no words, so I continued to scream at the top of my lungs until my own voice was choked off into a peculiar sound, and some small place in the back of my aching head recognized the noise as the same one that sounded from my plastic wolf alarm clock every morning.

I was _howling_?!

One last unbearable blaze of heat surged through me and then it was gone; my normal temperature had returned. I opened my eyes and found that I was now standing in front of my father, who was wide-eyed and slack-jawed, rendered utterly speechless.

Then I noticed I was standing in front of my father on _four_ _legs_. Four furry legs. My brain, which was in shock, numbly told my vocal chords to cut the noise at the same time I realized that my tongue was hanging out of my mouth, over a row of razor-sharp teeth.

For the first time in my life, I was at a loss for words.

I could not speak.

I could not think.

_!!!_

My head whipped back and forth, around and around, taking in every bit of information I could, all the while not forming a single lucid thought. I noted that I had dark, russet-colored fur. I could smell exactly what Billy had ordered for dinner, probably four hours earlier – pepperoni pizza with extra spicy sauce. I could hear the cars speeding down the one-oh-one; that was miles away. I could hear…

I could hear voices.

My mind was still racing in its incoherent state as I attempted to focus in on the voices.

I thought at first that Billy was calling my name, but when I glanced down at him he was still gaping at me with his hands raised in a silent defense, though his mouth was closed and his eyes were filled with wonder. The voices were still speaking, and I tried desperately to separate them individually so I could understand them clearly, but my mind was so jumbled; I was so confused…

_Jacob, calm down now. You're fine._

This first voice was a strange, echoing double-timbre that my jumbled mind recognized as authoritative. I immediately began to breathe deeply and stop trembling, which I hadn't even realized I was doing.

_You're alright, Jake. You're not crazy._

_Jake, don't do anything sudden._

_No worries, buddy; we'll be there in two seconds._

My first intelligible thought registered as I recognized the last voice:

_EMBRY?!_

I was again rendered speechless.

_Yeah, Jake, it's me. Just hold tight, you're fine. I promise. We're on our way._

Oh, good. My long-lost best friend had begun answering my thoughts at the same time I had morphed into a giant, hairy animal.

I decided that this must be a dream… or I'd officially gone batshit crazy.

I continued to listen to them calm me down and explain what the fuck was going on. I caught things like "the wolf legends are true" and "your mind is still your own" as I tried to place the voices. All were familiar, but it took my muddled consciousness what seemed like an eternity to sort through them.

I finally settled on Sam, Paul, and Jared, in addition to Embry.

Why, oh why, was Sam Uley _always_ involved?

And what the hell were these people doing in my brain? Surely my subconscious could come up with better people to play the Voices Inside My Head.

Right now, however, I was just trying to be content with the fact that I had something to focus on other than my physical state, which was still in question. I had no idea what the hell I _was_, and again my body began trembling with anxiety at the thought.

Wait, hadn't I just heard myself howling? Didn't someone… _Jared_… mention something about the wolf legends?

_I am a werewolf?!_

My mind hurried to catch up with itself as I tried to put the pieces together, and my ears cocked to the side just as the phone began to ring.

Billy and I stared at each other silently. I looked down at the phone on his lap and remembered whom he had called. _Sam_.

I growled.

_Jacob, do not move._

Sam. Sam was in my head, with that two-toned voice. Again.

My legs straightened as he spoke, and I was frozen on the spot.

I whimpered. _This is all too much, just too much…_

Billy picked up the phone and pressed the green button on the eighth ring.

"Hello?" He asked.

"_Billy, it's me, Bella."_ My new, apparently supersonic hearing caught the muffled voice of my brown-eyed girl through the phone receiver. I whimpered again pathetically. _"Did Jake make it home yet?"_

"He's here," my father replied tonelessly, never taking his eyes off me.

"_He was supposed to call me. He was getting sick when he left, and I was worried."_

"He was… too sick to call. He's not feeling well right now."

"_Let me know if you need any help. I could come down."_

I shook my head fervently. But Billy was smart; of course he wouldn't let her come here.

"No, no," he answered almost immediately, nearly cutting her off. "We're fine. Stay at your place."

"_Okay_," she agreed.

"Bye, Bella." He hung up without waiting for another response.

My ears twitched towards the window before I even registered the sound my body was reacting to. My head followed suit and I was shocked as I spotted the source of the noise.

Four horse-sized wolves were galloping towards the house. The largest one was black, and it was flanked on either side by one silver wolf and one deep brown wolf. A smaller, spotted grey wolf brought up the rear.

And this was not the first time I had seen them.

Images flooded back into my head from the dream I'd forgotten about entirely since a few weeks prior to tonight. There, in the forest, stood Sam and the exact same wolves that were standing in my front yard right this second. But instead of Sam this time, a giant black wolf stood in the middle of the others.

The dream was coming back to me in high-definition until a voice interrupted.

_You dream about me? Sick, dude._

_What? Embry again? How does he know I was thinking about my dream?_

_Jake, stop thinking about me like I'm not right here. _Embry sounded mildly amused as he continued._ I can hear your thoughts; I can see your thoughts. You've just been so absorbed in your own thoughts that you can't see any of ours at the moment. Cool how that works, isn't it?_

_Wait, so we are talking right now? Having a conversation?_

_Yeah, dude! See, we're wolves, right? And so everything—_

Sam's stern voice interrupted._ Embry. Stop it. He needs a formal explanation. And we need to get him away from Billy. Come outside, Jake._

Through the confusion that still wracked my head, my brain registered the echoing effect of Sam's voice as he told me to come outside, and I did just that – My enormous body turned itself around to face the door and lumbered five steps forward until I was just outside the doorframe and on my front lawn.

"Thank you, Sam," my father's voice sounded from the doorway behind me in a calm, collected manner. The great black wolf nodded once and turned its attention back to me as I heard my father shut the door.

_Now, Jacob, you need to be told the truth_. _I am about to give you the answers you have been looking for,_ Sam said, still maintaining his position a few feet in front of me. I noticed that I was only slightly shorter than he was, while I literally towered over the other three_. This is what I am, why I'm so protective over you. _I inwardly blanched at the word 'protective,' but let him continue._ This is what you are, what Embry is, what Jared and Paul are. The legends of Taha Aki and his descendents are true – and you are a direct descendant, Jake; it was only a matter of time until you joined us. It was a waiting game for all of us, including your father, which is why it seems we're always watching you. Members from both sides of your family were part of the last wolfpack that existed – Ephriam Black and Quil Ateara. My great grandfather, Levi Uley, was the third member of the pack._

And so we stood in my front yard, five oversized wolves, as Sam gave me the Cliff's Notes version of our legendary wolfpack. The extended version, as it turned out, was only told by Billy during tribal meetings – meetings I would now be required to attend. Really, this all was nothing I hadn't heard before… I just never took it seriously. They were silly legends to me, and my mind flitted often to the time on the beach with Bella when I first told her so.

"Do you like scary stories?" I had asked her ominously.

"I love them," she'd gushed as she batted her eyelashes at me.

Bella. It always came back to Bella. Her beautiful brown eyes, her full lips…

_Jake. Quit it, dude._ Embry mentally winced. _You're grossing me out. Bella's hot, but I'd rather not picture you—_

_That's another thing we need to talk to you about, _Jared interrupted, speaking for the first time since they arrived. _You can't tell Bella, Jake._

_What do you—_

_No, Jared's right, _Sam nodded sternly. _You need to stay away from Bella, and you cannot tell her what we are. It's too dangerous. You may think you have control over yourself, but just when you do, your wolf will prove you wrong._

Suddenly I was consumed with such sorrow that I literally struggled to remain on my feet under the weight of such an intense emotion. Flashes of a beautiful Native American girl flickered in my head I watched dimly through unfamiliar eyes as a set of black claws waved wildly. She screamed as the talons caught the side of her face and dug into the flesh near her right eye, dragging down towards the corner of her mouth and ripping away, leaving deep, red wounds in their absence.

The images went black and my thoughts were my own again, but I knew I would never forget what I saw. I gasped as Sam staggered back a single step before regaining composure.

After a few moments, Paul spoke. _Stay away from Bella_.

I nodded vigorously, though I knew they could feel my despair at even the thought hurting her.

The eastern sky was beginning to blush pinks and reds, and I was still left with what felt like an endless amount of questions.

_We have all day to explain everything, _Embry reasoned. _I see you want to figure out how to phase back?_

This mind-reading stuff was really freaking me out.

_You need to be calm in order to phase back, _Jared explained. _Completely calm down and concentrate._

Sam's voice sounded in my head next. _Now that you have actually phased for the first time, your human body will be altered as well. Your "growth spurt" was just your body anticipating this change. You will be exceptionally stronger in general, and you must be aware of this at all times, or else you could hurt yourself and others._

_Yeah, you could even tear the steering wheel right off your Toyota! _Embry snorted and let out a barking laugh, but Paul whipped around and snapped his teeth at Embry.

_Paul, settle down,_ Sam commanded in his echoing, layered voice.

_Sam, how do you do that? That layered-voice thing?_

_I'm the Alpha of the pack, the leader, _Sam answered. _If I give an order, it must be followed. I had to use it a lot tonight, to make sure you were safe and didn't harm Billy. But I try not to abuse it often._

I suppose that made sense… my body automatically followed his order every time it was given in the double-timbre voice.

_So, Jake… just stay calm. As calm as you can be, _Embry encouraged.

_Concentrate, _Jared reminded me. _Remember, it may feel weird at first, but you _will_ be all right._

Paul said nothing, but mentally gave me his go-ahead.

_Alright, um… I'll think happy thoughts to keep calm._

_Kind of like Peter Pan, except that was he used them to fly!_

_Shut up, Embry._

He smiled. _Aren't you glad to have me back?_

_Yes. I'm very glad._

I used the thought of having my best friend back, coupled with random visions of Bella laughing, in order to sufficiently steady my heart rate. Once I felt comfortable, I concentrated very hard on becoming human again.

Slowly, the heat crept back through my body – down my back and through each limb. I concentrated impossibly harder as I felt my body hum and my blood begin to rush through my veins.

Moments passed and the sensations increased. I focused harder and harder on becoming human again, and suddenly it happened.

My fur seemed to grow backward into my body and I watched my hands soften, claws disappear, as I stood upright on my hind legs.

And suddenly, I was standing in front of my four wolfy friends, completely human.

And completely freaking _naked_.

My arms whipped down to cover myself as Embry, Paul, Jared, and even Sam barked laughs at me. All four of them trotted over to the cover of the trees and returned within seconds, dressed in black cutoff sweatpants.

Meanwhile, I still stood there in my birthday suit.

_Well this is not at _all_ embarrassing…_

"What, did you think your clothes popped in and out of existence with the rest of you? Dude, you should see the look on your _face_ right now!" Embry was now gasping for air between heaving laughter.

"Someone could have warned me!" I exclaimed angrily, and I noticed that my voice was really gravelly.

"What fun would that have been?" Jared smirked.

When I turned to enter the house, I grabbed the nearest object – a potted plant, no less – and covered my ass with it using my right hand. My left hand was still covering my front… just barely.

I don't want to brag, but…

"Jake, those withered little flower remains are bigger than you!" Embry yelled to me as I slammed the door.

"SHUT the fuck UP!" I hollered back as I sprinted to my room, barely noticing my father, who was sitting in his wheelchair near the couch.

The sun shone through my bedroom windows as I threw on a pair of red plaid boxers and grey sweatpants. As I bent my legs to fit them into my pants, I noticed for the first time that I was actually sore. My muscles, my bones, my _everything_.

I collapsed onto my bed as I let the weight of everything sink in. I thought back to the things I had learned tonight, and the things I still had yet to learn. But one thing stuck out in my mind much more prominently than all the rest…

I wasn't allowed to see Bella.

_For how long?_ I wondered. Surely I could get this under control soon enough. It had to get easier each time I phased… there was no way I would lose control like Sam had done to the girl in his head.

Before I could let my mind wander much further, my bedroom door opened and in the hallway stood the boys. My wolfpack.

"Knock much?" I rasped.

Sam ignored me. "Jake, we just want to make one thing perfectly clear before we leave – you do need to rest for a while. We have a lot to discuss today."

"What is it, Sam?"

"You _must not_ see Bella. You _must not_ tell Bella _anything_. Do you understand?"

"I really think she would—"

"Jake… no," Embry shook his head sadly. I averted my eyes, choosing to stare down at my hands instead.

"We were in your head tonight. We can see how much you care about her," Jared admitted. "She is woven into virtually every thought that goes through your head, in some way or another."

"You cannot be near her. The end." Sam's voice rang with finality, even though it lost its physical authority in his human form.

"Fine."

They turned and walked away, down the hall. My peripherals noticed that one person remained, and I glanced up to see Embry staring at me.

"I missed you, man," he confessed.

"I know, I missed you too. This is some shit, huh?"

"Yeah… we'll teach you all you need to know later today. Hell, I'm still learning, so we can go through it together. For now, though, Sam's right – you need to get some rest."

"Alright," I nodded.

"And Jake…?"

"Hmm?" I looked up to see him peeking back around the corner of my doorway.

"Seriously… no more Bella, dude."

I nodded again, and he walked away with one final apologetic look in my direction.

His words rang inside my head from ear to ear, bouncing back and forth as if to taunt me.

_No more Bella._

_No more Bella._

_No more Bella._

I shifted and sprawled out, face-planting into my mattress. Of all the ridiculous things that happened to me tonight, how on earth did that seem to be the worst? I was a teenage wolf, for God's sake, and my world felt like it was turning upside-down because of a girl.

My Bells. My brown-eyed girl.

A single tear escaped my eye and I hurried to wipe it away.

I lay there wallowing in my misery for a few minutes before I heard the phone ring.

Billy noiselessly wheeled into my room, placed the phone on my bed, and wheeled out. So I picked it up.

"Hello?" My voice cracked as I spoke.

"Oh, Jake, you sound horrible," Bella groaned sympathetically.

God, it was good to hear her voice.

"I feel horrible," I told her truthfully.

"I'm so sorry I made you go out with me. This sucks," she apologized. I was confused – what did she have to be sorry about?

"I'm glad I went," I said hoarsely. "Don't blame yourself. This isn't your fault."

She had no idea.

"You'll get better soon," she went on. "I'm already feeling better."

"You were sick?"

"Yes, I got it, too. But I'm fine now."

Oh. She thought I had what that stupid Newton boy had.

"That's good," I whispered. I didn't want her to be sick.

"So you'll probably be better in a few hours," she heartened.

"I don't think I have the same thing you did," I whispered, tears threatening to spill over again.

"Don't you have the stomach flu?"

"No. This is something else."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Everything," I mumbled honestly. "Every part of me hurts."

"What can I do, Jake?" She asked, immediately going into caretaker mode. This made me smile a bit. "What can I bring you?"

_Oh shit._

"Nothing. You can't come here," I spat abruptly.

"I've already been exposed to whatever you have." I knew she thought she was making a valid point, but she couldn't know how very wrong she was.

She never _would_ know, either.

My heart was breaking.

"I'll call you when I can," I resolved, not knowing if I ever actually could. "I'll let you know when you can come down again."

God, I hoped it would be soon.

"Jacob—"

"I've got to go," I cut in, wondering if getting any more upset over her would make me turn into a goddamn animal again.

"Call me when you feel better," she amended.

"Right," I groaned, hoping she didn't catch the bitter way my hoarse voice illustrated my feelings on the subject.

There was silence. I didn't want to hang up. Who knew when I would even get to talk to her again?

"I'll see you soon," she said softly.

_Crack_. I felt the pain in my chest as my heart protested her goodbye.

"Wait for me to call," I managed to whisper.

"Okay… Bye, Jacob."

"Bella," I mumbled, and I pressed the END button with my thumb.

I wouldn't be able to see her again. Not now, not soon, possibly not ever again.

That simple realization was all it took. Wracking sobs took over my body as I cried into my comforter like a little girl. I remembered the promise I made her before she got out of my car for the last time.

I had promised not to hurt her. And now she would lose her best friend, just like she lost so much all those months before.

_No more Bella, because I am a goddamn werewolf._

_No. More. Bella._

I continued my waterworks until I heard an audible _snap_. I lifted my face out of the mattress and looked at my hand, the apparent source of the noise.

In it were the remains of the telephone that I had been holding since my conversation with Bella. But instead of the whole phone, it was splintered pieces with wires sticking out and buttons hanging off.

I had crushed the phone. With my new, superhuman strength, I had smashed our phone to pieces. Perfect.

I groaned and returned my face to its tear-soaked indentation in the bed.

Fuck. My. Life.

* * *

_So there you have it - Jake's first transformation, plus a whole lotta other stuff to go along with it. I tried to make up for the lack of updates by making this chapter extra long._

_(Okay, that's sort of a lie. Jake just wouldn't shut up!)_

_Anyway, I really am sorry for taking forever with this update. Real life beat the shit out of me these past few weeks, and I was barely ever at home let alone relaxed enough to be able to write anything. I want to thank a few of my wonderful friends for being such a support system for me, even when I was shamefully neglecting them..._

_**AHelm**__: You are the best. Thank you for keeping me sane - or insane, if the occasion called for it. I love you bunches. The end. :)_

_**MPants**__: Thanks for always being on "the boat" whenever I needed anything at all. I'd be lost without you!_

_**Little Miss Whitlock**__: You deserve about a million VFP's - from Jackson himself (or a hair tug from Jerad). Loves you soo very much!_

_**SorceressCirce**__: Thanks for helping me outta my JakeCorner when I was rather stuck. I threw a "batshit crazy" in there just for you. ;)_

_I love you all more than you know. You guys are so incredibly MoW!_

_And to all my readers and reviewers... y'all are seriously amazing. Thank you for all your positive comments - you guys keep me going!_

_So __**please review**__ and let me know your thoughts! This chapter was rather rough to get out and, good or bad, I'd love to know what you think. Thanks, guys! :)_


	6. WOLF101: Hello, Eternity of Emo Crap

**Things that belong to me include a college degree (freaking finally), an unhealthy amount of knowledge regarding the Quileute werewolves (I could write an encyclopedia), and a tiny green iPod. Notice I didn't mention Jacob Black or any other character in the Twilight universe. *sighs* I wish.**

_A/N – Nobody wants to hear me ramble now, right? I didn't think so. ;) Longest chapter EVER for your patience! _

_See ya at the bottom (and it's a looong way down)._

* * *

_Tap, tap. Tap, tap._

I felt a steady thumping through the fabric on my shin as I struggled to break into consciousness. Hell, I hadn't even realized I had gone unconscious in the first place.

_Tap, tap. Tap, tap._

This foreign beat on my leg finally won over my deep sleep, and before I knew what was happening I was on my feet, standing next to my bed in an instinctively defensive crouch.

As my eyes adjusted to the dark room – much quicker than I could ever remember them adjusting – I realized that I was also staring at a shirtless Embry.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing here? Why are you half naked? What time is it?" I asked, noticing absently that my voice was no longer gravelly. I once again noted the darkness that enveloped my room, so I glanced at the clock, which declared in neon numbers that it was 12:12am.

"It's after midnight, man," Embry said, as if I hadn't just looked at the damn clock myself. "You slept for almost fourteen hours."

I must have slept in the same position the entire fourteen hours because I was a bit stiff. I relaxed and flexed my arms while running my hands lightly down my bare midsection. I also took a brief second to admire the definition of my abs; it was natural – I didn't even work out. I thought that was rather impressive, myself. My sweatpants were riding extremely low on my hips, and a good portion of my bright red boxers were peeking out the top of my sweats.

As I flexed my limbs, I noticed that my body had changed considerably during its fourteen-hour rest. My entire form seemed to have hardened, and every muscle and tendon was in a state of complete awareness, as if it was ready for anything.

I glanced back at Embry and shook my head. "So everything that happened… that wasn't a dream? Or else you wouldn't be standing here in the middle of the fucking night, would you?"

He chuckled. "No, Jake. Not a dream."

_Great_.

I pulled up my sweatpants as I walked out my bedroom door and down the short hallway with Embry close on my heels. The house was dark but I could see perfectly clearly, as if it was daylight out. There was one small lamp on the living room table that shone a dim light, and I found my father reading his book near it. Apparently his night-vision didn't hold a candle to mine.

"Dad, what are you doing up?" I asked, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I still felt a bit groggy.

"Waiting for you, of course. I knew Embry would be coming over."

I almost threw a '_Well of course you did, because you just know everything, don't you?'_ at him, but I restrained myself. Billy was probably mildly stressed out too, given that his son had burst into a giant hairy beast in front of him just fourteen hours earlier.

"Bella called again while you were asleep, Jake."

Billy sure knew how to get my attention.

"What did she say?" I asked eagerly.

"She wanted to know if you were feeling better yet. She asked if I had taken you to a doctor, and I told her that I had," he explained. "I discussed the… _situation_ with Harry, and we decided that it's best to tell her that you have mono. It's an illness that lasts for a great deal of time, and it's easily faked… if it ever came down to it. Not that it would; we just have to make such plans as a precaution, of course."

_Faked?_ I wasn't allowed to see Bella on account of the fact that I internally harbored a monster that could explode out of me at any given moment so he wanted me to fake being sick?

_Fuck. My. Life._

_Have I said that lately?_

"Fine, Dad. Whatever you decide is just fine," I spit through my teeth, my hands trembling.

Embry placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, which was the only reason I remembered he was standing there.

"So, uh, what exactly are you doing here in the middle of the night, dude?" I asked again tentatively, stilling my vibrating hands. I figured I probably didn't want to know the answer.

I was right, as usual.

"We have a pack meeting at one, and I just wanted to get to you early enough so we could… ease into this again. You know, the phasing thing."

"Ease into phasing?" I asked incredulously. "Phasing isn't exactly something you _ease_ into. You _ease_ a child into the water their first time they go swimming. You _ease_ into driving for the first time by taking it slow and riding the brake. You do not _ease_ someone into bursting out of their own skin and so they can turn into a goddamn monster, Embry. There is nothing _EASY_ about that."

He was silent as he stared up at my trembling form. Part of my brain noticed that he was indeed staring _up_ at me, and I felt a bit of satisfaction from knowing that I was taller than him after both of our recent growth spurts.

I shook my head in order to get my stupid ego in check. _Who cares who is taller than whom? You are both freaking _werewolves_!_

"Alright, Jake. Deep breaths, man. I'm sorry." Embry took a step backwards, his eyes appraising me carefully. "But what the hell else do you want me to call it? You gotta practice phasing before it comes easy to you. It's still a bit difficult for me, and I've been at this longer than you."

I sighed. "I'm sorry too, Em. This is still just a lot to take in, you know what I mean?"

"Of course I know what you mean. I morph into a big furry animal too, you jackass."

I was about to retort when Billy interrupted. "Quit bantering like an old married couple and get to that meeting before Sam kicks both your asses," he ordered. I sighed again.

"Let's go. Bye, Dad."

"Bye, Billy!" Embry said cheerfully as he grabbed my arm and dragged me barefoot out of the house, shutting the door behind him.

I yanked my arm out of his grip as we walked over to the bushes next to my house. He just grinned and kept pace with me, finally stopping once we were out of viewing range.

"Dude, I really don't think anyone on the rez will be out marveling at the beauty of La Push in the middle of the freaking night," I snapped.

"We always have to phase out of sight. It's part of the rules, so shut up and listen to me," Embry shot back.

"Well look who finally grew a pair." I put my hands on my hips and stared at him, pulling at my sweats again, and impatiently awaited His Highness's further instruction.

"You're an ass," he shook his head. "Anyway, you need to phase for this meeting. Normally we would just have a regular meeting in human form, but Sam thinks it's important to show you certain things, since it's your first time."

"Well thank you for the explanation, Em. I'm so happy you're going to be with me when I pop my virginal wolf-cherry."

"Seriously, cut the sarcasm. You're starting to piss me off." He contradicted himself as he laughed, punching my arm. "So… do you think you can do it?"

"Fucking right I can," I replied, sounding much more confident than I actually was.

As usual, Embry saw right through me and ignored my previous statement. "Just concentrate real hard, that's all it takes. Oh, and you might think of something that makes you upset; that's a good technique when you first start out."

_Well, that wasn't so hard to do_.

I closed my eyes and thought of the phone call with Bella. She had sounded so worried about me as I spoke quietly in my rough voice. I wouldn't be able to see her again. _No more Bella_; Embry had said it himself.

_No more Bella._

My entire form began to tremble and I felt the brush of heat travel down my spine and spread through my body. I shook more violently for a few seconds as I struggled to concentrate on what was happening, and before I knew it I had burst apart and was now standing on four legs, in front of…

Well, in front of a light-grey, spotted wolf.

_How did you do that so fast?_ I asked him.

_Practice makes perfect_, he tsk'ed, and I felt his smug smile in my thoughts.

I looked around, and on the ground I saw red and grey shreds of cloth – what used to be my boxers and sweatpants. Next to Embry was a neatly-folded pile of his black sweats and white boxer briefs.

Embry noted my gaze with a nod. _You'll learn_, he promised with a wolfy grin. He started trotting off to the north, and I rolled my eyes as I followed.

My head was silent, save for Embry's random thoughts. I searched my mind and tried to extend the range of my hearing further – I could hear the waves lapping against the cliffs on First Beach. I could hear tiny animals scurrying in any direction but the one we were headed.

_They must not have phased yet_, Embry explained as he listened to my wondering thoughts. _Not everyone takes as long as you to get their shit together, so they don't need as much time._

I snapped at him playfully and he barked out a laugh. We picked up the pace and I continued following him, just a few strides behind his grey hind legs. I had no idea where we were headed for this meeting, but I knew the land well enough to recognize that we were moving toward the northern outskirts of La Push.

_It's just an open clearing of the trees with some sandy paths running through it. Perhaps you know the place?_ Embry asked, searching his memories for a particular one he had in mind.

I saw, in my head though it was his memory, Bella and I on the path the first day we rode our motorcycles. I was teaching her the parts of the bike, and I could tell by what I was showing her that it was about a half an hour before I ended up taking her to the hospital.

_Embry! Are you fucking kidding me?! You were seriously watching us? And that's where we're headed?_ I screamed in my head at him.

_Yes, that's where we're headed. Around that area, anyway. And dude, seriously, did you think Sam was kidding when he said that he was a protector and that he had the land under his watch at all times? After all this happened to you, what the fuck did you think he meant?_

_I haven't exactly had time to put things together_, I mumbled. I remembered the conversation that Embry and I had with Quil in the garage the first night Bella came back to me. We had discussed Sam's power trip and how we thought it was ridiculous that the elders held him in such high regard.

_Well, now you know why I came off as such an egotistical bastard_. Sam's mental voice startled the shit out of me as it burst through my memory. I hadn't felt him phase in, and he chuckled at my reaction as I listened to the wind blow through the trees while he raced to meet us. I saw that he wasn't too far away.

Side note: this "reading minds" thing was seriously freaking me out.

_Sorry, Sam, I guess I didn't know the whole story_, I apologized sheepishly. Sam laughed again – a strange sound, coming from someone whom, up until recently, I had only known to be an arrogant prick – and in that moment I felt Jared and Paul join our mental party. They were running together through the trees near Paul's house, which put them just a bit further out than Sam.

_Hey, guys. Be there soon_, Jared assured us as Embry and I slowed to a stop near the familiar place that, back when we were with the motorcycles, I had been positive nobody would know about.

_No worries_, Embry replied. _Jake and I just got here_.

_I can see you're freaking out about Bella again_, Paul snickered. _That motorcycle lesson was sort of pathetic, man; I gotta tell you._

_Shut up, dick_, I growled lightly at the mention of Bella.

_Whoa, whoa_, Jared laughed. _Look who's gotten all defensive over his little girlfriend. _

_Jared, you're an asshole._

_Okay, all of you just shut up_, Sam insisted. Though he was still joking with us, and it didn't come in a double-voice that meant I absolutely _had_ to listen, I still did. And so did everyone else.

From that moment on, only random flashes of thoughts made their way in and out of my head. Sam was thinking about the girl with the scarred face the entire time; Leah was nowhere to be found in his head, which confused me. Jared was simply focusing on the trees and the beat his paws made on the ground as he ran. Paul was wondering who would win the UFC match that was on the following night. Embry was trying to come up with new ways to sneak out of the house – his mother continually grounded him for leaving late at night, not knowing that he really had no choice in the matter, seeing as he was running around as a big hairy wolf with the pack.

I was thinking about Bella's brown eyes and plump, pink lips; her soft, strawberry-scented hair and the feeling of her tiny hand inside of mine. Her smile; her laugh; the way she tripped almost every tenth step or so.

Embry leaned sideways and kicked me hard with his left hind leg, effectively ending my reverie. I exhaled deeply.

Two minutes and forty-three seconds later - my new, seemingly bigger brain gave me room to calculate that shit - Sam skidded to a stop in front of Embry and me. He nodded his head and cocked his ear to the west. Seconds later, Jared and Paul joined our little gathering.

_Nice to see you, Jake_. Paul assessed my wolfy form and nodded his head. _You're already bigger than me, you asshole_.

_There's a reason for that, but we'll get to it later_, Sam shook his head. I saw nothing in his thoughts on the matter, so I figured I would take his word for it and just wait it out.

I mean, _my_ explanation regarding my strong, towering body – even as a wolf – was that Mother Nature finally decided to acknowledge the badass within me, so she had elected to make it physically known to the world.

Jared snorted and Paul rolled his eyes. I shrugged and said, _Sometimes the truth hurts, guys._

_Alright, let's get down to business_, Sam said. We stopped our banter and turned to face him.

Sam was the tallest, though I was not far behind. His black, furry body really did tower over the other three wolves, and his overall demeanor screamed authority loud and clear.

_Jacob_, Sam began_, you're here to learn about life as a Quileute werewolf. Embry is still learning a few things as well, because much of our knowledge comes from experience alone. But for now, you'll have to settle for the knowledge we can pass on to you through stories and memories. _There was a pause in his thoughts._ Jake, we are the protectors of La Push; the ones who look out for the tribe as a whole._

_So all of that bullshit about 'protecting tribe pride' was legit, not just a huge ego trip?_ I asked before I could stop myself.

_Nope, that was the real deal_, Sam answered with a grin. Jared smirked.

_Okay, fine_, I allowed as I rolled my eyes. _Don't judge a book by its cover and all that. But still… what exactly are we protecting the tribe from?_

The pack looked at each other warily, their thoughts carefully controlled so that they were completely blank.

_Tell me!_ I demanded. I could feel Embry beginning to waver in his resistance, and his mind tripping up and recalling a brief conversation the day before between the rest of the pack, in human form, promising Sam that they would not think of the answer to this particular question until Sam could explain it in its entirety.

_I'm going to tell you, Jake. I just need you to be prepared for the answer._

_I'm fucking prepared_, I growled, becoming irritated.

_Alright_, Sam started, _the need for the tribe's protection centers entirely around our natural enemy. Do you remember who that enemy is?_

I cocked my head to the side and stared at him curiously.

_Think of the legends_, Jared thought, and even in his mind it was barely a whisper. I could feel the fear at my upcoming reaction.

I scanned my brain for the Quileute legends I had grown up hearing. I now knew that the one about our tribe being descendents of wolves was certainly true, so I decided to start there. The pack waited patiently as I ran through the shortened version of story I knew so well.

_Taha Aki. Spirit Warriors. Defending the land against… The Cold Ones._

_The Cold Ones…_

_Vampires._

A strangled whimper of a sound tumbled out of my mouth as I gathered my thoughts and tried to form them into actual sentences. _There are vampires around here?! Real vampires? The legends are true?_

_Yes, Jake_, Sam said simply. _Wolves are one of the only creatures that can destroy vampires; our teeth can rip through their diamond-hard skin without any trouble at all._

His thoughts indicated that he wanted me to continue my recollection of that particular legend, so I forced myself to recover from the initial shock that we were not the only mythical creatures to exist in this world, and I continued down memory lane.

_Okay, so vampires exist. Our natural enemy is real even though I thought it was fake, just like the rest of the crap I've experienced during this clusterfuck of a weekend. There was that treaty made by the elders back then that said no vampires would come on our land… Jesus, that is all _true_?_ I asked incredulously to anyone who would acknowledge me, and all four of them simply nodded their heads. _Goddamn. So these vampires, then… they were around back then and they are back now, and they're the ones who aren't allowed on our land._

Embry sensed I was coming to a conclusion, and he moved closer to me. I briefly wondered why, but I continued my rambling thoughts. The vampires were around then, and they are back now, and they're obviously not allowed on our land…

I paused, legitimately at a roadblock. I really wished someone would just fucking tell me already.

My annoyance finally nudged Sam into action. _Who isn't allowed on our land, Jake? You know this. Think. Who doesn't come here?_

Well, when he put it like that, "Who doesn't come here," my mind immediately snapped back to a conversation that had taken place on the beach almost exactly one year ago, amidst a bonfire and laughter and friends. A beautiful, mildly familiar, brown-eyed girl had caught my eye and we walked the beach as I told her a 'scary story.' The most important legend of our tribe was the story I recounted that night… because she had asked me specifically about the Cullens.

"The Cullens don't come here," Sam had said to her, that night on the beach.

Sam was right; I _did_ already know the story.

_The Cullens. The Cold Ones._

_They're the _same_ ones._

The legends were true, down to every last detail.

I expended a breath I hadn't even realized I'd been holding and I swayed on the spot. I now knew why Embry had sidled up next to me moments earlier; he knew that I would need the support. I wasn't ashamed to lean against him as thoughts raced through my head.

_The Cullens are vampires. The _Cullens_! Edward Cullen. Edward, the boy who ruined my Bella's…_

_BELLA._

_Did Bella–?_

_Yes, Bella knew_, Sam interrupted before my words had entirely formed themselves into a question.

_No way_, I shook my head. _She would have told me._

_Jake… I swear to God, she knew. Your father knew that she knew, and he told me himself. Bella knew everything, Jake._

_I just… I can't believe that_, I breathed. _There's no way._

_It's true_, Sam assured me.

I concentrated on breathing calmly.

_Bella… knew that she was dating a vampire?_ I asked softly.

_Yes_, Paul answered, sounding a bit exasperated.

The girl of my dreams, my best friend in the whole world, had dated a vampire who had shattered her heart into tiny little pieces. And _I_ was the one who was struggling to glue those pieces back together. And she still had feelings for him; I knew this beyond a doubt, even though I wished it wasn't true.

Edward Cullen, the vampire, broke my Bells. She was so hurt that she couldn't possibly have feelings for _me_, because he took her heart with him when he fucking left her.

_That motherfucker_, I growled, low and lethal.

_Stupid fucking bloodsuckers_, Embry muttered angrily, stepping away from me and back into his original position.

_Uh, so now that we've covered… all that_, Sam said, still slightly grimacing, _we should go over some of the basic things that make us what we are_.

I was still wrapped up in the last few minutes' conversation. I stared wide-eyed at Sam, waiting for him to take back what I had just heard.

_He means the fundamentals, you moron,_ Jared said dryly. _Snap out of it_, _this is the _easy_ part_. I shook my head quickly from side-to-side, as though that would shake my brain up enough to momentarily forget what I had just learned, and refocused on Sam.

_The first, and perhaps most obvious, trait to be discussed is the pack mind_, Sam began. _It unites us; makes us one in everything we do. This is the reason we do not turn into wild, out-of-control wolves when we phase – we keep our minds and everything that comes with it. We still maintain the same feelings, the same memories… we're still individually ourselves, we just have a little extra room for the rest of the pack up there now, too._

_It makes it easier when we're hunting and when we're patrolling_, Paul expanded. I nodded.

_We are also inhumanly strong and agile_, Sam continued. _You may have noticed that not only have your senses heightened, but your reflexes have improved as well, even in your human form._

I thought back to Embry waking me up earlier and the way I sprung to my feet, already on the defensive. I also recalled the phone in pieces in my too-big hand. Jared barked out a laugh and I could feel both Embry's and Paul's amusement in my mind, though they didn't outwardly say anything.

_Right_, I grumbled. _Strength; agility. Check. Next?_

_Speed, _Paul chimed in, with a bit of awe and reverence. _The speed is _definitely_ the best part of this job._

_We're… very, very fast, to say the least_, Sam expanded. _You may have noticed the short time it took for all of us to get here tonight. I think it's safe to say that we are faster than your average wolf._

_Nothing about us can really be counted as the norm for a wolf_, Jared added, _with the exception of the basic animal tendencies, of course. And even though our appearance is largely wolf-like, you will never encounter a wolf our size in the wild._

_We're kind of mutant wolves, in case you haven't noticed_, Embry said with a wolfy grin, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.

I chuckled. _I've noticed, trust me. So what else? I'm all about learning tonight, guys; take advantage of that, will you? Doesn't happen often._

_You'll never be cold!_ Embry jumped in before Sam could say a word. _That part's actually kind of cool. We generally just walk around in shorts and shoes… makes phasing easier too, since you don't have to carry around an entire wardrobe._

_The reason for that is because we normally run a temperature between 108 and 109_, Sam added. _And we heal amazingly fast as well… broken bones heal in a day's time; bleeding cuts seal and scab themselves in mere seconds, and in a minute or two you'd have a mark that looks weeks old._

_We're basically indestructible_, Jared added, unable to hide the awe from his thoughts. Apparently after all this time, he still wasn't over it.

_Of course I'm not 'over it,' you jackass_, he scoffed. _Wait 'till it sinks in that you are indestructible. You'll want to try it out, and when you do, you'll be fucking fascinated._

…_Until Sam flips his shit on you for your newfound obsession with self-mutilation_, Paul coughed. Embry stifled a laugh as I was treated to Paul's memory of an infuriated Human Sam berating a bandaged Human Jared for almost amputating his arm.

A low growl rumbled through Jared's chest before he began his explanation. _I thought it was cool, all right?! I accidentally took it too far, ONE TIME, and you assholes have to keep bringing it up!_

Embry and Paul were now emitting the strangest noises as their huge shoulders shook with laughter – and I was briefly startled as I realized that _laughter_ was indeed what it was; though it was perhaps only recognizable because it was their familiar, human laughter that resounded through my head. But laughter it was, and their barking and yelping got louder as the now-expanded past exchange between Jared and Sam played out from Paul's mind for us all to watch; Sam was gesturing wildly and screaming at the top of his lungs at a somber-faced Jared, who had never looked so small as he clutched his bandaged right arm and maintained his silence.

By the time I joined in on the laughter, Sam was chuckling along with us, but Jared's growling had gotten louder as his lips pulled back over his teeth, baring them in a snarling scowl that may have been menacing if we couldn't see his mortified expression in our heads at the same time.

We struggled to catch our breath and regain composure as Jared relaxed back on his haunches, his growl now dialed down to a low rumble in his chest.

_I fucking hate you guys_, he muttered, and this time even Sam burst out laughing again.

Once we finally calmed down a bit – though Jared still remained growly and huffy for a good ten minutes – Sam explained that our magical healing powers worked to our advantage for many obvious reasons, including the fact that you can hardly go to a doctor for stitches or a cast when you're running a temperature that runs consistently near 109 degrees.

_So, speaking of being heated_, Paul began, as he nudged Embry playfully to illustrate what he considered a brilliant segue, _you gotta be careful not to get too upset, or else you'll phase right there on the spot._

_Yeah, Paul, you should talk_, Jared rolled his eyes, finally glad to shift the harassment to someone else. I watched in his head as a quick slideshow of random times that Paul went red in the face with anger and suddenly burst into a mass of grey hair that was still trembling with the fury of his human form.

_Alright, alright; enough memories for now_, Sam said. Jared, Embry and I stopped snickering – which sounded vaguely like a cat trying to cough up a hairball, by the way – and Paul cut his growl short.

_Anyway_, Sam continued once we'd all quieted down, _as Paul was saying, the most important thing to remember when you're in your human form is to stay calm and not get too mad or upset about anything. It becomes easier to control once you get the hang of your wolf, but in the beginning it can be pretty hard._

_This is important not only for safety reasons, but to maintain the tribal statute of secrecy_, Jared added, rather matter-of-factly. _Only the elders know that we exist; everyone else must be kept in the dark_.

_Yeah, I mean, I was lucky that my mom was up in Neah Bay at the Makah rez when I phased for the first time_, Embry added.

_I believe the reason you didn't phase for so long was because you were always so happy_, Sam said. _You rarely, if ever, got upset about anything. So your wolf was literally waiting, dormant inside of you, for the moment to show itself._

_Yeah, and the 'moment' was a real pleasure_, I muttered, wincing at the memory.

_At least Billy knew what was going on and called us_, Embry said seriously. _If Sam hadn't rapid-fire Alpha'd the shit outta you, you could have killed your dad right there._

I blanched, shifting the weight to my hindquarters as I struggled with the thought of accidentally killing my own father.

_Safety first_, Jared concluded with a nod of his head. I gave a single nod of recognition and was about to inquire further when Sam's mental images of the scarred girl flashed rapidly in my head, just as they had done the night I'd phased.

This caught my attention, and I felt a bit of embarrassment mixed with deep shame and regret coming from Sam. The name Emily swam about in his head as he finally let himself think of her; it was almost as if he had been holding back from mentioning her.

_Of course that's what I was doing_, Sam validated. _We are supposed to be teaching you, not dwelling on… certain situations…_

I felt some resistance coming from him again, and once I let go of my other random thoughts and focused fully on him, his mind seemed to burst open like a river dam, rupturing with information flowing forth freely into my curious mind.

Scenes played out for us all to watch, although Sam was still emanating a certain level of hesitancy and even remorse as he let us observe. I got the feeling that the other guys had seen it all before, because they once again settled back onto their haunches and waited patiently.

I saw, through Sam's eyes, that they were walking along the beach while making conversation. Their voices were muted, as if Sam had decided that the details of their discussion was too personal even for these new "pack mind, no secrecy" rules we had established. As Emily became more and more upset, however, Sam let me listen.

"Sam, this just isn't fair to her," Emily said, her tone was thick with implications of what 'this' could be.

From Sam's perspective, though, it was clear as a bell.

"Emily, I love you. You know how awful I feel about having to do this to Leah… but I can't stay away from you. I need you. You are my whole life; my everything."

The mention of Leah piqued my interest, and I tuned in impossibly closer to the memory. I had been wondering why she was almost entirely absent from Sam's mind. Present Sam winced at my observation; Memory Sam was wrapped up in the beautiful girl who stood before him.

Emily was in pain; Sam was in pain. One was a direct result from the other. I felt his intense need to comfort her, and he reached out to caress her cheek. She stepped back, out of his reach, and halted her steps. He followed suit, stopping in his tracks. His need to touch her, to hold her, was all-encompassing; I was overcome by the intensity of it.

"Sam, please! Leah is my cousin. I can't do that to her. She loves you so much; it would hurt her so badly…"

A single tear slipped down her cheek, and this time she let Sam reach out and wipe it away. I wasn't sure she knew it, but no force on heaven or earth could have stopped him then. The literal need to touch her, to connect with her in any possible way, was overwhelming.

"Emily, you have to believe me. I never meant to hurt Leah, I swear I didn't. But you have to understand… I had no choice in the matter."

"I'm trying to understand, Sam, I really am! But the difference is that _I_ have a choice here. I won't hurt Leah this way."

Memory Sam was alarmed. Present Sam whimpered, and the rest of the guys winced in anticipation.

"Emily, what are you—"

"I'm going back to Neah Bay, Sam, to the reservation. I won't stay here and ruin my cousin's life because Mother Nature forced you to fall in love with me."

My thoughts lingered on her statement about Mother Nature for a split second and then, through Sam, I felt a pressure in my head so great that I actually yelped out loud and struggled to remain upright. Memory Sam was frantic and unsure; Present Sam's whimpers had been amplified. His thoughts flickered, as though he was reluctant to relive this once again. It made for a very confusing, eerie sense of foreboding as I focused on the memory, determined to see what I already knew was coming.

Emily looked directly into the eyes from which I was watching, which had already made this uncomfortably personal even before she began to cry. And she was, indeed, sobbing. Sam was hyperventilating.

"No, Emily! I… I can't let you…" Sam gasped for breath as I felt him begin to shake – both in his memory and on the ground next to me.

"Sam, look at me," she demanded, tears flowing down her cheeks. "I'm leaving."

I had been so distracted by everything that I hadn't recognized that the Memory Sam's shaking was intensifying, and was now turning into a burning, spreading heat.

I wanted to yell at this poor memory of a girl, tell her to run as fast as she could from what I knew was coming. She was too close; much too close.

It happened almost too fast for me to see. I felt Memory Sam burst into his large, wolfy counterpart. Emily didn't even have time to be adequately horrified as Sam's limbs flailed about, adjusting themselves to this other form.

It was like slow motion, and I was certain Sam wasn't literally slowing down the memory for me.

Still entirely overcome at the mere idea of Emily leaving him, Sam's paws were wild as he maniacally tried to keep the thought at bay. I helplessly watched his left paw rise, seeming to move entirely on its own through his madness, and caught the corner of her almond-shaped eye. His claw dug in and dragged down her face, twisting and warping her expression through the livid red colors of her torn flesh.

She let out a blood-curdling scream, and the lights went out on Sam's memory.

Silence reined, both in our minds and through our small circle, and I shook my head back and forth in an attempt to readjust to life outside Sam's memories. I noticed that the boys had taken a step or two backward, no longer sitting in the relaxed positions they had been in at the beginning of the memory. They were all standing, rigid and utterly still, looking at Sam. I followed their gaze.

He had collapsed into a heap of black fur with his head under his large paws. His whimpers were long, low and shameful, further illustrating the painful recollection he had shown us.

Minutes passes and he collected himself little by little. Finally he managed a single thought.

_I'll never forgive myself._

_Sam, you were out of control_, I pointed out. _You didn't mean to do it. You didn't want her to leave you, and she was standing so close when you phased—_

_Yes, and that is the point_, Paul interrupted. _Sometimes it's uncontrollable. Don't you see why you can't be around Bella anymore? Why you can never see her again? It's not safe for her._

It was my turn to whimper as the anguish over the thought of never looking into those beautiful brown eyes ripped through me to the very core of my being. My knees buckled under the weight of my despair, and my head bowed to the ground. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sam getting to his feet.

_Paul… easy, man_, Embry cautioned. _Leave it alone for now._

_No, this is serious_, Sam disagreed. _Jake, do you want something like that to happen to Bella__?_

The pain in my head instantly tripled when I imagined my Bells standing in Emily's place as my wolf took over and I ripped her apart.

I whimpered again. _No, never Bella. I could never hurt her. I've made her promises…_

I thought back to the other night, the last time I saw her. Bella was getting out of my car and I was promising her that I would always be there for her, even though I acknowledged the fact that it sounded cheesy. The boys watched the scene unfold in my head.

_Jake, man, you gotta let her go_, Jared said. _It's not safe for her to be around you anymore. The way you feel about her makes you dangerous to her; you could be set off at any little thing. She has that effect on you; she makes you vulnerable like that._

_I would never hurt her_, I insisted, becoming agitated. I rose back up on all fours and allowed a growl to reverberate through my chest.

_You will not tell Bella_, Sam ordered as the double-timbre sounded for the first time that night.

_Goddamnit, Sam!_ I roared, furious that this stupid layered voice somehow prohibited me from being able to tell her. I made a note to ask about _that_ bullshit, too. _How can you do this to me? I swear I would never hurt Bella!_

_You can't help it!_ Sam countered with a snarling bark. _Do you think I wouldn't have stopped myself if I could have? Do you think I wanted to do that to the love of my life?_

When Sam spoke, I was reminded of something Emily had to him. It distracted me from my thoughts about Bella long enough to ask about it.

_Wait, Sam_, I began curiously, breathing evenly again and lowering my voice to a calmer pitch. _What did Emily mean about Mother Nature forcing you to fall in love with her? What's that about?_

_That's another thing I needed to mention_… he said hesitantly, calming down and resuming his role as my living informational brochure on How To Be a Proper Teenage Werewolf. _It's quite hard to explain, actually. It's called imprinting, and… well, it is literally Mother Nature handing you your perfect counterpart._

_Imprinting?_ I repeated, and I made a face. _What exactly does that entail?_

_Technically, we imprint on the girl whose genes will match with ours and produce stronger wolves. But as I said, it's hard to explain… It's literally like gravity moves. Whatever ties you to your life, the life before you met her, is all but forgotten once you see her for the first time._ Sam's mental voice had now taken on a dream-like quality, and Emily's face consumed his mind. _Your eyes meet, and you just know, man. She becomes your whole world. Everything is for her and her alone. Everything._

I raised my eyebrows and glanced around at the others, trying to ascertain whether or not they believed this insanity. Paul looked like he was trying his hardest not to roll his eyes; Jared was pawing at the ground uncomfortably. But Embry clearly didn't hold back his feelings of disgust as he stuck his tongue out of his mouth and made an exaggerated gagging noise.

Sam scoffed. _You can't possibly understand it until you've experienced it. But it's my reality; believe that_.

_Oh, we believe it_, Embry assured him. _That doesn't mean we enjoy all the second-hand, gooey, lovey-dovey bullshit all the damn time_.

_Amen, brother_, Jared smirked.

_You know he can't help it_, Paul defended. Sam just sighed.

_Sam, can I ask you something?_ I said nervously.

_Sure, Jake._

_What… um, what happened with Leah?_

I thought of the night we had the spaghetti dinner at my place, when Leah was on the phone the entire time. I remembered my assumption that Sam had been at school those times to visit Leah – only until I heard him making excuses for Embry, of course. Sam winced again.

_It's just like I said, Jake_… Sam explained. _When you meet the girl you imprint on, everything from your present life virtually ceases to exist, and instead your world revolves around your love. Unfortunately, Leah was included in that category…_

I could feel that he was sincere in his regret for hurting Leah. He remembered the night he told her that he had fallen in love with her cousin Emily, and the image of Leah's devastated face was brought to the forefront of his mind. We watched as she began to cry; silent tears rolled down her cheeks as she collapsed onto the couch, staring up at Sam in wordless desperation. Sam didn't let us listen to his explanation, but I knew he couldn't very well tell Leah that Mother Nature demanded that he loved her cousin instead of her. All the secrecy that surrounded us really was a burden, even if it was for a good reason.

Leah and I had never been very close, but I still didn't want to see her go through something like that. I always liked her, and Seth was a good kid too. They were a nice family, the Clearwaters, and I knew Sam was like a second son to them. It made me sad to think that all of that had changed, and now Leah's heart was broken.

All of this fucking misery and despair was officially putting a damper on my mood. I was becoming exhausted; this was a lot of information to take in, and I had to acknowledge the fact that most of it was damn depressing.

I grimaced. _Not to be insensitive to your situation with Emily… but Mother Nature is kiiind of a raging bitch._

Embry burst into a fit of rasping, wolfy laughter (I was still getting used to that odd sound) and Jared and Paul chuckled too. Even Sam smiled.

Fucking finally… I was tired of this emo bullshit.

_I know, I understand_, Sam acquiesced. _But again, I had no choice in the matter. You know how much I loved Leah… but not even feelings that strong can hold a candle to the intensity with which I love Emily. _

_But Emily didn't want to hurt Leah_, I remembered. _Did she actually leave?_

_No, she didn't leave_, Jared said, before Sam could answer for himself. _She moved down here and we hang out at her place all the time. She's a damn good cook._

_But doesn't the girl have any choice in this imprinting situation?_ I asked, disregarding Jared's commentary.

_Well, yes_, Sam said uncertainly.

_But nobody in their right mind would turn down that level of love and affection_, Paul pointed out. _It wouldn't be natural_.

_Okay, so speaking of things coming naturally_, Sam said, effectively changing the subject, _we need to discuss something else_.

Oh, for the love of it all, would this meeting never end? Didn't I learn enough for the entire year, let alone the last few hours?

_Chill out, we're almost finished_, Sam assured me. I shifted my weight again to a more comfortable position and listened intently, trying to leave the sarcasm and fatigue out of my mind.

_You know how I was able to order you to do certain things? _Sam asked. I recalled his strange, echoing voice and the way my body obeyed without question, and I nodded.

_That is because I'm the Alpha_, he said. _That means I'm the leader of our pack. I believe this is not only because I was the first to phase, but because my great-grandfather, Levi, was in the last wolfpack. But Jake… you are actually the rightful Alpha of this pack_.

I stared at him blankly, as the heads of the other three wolves turned their gazes on me.

_Dude, that's kind of sweet_, Embry offered.

_Wait, what the fuck are you talking about?_ I asked Sam, ignoring Embry.

_Wolf blood is on both sides of your family. You are the rightful leader of this pack, Jake. That's why you're almost as large as me physically. And now that you're finally a wolf… well, I am offering this position to you. It's rightfully yours, after all_.

I scowled. _Well, I don't want it. You're already good at it; I don't want to mess with the order of things. And besides, who in their right mind would appoint me the leader of anything, let alone a pack of wild animals?_

_A pack that you're part of now, jackass_, Paul pointed out.

_Well, still… Thanks but no thanks, Sam, _I said_. You can keep it._

Sam sighed patiently. _This is a big decision, Jake. Don't take it lightly… just think about it for a while and get back to me._

_But I don't—_

_Think about it, _Sam repeated in a rather stern tone,_ and get back to me_.

_Fine. But don't expect my answer to change_.

_You're a moron, Jake_, Paul scoffed. _If I could be the leader, I would be. And I'd be a damn good one, too_.

_Even Mother Nature the Raging Bitch would never torture us to _that_ extent_, Jared snorted. Paul quickly snapped at him and Jared jumped out of the way, still laughing. He faced Paul again and crouched backwards on his hind legs and then forward on his front paws, as if he was taunting him.

_C'mon, dickhead, I dare you_, Jared sneered. It was a poor attempt at intimidation, considering we could still hear the laughter in his head even though his outward expression was serious. Paul let out a long, low growl in response.

_Don't test me_, he warned. Embry sighed dramatically.

_Okay, idiots, cut the shit and let's finish up_, Sam urged. _There is one last thing we have to tell you._

_Oh, let me say it!_ Embry begged Sam. He turned to me. _It's so fucking cool, Jake. Seriously._

_Go ahead_, Sam allowed with an amused laugh.

Embry's wolfy grin spread across his entire face.

_We. Live. Forever_.

I stared deadpan at Embry, just as I had done too Sam when he told me I was supposed to be some courageous leader.

_We live forever?_ I repeated meekly. _As in, we never age? Never die?_

_Nope_, Jared thought happily, popping the "p" at the end of the word.

_You're serious?_ I looked at Sam for validation, and he nodded once.

I was confused. Why on earth would anyone want to live forever? And as an oversized, hairy wolf, no less?

_It is possible to quit your wolf if you stop phasing for a solid length of time, _Sam explained_, but it's extremely difficult. We live forever because _they_ live forever_.

'_They,' as in…?_

_Vampires_, Sam clarified. _Well, that's part of it anyway. It's for protection in general… it's easier for us to remain as we are to protect the tribe instead of becoming weaker with age and having to train new wolves._

_So I'm stuck as a wolf until the end of freaking time because the Cullens decided to come hang out in the Pacific Northwest and in turn activate some legendary mutated wolf gene?!_ I cried incredulously.

_Essentially, yes_, Paul piped up.

I was not pleased.

Okay, that's putting it mildly… I was _fuming_.

_Jake, you're actually pissed about this?_ Embry asked disbelievingly. _We are basically immortal, dude! What's not to like?_

_What's not to like?! The life sentence that binds me to a secret life as a werewolf, that's what's not to like! And I can't tell the only person I want to tell, the person who means the world to me, because Mister Double-fucking-Vocals over here says I can't! THAT'S WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE!_

Silence fell again. Sam's mental feeling was unapologetic; the others were uncertain.

Embry spoke first.

_Umm… maybe this isn't, uh, the best time to mention this_…

_Fucking spit it out, Em_, I snapped.

_Well you said the one person you'll want to tell is Bella… but I have a feeling when you think about it, you'll want to tell, um, Quil, as well?_ He asked, his voice rising in pitch towards the end of the sentence.

I growled in frustration. _I can't tell Quil, either, can I?_

_No_, Sam answered, and I groaned again.

_The good news_, Sam continued, _is that it's only a matter of time until he joins us as well… wolf blood runs through his veins, too._

_That's _good_ news?! I wouldn't wish this bullshit on anyone_, I retorted. _Are we done? I'd like to go home now_.

_Yes, we're finished_, Sam sighed. _You can go. Since there is still more to learn and discuss, we will continue to have regular pack meetings. _

I turned away from the others, in the direction of my house. _Fanfuckingtastic. Later._

I took off like lightening towards the rez, trying to ignore Paul's _What's his problem?_ and Jared's _He'll come around'._ Embry, however, was calling, _Jake, wait up!_ and I heard him close on my heels.

Unfortunately, running away from a human conversation isn't the same as running from a wolf one – the voices stay in your head just as clearly as they do if you're standing right next to each other.

_I have a lot to think about, Em,_ I warned. _I'd rather not talk to anyone just now._

_Shut the fuck up, man_, he laughed. _You can't get rid of me now. We're, like, life partners. For real!_

_Say that to me again and I'll rip your head off._

_Stop being so melodramatic._

He finally stopped babbling and left me to my thoughts – er, _our_ thoughts, I suppose. They centered around Bella, of course.

She had known everything, all along. I felt… betrayed, somehow. I was hurt. I was angry.

No, I wasn't just angry; I was pissed the fuck off.

Not at Bella, mind you; but at those filthy bloodsuckers. This was all their fault. EVERYTHING.

I snarled and lengthened my stride. Embry mimicked me to keep up, remaining silent.

We arrived at my house a few minutes later. I was entirely disgusted with my wolfy self, so I decided to phase back. It was even easier than last time – I wanted nothing more than to be human again, and in a flash of heat, I was.

I was also stark-ass naked again.

"Son of a bitch!" I yelled into the darkness, and my eyesight adjusted in time to see Embry pulling on the pair of shorts he had left folded in the bushes earlier.

"Talk about indecent exposure," Embry laughed as he brought a hand up to shield his eyes. I covered myself up with my hands and groaned.

"Fucking hilarious, Embry."

"You should start stashing your clothes in the bushes or bringing them along somehow."

"Yeah, I'll remember that next time. Now get outta here, I need to be alone."

"See you in the morning for school," he pointed out. I groaned and shuffled into the house, slamming the front door behind me.

"You seem irritated, Jake," Billy said, and I nearly jumped outta my skin. He was sitting in almost total darkness near the couch, clearly waiting for me to return. I glanced at the clock on the kitchen counter; it was after 3am.

"You scared the crap outta me, old man," I breathed. "Are you nocturnal now?"

He chuckled. "Nah, just waiting for you."

Silence.

"So you knew everything, huh?" I finally said, ending the awkward staring contest.

"I did, yes."

"And you couldn't tell me because of all this secrecy crap?"

"That's right."

My father was a man of many words.

"Sweet. I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

"Jake, wait," he called as I turned my back on him and headed towards my bedroom. I stopped, but I didn't turn around.

"What, Dad?"

"I'm sorry I had to keep everything from you. But I knew you would learn soon enough, you have to trust me on that."

"I trust you. That doesn't mean I have to like it. So goodnight."

"'Night, son."

It took two strides long to get me into my room and I slammed that door, too. I was frustrated as hell.

I threw myself face-down onto the bed and wished for suffocation. But was that even possible? My new, indestructible body probably couldn't even suffocate itself.

"Goddamnit," I groaned into the mattress.

I was asleep in seconds.

---

Time crawled by at a miserably slow pace as I attempted to adjust to life as a werewolf. I was becoming better at controlling my wolf, but I had my moments where I would get frustrated with the situation and explode into my furry alter-ego in a split second. The good news, Sam said, was that I was a real natural talent at phasing; I barely had to think about it.

A fucking natural. You can imagine how much better _that_ made me feel.

I was shredding clothes and shoes like they were scraps of paper every time I phased when I didn't intend to, and Billy eventually told me that he couldn't afford any more shoes, so if I ruined my last pair I'd have to go barefoot.

I tried to carry my clothes in my mouth when we went on what Sam called "patrols" around the reservation and the surrounding areas. We knew that the Cullens were long gone, but we still ran regular circuits around the area to keep an eye out for anything else that may happen onto our land. Carrying my clothes in my mouth was rather annoying and restricting, so after a few other trial-and-error ideas I settled on tying them to my leg. I found a stable yet elastic band that was thick and flexible enough so that it wouldn't break when I phased. I kept it around my wrist since I no longer needed a rubberband for my hair.

Yeah, that's right, I cut my hair. For the first time in years, I chopped that shit right off. It turns out that the longer your hair is when you're human, the shaggier you are as a wolf. This annoyed the hell outta me, so a few days after our meeting I cropped it rather short, and Embry helped even out the back. Honestly, I didn't mind my new 'do… I just loathed the reason I had to cut it in the first place.

At school, I had to completely ignore Quil in favor of hanging out with the other members of the pack – minus Sam, of course, since he was so damn old. Quil was confused and angry, just as we both had been when Embry began avoiding us. But at least then, we'd had each other… now Quil was all alone. I felt absolutely awful for doing this to him.

Bella was constantly on my mind. She called my house often, and occasionally Billy would feed her lies about why I wasn't around. But most often, he just wouldn't answer the phone. And of course he forbade me from answering, too.

I kept trying to think of ways around Sam's edict, and not only was I unsuccessful but this pack mind business was getting in the way – they knew I was trying to plan a way to tell her, and they obviously weren't happy about it.

I had lost my best girl and my best friend – albeit temporarily, in Quil's case. But still.

I was becoming increasingly bitter.

Tensions were running high in the pack lately, and I was absolutely miserable. I hated my new life, and even though Life Before the Wolf was filled with questions and confusion, I would give up all of the stupid answers I had longed for back then if I could just go back to my old life.

At least then, I'd had my Bella.

To make matters impossibly worse, I found out on Saturday that Harry Clearwater was in the hospital with heart trouble. He'd had some irregular heart palpitations, and they had also scheduled surgery for a few weeks from then to clear out some blockage in his arteries. Harry assured all of us that he was perfectly fine once he was released, which was later that day. He was his old, cheerful self again when my father and I visited him that evening, which was good to see.

The following Saturday was a million times worse than the one before it.

We had decided to run a patrol during the day for a change. So we all met at the local store so we could head out into the woods together, instead of risking five different wolf sightings around the area. We all knew we were much more efficient if we started on the same page, too, so that's what we intended to do.

The night before, I had a hard time concentrating during the brief meeting Sam had decided to hold in our usual spot. Thinking of ways to get to Bella had consumed every single thought in my head lately, and this night was no exception. We had argued, and the residual bad feelings were still lingering when we met up the next morning at the store.

Sam and Paul were continually on my case about forgetting Bella altogether. Jared was slightly more sympathetic, and Embry understood me completely. That morning, however, everyone's patience was wearing thin, even Embry's.

I pretended to listen while Sam gave me the usual spiel about it not being safe and protecting the pack's secrets and blah, blah, blah. His point was stressed through the way that he spoke in a hushed voice, so that nobody else could hear. I rolled my eyes when Paul threw in his random comments to emphasize what Sam was saying. Jared stood with a stern look on his face and said nothing, but continued to glare at me. Embry looked irritated, and he stood a few feet away from me instead of next to me as he usually did when I was being ganged up on.

I stood with my arms folded across my chest, determined to remain silent this time. I was not in the fucking mood for their bullshit, and I knew if I tried to defend myself it would only egg them on further.

But as they continued to rant and I could not see a conceivable end in sight, Silent Seething Jake was damn close to turning into Get the Fuck Out of My Face or I'm Going to Kick Your Ass Jake.

Just as I was opening my mouth, I saw the Forks Police cruiser drive by out of the corner of my eye. Charlie Swan was leaning out the window and waving at me.

I studiously ignored the ache in my chest as the closest I'd come in weeks to seeing my Bells drove past me with a confused look on his face. I noticed that my breathing became a bit labored, and I felt the carefully controlled expression on my face break.

Embry noticed Charlie's brief appearance and stepped to my right side, facing the other three.

"I think that's enough for now, guys," he said seriously. He lowered his voice to match Sam's. "He gets it. He can't get around the Alpha's order. He might try, but he can't. Now let's go patrol."

For possibly the first time ever, everyone listened to Embry without question. We stalked toward the woods, and seconds later, twenty paws hit the ground running.

We ran circuits around our rez and the general area for about an hour, and we found nothing. We were racing around the outskirts of Forks and I was about to suggest that we head home when I caught a new, burning scent.

It was bitter and sweet and it burned my nose; it was so strong that I could nearly taste it on my tongue. I imagined that if I'd chugged a bottle of bleach, that's what it would taste like.

What _was_ this scent?

The others picked it up at the same time I did, and I felt the same question forming in their minds. I felt confusion and curiosity from Embry, Paul and Jared… but blind panic and alarm from Sam.

_Jesus fucking Christ!_ he exclaimed as he turned abruptly on his hind legs and bolted northeast.

Obviously, we followed, all on the verge of asking what the fuck the fuss was all about, but then one word broke through the hysteria in Sam's head and reverberated repeatedly through our minds:

_VAMPIRE! VAMPIRE! VAMPIRE!_

_What?!_

_A vampire?_

_Sam, what the fuck is going on?_

_That smell is a vampire?!_

_There is a vampire in town?_

_Is it a Cullen?_

_I don't _know, _guys_, Sam finally said, _but we need to get there NOW. I recognize the smell because it still lingered a bit after the Cullens left... Follow the trail and memorize this scent… this is what your enemy smells like_.

We each pushed ourselves further at his words and I was sure that we were nearly invisible with speed. Sam was in the lead, with Jared and Paul flanking him on the left and right, respectively. I was behind Paul and Embry was following Jared.

We rocketed toward the concentrated center of the scent, where we knew the vampire would be. I wondered if he could smell us, and Sam said that he probably could once we'd arrived. The only reason we had smelled him earlier because we came across his trail; he had been in the area.

We followed the sickly-sweet smell to the outer trees of a large, circular meadow, and we slowed to a stop. I had thought maybe the vampire was alone and simply passing through – our legends told of nomadic vampires, and we all knew now that this was a reality – until I heard him speaking to someone.

_He doesn't know we're here yet_. Sam still whispered, even though he was obviously talking through his thoughts. _You know the deal… fan out and follow after me._

I heard the creature's slight foreign accent trip over the word "mouthwatering," and I shivered. I was glad we had arrived in time to save this person. Goddamn leeches.

The wind blew past us as Sam eased out of the trees, toward the vampire. He was still hidden from my view, but I heard him utter "I don't believe it," as he caught wind of our scent… and then the sight of Sam.

Sam snarled long and loud as he padded otherwise silently through the meadow. Paul and Jared were close on his heels, their thunderous growls rumbling in their throats. I stepped back into formation just behind Paul, and as I emerged from the trees for the first time, I finally saw her.

I mentally freaked the fuck out.

Bella. It was Bella, the unfortunate human who found herself in the company of a ravenous vampire. And no, the irony that she should be used to hanging out with vampires was not lost on me.

But, oh, it really was my brown-eyed girl… my beautiful, terrified Bella.

She gasped at the appearance of more wolves, and I turned my head to look her in the eye. She was close enough to touch. What I wouldn't give to phase right now and hug her, just hold her… tell her that I'd never leave her again, not if my life depended on it.

My Bella…

_Goddamnit, Jacob, focus_, Sam ordered with another growl. It was not the Alpha's double-voice, but it was a clear order that snapped me out of my preoccupation, back to the situation at hand.

I whipped my head around and focused on the vampire, who was backing away from our advancing steps.

He had shiny black hair, and even through his chalky pallor I could tell that he'd had olive skin once. He had a long, lean body that looked strong but not overly muscular. Though he was entirely focused on us now, his left hand was still extended toward Bella.

I couldn't wait to rip him apart.

Shock and fear were evident on his face, and I knew what was coming – he turned and bolted through the trees on the opposite side of the meadow.

We were after him in less than a second, taking over the rest of the meadow in just a few powerful bounds. Our jaws snapped together and we snarled over and over again while we gave chase of the bloodsucker.

The bloodsucker that had almost killed my Bells.

_Fuck this formation bullshit_, I muttered as my legs turned into rockets and I surpassed both Paul and Sam in a single leap.

Though the vampire was fast, it was no match for our speed. He didn't make it very far before I lunged, catching him by his right arm and dragging him to an abrupt stop.

He tried to speak, to defend himself both with words as well as various kicks and punches and scratches. But there was no way he was making it out of Forks alive when a pack of werewolves had determined that he wouldn't.

I tore his right arm off and a sickening screech echoed through the trees. It sounded like tearing metal in half, and I imagined that was probably almost exactly what it was.

The others followed suit and we bit and pulled him to pieces. Our teeth cut his rock-hard skin like it was butter.

When we were satisfied with the pile of vampire parts that lay in front of us, we stepped back to look at each other.

_Job well done_, Sam said in a satisfied tone, breaking the silence that had fallen since we'd caught up to the leech.

We whooped and hollered in celebration and filled the stereotypical role of the wolf howling towards the sky. Once we were done congratulating ourselves, we each took a few limbs in our mouths and headed back toward La Push.

The legends assured us that our damaging teeth alone would prohibit the vampire from putting itself back together again, but we wanted to be absolutely sure. We had decided to take the dismembered body to the tops of the cliffs around First Beach and pitch them into the ocean in various places.

I'd decided to do something extra instead. I had his left hand in my mouth – the one that he had near Bella when we found him – and I was going to take it down to the beach and burn it. I knew that was what you were traditionally supposed to do with a vampire if you had somehow killed it, but since we were wolves we didn't necessarily need to take that extra precaution.

Well, I did. He had almost grabbed Bella with this very hand, and I was going to destroy it.

The sun was setting by the time I had phased back to human form and walked to the beach with the vampire's cold hand curled in my own left one. The rest of the pack was content to throw their pieces into the ocean and go home to bed, feeling accomplished and proud of themselves.

I needed time to think… time to burn.

I lit the match I had taken from the kitchen counter and tossed it into the white driftwood that was piled on the sand. The flames erupted in a brightly elaborate dance of blues and greens. I sat down on a larger piece of driftwood and tossed the hand in the flames. Thick purple smoke billowed up from the inferno immediately, and I readjusted myself on the driftwood so that I wouldn't inhale it.

"Damn the Cullens," I said out loud to myself. _They are the reason I am stuck in this wretched life until the end of time. They are to blame_.

I sighed deeply, losing myself in my thoughts even more rapidly than usual.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, I was a werewolf, and I was bound to this life for eternity, no matter how miserable it made me; I would just have to find a way to accept that. Second, I hated the Cullens with every fiber of my being for ruining my life _and_ Bella's. And I knew that she deserved the absolute truth about everything.

Why? Because third, I was unconditionally and wholeheartedly in love with Isabella Marie Swan.

Having to defend and analyze my feelings to the rest of the pack for the past few weeks directed me to this conclusion. I knew that the word I had been searching for, this vague sense of something bigger than anything I'd ever felt before, was _love_. I felt like an idiot for not recognizing it sooner.

And my Bells, the love of my life, deserved to know the reason why I could never see her again. I was angry with myself for finally giving in to what the pack had been so insistent about; I hadn't realized their words actually had penetrated my thick skull until the incident today when I had witnessed Bella in real danger. She deserved everything the world had to offer… she did not deserve a dangerous, temperamental werewolf. But I could not tell her any of this, because I knew if I ever saw her again, I would never be able to let her out of my sight.

_No more Bella_, I repeated Embry's words to myself.

As the blue-green flames in front of me slightly dimmed and then burnt out, the flicker of heat inside of me went up in flames.

* * *

___So our boy's kind of a wreck, but he finally realized that he's in love with Bella. It was a long time coming, no? And, yes, I realize he doesn't actually _tell_ her until _Eclipse_, but although Jacob Black may be a bit overconfident at times (okay, understatement of the year)… he certainly isn't stupid. Well, when it comes to srs bsns like Bella's heart, anyway._

_Also… I PROMISE I will never take this long to update again! Cross my heart. June was a clusterfuck in my life with graduation and moving home and trying to find a job and blah, blah, blah… so I promise, it will never be this long until I update again. *mumbles* I mean, I'm unemployed, so I'll be spending my excessive amount of free time playing with Jake anyway._

_*clears throat* Ahem. Anyway…_

_Of course, I have to thank my wonderful beta, **AHelm**. She is amazing, and you wouldn't even be reading Jake without her (she convinced me to publish in the first place)! Love you, bb. She also just wrapped up No Outlet, her Leah fic… and I know I've pimped before, but I'm pimping again. GO READ IT. The end._

_Awards season is upon us (and I think we all agree that our fic awards season is much better than Hollywood's…) so let's discuss a few things, shall we?_

_JCMS has been nominated for Best Characterization of Jacob at the LJ Community "Sort of Beautiful!" Voting has been extended until next week, so if you enjoy my Jake, there is still time to vote. Just click on the link in my profile to find the list of nom's and the directions for voting. There are some really great Jake fics that are nom'd, so check those out too! :)_

_The Indie TwiFic Awards was created to give a bit of cred to the lesser-known fics out there. It is also a great resource for new reading material! JCMS made it through the preliminary round of nominations (thanks to anyone who submitted it!), so go check it out (link in le profile) and stay tuned for the voting to begin. I'll try to keep y'all updated on that, too._

_Y'all may have heard about the Bellie Awards before, and if not you should go check them out. Some of the best fics out there are nominated, including the lovely and talented **SorceressCirce**'s Just One of the Guys. So go read it and GO VOTE! (I'm rather demanding today, no?) Again, there is a linkie in my profile._

_Alright, I'm done rambling. As always, thank you for sticking with Jake and I... and the rest of the pack, now that they're so involved. :) Let me know your thoughts by clicking that little button down there, please? You know, the one that says "review."_

_Don't make Jake beg, now. :D_

_/epicly long Author's Note.  
(yeah, i said "epicly.") _


	7. I'm a Lot of Things, But I'm No Quitter

**Anything you recognize belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Luuucky.**

_A/N: See, told you I wouldn't keep you waiting for too long. :)_

_Thanks, as always, to my all-star beta, AHelm. You deserve some sort of award for fixing my sub-par grammar skillz this chapter, lol. You're amazing, and ILYSFM. I'm counting down the days 'till October. :D_

_One quick thing worth mentioning before you begin - the words I use in the Quileute language are actually correct, although the spelling is not. The Quileute language includes incredibly complex letters and characters, and ffn[dot]net wouldn't allow them to be used. Instead, I typed the words out phonetically in an attempt to translate the language a bit. _

_You'll hear more from me at the bottom, but I promise I won't ramble like I did last time. Hope you enjoy!_

_

* * *

_

"Goddamnit, Embry! Move over!"

"I'm trying my hardest, Jake. Jesus Christ."

"Will the two of you shut up?"

"Fuck you, Paul!"

"ALRIGHT! ENOUGH!" Sam exclaimed, sounding a bit exasperated.

Trying to fit four oversized Quileute boys into the back of Sam's Saturn S-Series was one of the most ridiculous things I've ever experienced in my life. And _that_ was saying something.

I silently aimed another elbow in Embry's direction as we squeezed into the backseat together next to Jared, who had gotten out of Biology a few minutes early and was already waiting there with the others for Embry and I to get out of our last class. Embry settled in the middle, and I claimed the passenger-side window seat. Sam had picked us up from school as usual, but somehow Paul the Big Bad Senior had called shotgun before me this time, and Sam still let him have it even though I was bigger and therefore required more room.

I mean, I wasn't bigger by that much, in my human form anyway, but that excuse usually worked.

But not today, even though the previous tension that had emanated throughout our pack had all but dissipated. Apparently ripping a vampire to shreds is somewhat of a stress reliever. Who knew?

It was Monday, two days after said vampire-shredding, and although the pack's relationship had strengthened considerably over the weekend, my thoughts and feelings regarding the entire, eh… _situation_ hadn't. They had all lightened up on me considerably, although they still weren't keen on the idea of me wanting to tell Bella, they were confident in the fact that Sam had stamped his Alpha-assurance on it so I was physically incapable of doing so. Sam was actually very supportive of me as I adjusted, and he actively tried everyday to make me feel better about my life as a wolf. I actually felt kind of bad for having such a shitty opinion of him for so long when the reality of the situation was that he had gone through everything I was going through right now, only completely alone. He had shown us how hard it had been, and I was now extremely thankful for my new family. Sam was not only our leader, but like an older brother to us.

Having said all of that, I was still finding things difficult to deal with, and it felt like I hadn't been myself since before I phased for the first time. I was resentful and bitter. I was generally fucking miserable.

Or, as Embry so sensitively put it, I was being an overdramatic, emo bitch.

Whatever.

As far as I was concerned, nothing had changed since we killed the vampire in the meadow. I was still missing Bella desperately; probably even more since I had seen her again so briefly before having to murder the undead bastard who was planning to kill her. I wanted to be there for her like that anyway, to protect her, even before I had actually seen her in danger. My Bells was a danger magnet, there was no question about that, and she needed a protector. She needed _me_. I had made her a promise that fateful night after the movie, and I wanted nothing more than to keep it.

_Crunch_.

"Son of a bitch!" I yelled as blood trickled from my palm down to my wrist. Apparently during my daydream I had been unconsciously gripping the handle above the door too tight, and it had splintered in my hand. Jagged pieces of plastic stuck out of my palm, mocking my newfound inhuman strength. Embry and Jared snickered while I plucked the pieces out of my palm. The bleeding stopped as soon as I pulled the splinters out, and the pain was gone just as suddenly. But it still pissed me off… it reminded me of what I had become.

You know, 'cause I needed a reminder.

I gazed back out the window without dignifying Embry or Jared's lack of concern for my well-being – so what if I had superhuman healing powers? it's called being a good friend, for fuck's sake – and resumed my depressing thoughts. This time, my mind strayed to Quil, and as I heard Embry sigh, I knew he was thinking the same thing.

Quil, our poor, neglected, confused, angry-as-shit best friend.

Sure, chances were that Quil would end up a wolf like us. For the time being, however, we had to go through all that avoidance bullshit that Embry had put us through a few weeks earlier. At least then, Quil and I'd had each other. This time, he had to go through this stupid shit alone.

Avoiding someone at Quileute Tribal School was tough to begin with… Around 700 kids attended the school, from Kindergarten through twelfth grade, which meant that there was basically one large class per grade. Our technique of avoidance was to arrive relatively late to each class to avoid interaction and find a seat as far from Quil as possible. Then after class, Embry and I would rush out the door and go sit in the common area until it was almost time for our next class… and the cycle would be repeated.

Real nice, I know.

Outside of school, I spent virtually all my time with the pack. When we weren't running patrols, we often just lounged around and watched television or hung out at Emily's house. Meeting Emily for the first time was interesting because we had all essentially "met" her through Sam's thoughts, but she turned out to be just as wonderful as Sam assured us she was. She cooked for us all the time and took care of us like she was our older sister, and we came to care for her as if she was. Her house was basically pack headquarters, aside from the times we met at my house to get Billy's input on things.

Sam also had picked up a few phrases in our native language, and even though there was a Quileute Language course included in our Native Culture class, we listened much better to Sam than we did any teacher at QTS. We often used simple phrases when we were in human form and wanted to make a point without broadcasting it.

Even if the whole pack wasn't around, Embry was. I had to admit that it was nice to have him back. I had missed him, and I guess that was apparent in my thoughts, because the others jokingly threw around words like "Bromance" and "life partners" when we were all together in regards to Embry and me. But in all seriousness, Embry was one of two people who just understood me without any explanation. Of course, Quil was the other one.

So, sure, I get to hang out with my wolf-brothers nearly every waking second, and they provided comic relief and support in addition to the harassment and humiliation that any sibling relationship is blessed with. But I missed my old life. I wanted it back.

I wanted Bella back.

I had never asked much of life before now, so I was a bit indignant that God couldn't grant me this one request – no more werewolf; straight-up human being, please and thank you. Until all of this happened, I had traveled along gloriously happy and content with myself and the life I had been given. Sure, I missed my mom every single day, and as much as I hated to admit it, I missed my sisters, but Rebecca and Rachel were just a drive and a flight away… I mean, sure, I would change a thing or two about my old life. But when it came right down to it, who wouldn't?

I sighed again as Sam pulled into my driveway and I awkwardly got out of the car. Honestly, I didn't do many things awkwardly at all anymore – I was strangely lithe and graceful with every move I made – but any 6'7" kid getting out of the backseat of a tiny fucking Saturn would be a bit awkward.

"You guys coming over for dinner?" I asked into the open passenger's side window after I shut the back door.

"I'll be there," Embry nodded. "I just have to go home first to drop my shit off and say hi to my mom. She's been giving me a hard time about my 'late nights' lately, so I'm just gonna let her know where I'll be."

"I'm staying home to relax before patrols, but thanks," Jared said, and Paul nodded in agreement. We had decided to patrol every night since we killed the vampire, but until anything serious came up, Sam had decided we could split up and alternate days, three on three. Sam, of course, was patrolling every night.

"I'm heading to Emily's new place before patrols, too. But thanks, Jacob," Sam said, smiling.

"Alright," I called as I turned toward my front door, "Just howl if you need something later."

Three long strides took me to the doorway, just as the phone began to ring inside the house. I walked into the living room as my father picked it up, waving at me in greeting as he did so. I waved back and sat down on the couch, flipping on the television. He turned his back to me and wheeled himself to the kitchen table.

"Oh, hi, Rachel," Billy said into the receiver. "How are you, honey?"

There was a moment of silence on Billy's end, and I was sure Rachel was rambling about something. I could hear her voice but I couldn't clearly make out the words, because my father had apparently turned the earpiece volume down.

Suddenly, Billy raised his eyebrows and glanced back in my direction, meeting my confused gaze.

"Jacob is fine, Rach," he said cautiously, clearly wondering where this came from. My eyes went wide and I frantically shook me head back and forth, hoping he would understand that I could not handle another conversation with Rachel right now. She had called the night before to ask me if there was any further progress with Bella.

I broke the phone after that conversation. Yes, another one. But this time wasn't exactly an accident so much as an unfortunate and abruptly forceful meeting between the phone and the wall of the living room. Good thing we had two phones; Billy had bought a new one after I broke the last one, too.

"I don't want to talk to her!" I mouthed, in barely a whisper. Billy grinned deviously at me and I stood up, glaring at him seriously. "Dad, seriously! I'm not even home!_ I'm not home_!" I hissed in a rather odd whisper-yell.

"Actually…" Billy began, barely holding back his laughter at my terrified expression. I growled at him. "…He's not home from school yet. But I'll let him know you called."

I sighed in relief but still aimed a _very light_ kick at the wheel of my father's chair as I stalked past him and into the kitchen. "Not cool, Dad," I groaned under my breath. "Not cool at all."

He grinned up at me as he spoke into the phone. "I know, Rach. He's always out somewhere; you know your brother. So how was your day, honey?"

I opened the fridge and scoped out the situation. I had gone grocery shopping last week, and by some miracle we still had a good amount of food left. Apparently my appetite had grown along with the rest of me, and the fact that Embry all but lived here now wasn't good for our food stock.

Embry arrived about a half hour later, and I made the three of us Chicken Parmesan for dinner. I was a decent cook, but my skills were nothing compared to the best cook I knew.

Bella, Bella, Bella.

I went to bed early that night. Despite my exhaustion, I was restless. I leaned over and switched my clock radio on to the oldies station in the hope that whatever music was playing would lull me to sleep. When I was younger, my mom sang me lullabies when I had trouble sleeping… as lame as it sounded, I could have used a lullaby or two right now. Instead, I was treated to The Beatles' "Yesterday." Yes, my _wolf_ alarm clock was singing what could be considered my theme song.

Why? Because the irony in my life cannot realistically _kill_ me anymore, so now it stands to torture me whenever possible.

_Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away  
Now it looks as though they're here to stay  
Oh, I believe in yesterday_

_Suddenly, there's a shadow hanging over me  
I'm not half the man I used to be  
Oh, yesterday came suddenly_

_As I drifted out of consciousness, I saw Bella's face behind my eyelids. Her gentle smile… her beautiful, depthless eyes…_

I exhaled deeply and prayed to dream of her. I knew that was the only way I could see her.

---

The week progressed slowly but surely. On Tuesday, we saw Quil in the parking lot as we were getting into Sam's car. He was just standing next to his truck, staring at us. Anyone else would have thought his glare was purely malicious, but Embry and I _knew_ him. Hurt and betrayal were both etched into the lines of his face, accentuating the anger that was radiating from him. I sighed, broke eye contact with him, and climbed into the car. Embry looked at me when he slid in next to me, and we didn't need to speak to know what the other was thinking.

We felt absolutely terrible.

That night, Embry, Sam, and I patrolled. We could still smell the faint scent of the vampire we had killed on Saturday, and it was messing with my concentration. I had an eerie sense of foreboding every time that bleach scent burned my nostrils… I wasn't positive what would happen, but I knew something would. Though we didn't actually talk about it because we didn't have any real evidence, the others felt the same. I saw it in their thoughts.

My first tribal council meeting was on Wednesday; apparently I was expected to attend these things from now on. They were boring as hell, and I had no desire to sit around a table and listen to old men talk about "tribe pride," but my father, Harry Clearwater, and Old Quil insisted that the pack attend each meeting.

I suspected that this meeting was much livelier than most other meetings, because we discussed the vampire sighting. We told them that we had discovered no new scents since the vampire in the meadow, but that his scent still lingered in the area.

Old Quil also informed us that he could basically fry an egg on Quil's forehead, which meant that his first phase would happen relatively soon. There was no real time limit on these things, Harry said, but the fact that he was agitated with Embry and I might kick things into gear.

Perhaps that should have made me happy, to have my friend back, but I didn't want this life for Quil; it just _couldn't_ happen to him as well. The Cullens had left months and months ago… did werewolf genealogy run this deep? Once things were set into motion, were they inevitable?

I sincerely hoped not.

The elders decided to postpone the little bonfire and initiation meeting that they had planned… they wanted to wait for any further transformations. Old Quil even forbade us from speaking to his grandson, which had clearly been the plan of action to begin with. I was mildly disgusted with the way they were nearly positive that Quil was next. It made my stomach churn.

My sister Rebecca called on Thursday; Rachel had called her earlier in the week because she was apparently worried about me. Rebecca was much calmer, asking about my life in general before asking anything about Bella. When I told her I'd rather not talk about it, she asked if I was alright and accepted my "not right now, but I'll be fine" response straight out the gate. Of course, she asked if there was anything she could do, and when I told her no she reminded me that she was always there for me and that if I needed anything she could be on the next plane home. I resisted the urge to ask her to do just that as she tried to explain that our sister Rachel often came off a little strong, but that it was all rooted in worry for me because I was getting older and trying to "find myself". I swallowed my prior annoyance at Rachel and assured Becca that I knew that, despite the way our sister drove me nuts at times. We exchanged I love yous and I miss yous, and when I hung up the phone, I felt my heart ache and burn a little bit. I never remembered how much I missed my mom until I talked to one or both of my sisters. And, of course, even though Rachel made me a little crazy… I really missed having her and Becca around.

I dragged my ass through the schoolday on Friday, my head still heavy from my conversation with Rebecca and from the toll that running patrols all night was taking on me. I knew I wasn't the only one who was struggling to function as a real person after getting next to no sleep this week, and after discussing it with the guys during our lunch period, we decided to all run together today instead of splitting up so that we would be a stronger unit. We also thought it might be better to run our circuits right after school while it was light out, so that we could get a different angle on things. When we ran our ideas past Sam on the drive back to my house, he agreed that it was a good idea.

"You sound like a goddamn boy scout leader," Embry laughed after Sam mentioned sticking together for the greater good of the pack.

"Yeah, because you fools are such boy scouts," Sam chuckled as he pulled into my driveway. We all got out and headed past my house, toward the beach. We usually started our patrols in that area.

Once we arrived on the sand, we decided to split up into two groups again, because we could cover more ground that way. We would obviously still be able to communicate through our freaky psychic abilities. The air was thick with the rainstorm that was coming; we wanted to get this done as quickly as possible. Nobody enjoys the smell of a wet dog, even if you _are_ one.

Sam, Paul and Jared took off into the trees almost immediately after we finished delegating responsibilities. We watched them go, and I turned to Embry.

"Well, you ready?"

He nodded once. "Born ready, dude."

We walked toward the trees, side by side.

"I don't know what it is about today," I began morosely, shaking my head, "but I just have a really bad—"

"Hey!" A familiar voice called from behind us. "Jake! Embry! Wait up!"

I nervously clenched my jaw as I quickly glanced over at Embry. He had turned his head slightly to needlessly affirm the fact that Quil was running up to talk to us. He was still a few hundred yards back, and as Embry whipped his head back around to look at me, we both took off running into the trees.

I had wrestled my shorts and boxers off and secured them to my back leg – I had switched it there from my front because it was much less distracting – and in the blink of an eye, I was full-out sprinting through the forest on four legs. I felt Embry phase next to me as his thoughts mixed with my own, as well as Sam's, Jared's, and Paul's, none of whom were concentrating on anything of importance.

We could hear Quil yelling and running, but due to our quick getaway he was far behind us. Embry and I exchanged our painful thoughts on the situation, and through a few memories he felt what Quil and I had felt when Embry had ignored us after he phased. Embry let out a low, shameful moan and I nodded in response. We did not discuss the matter further, and the others did not mention it either.

We continued running in near silence, reading each other's random thoughts but never really having a conversation. We could still hear Quil occasionally when he called our names and we could tell that he was walking up near the one-oh-one, which connected La Push and Forks. Still, we didn't mention him.

I was concentrating hard on the rhythm of my paws hitting the forest floor when I heard a familiar engine rumbling down the road north of where Embry and I were at the time.

I would know that engine anywhere. I built it.

I whimpered and stopped in my tracks.

_Aw, shit…_ Embry mumbled as Bella's face moved to the forefront my mind.

_Is she coming to La Push? What is she doing?_ Paul asked angrily.

_It sounds like it; yes_, Sam said calmly. _Well, Jacob, let's head back to your house._

He turned and began running back towards my house with Paul and Jared on his heels.

_We're going to go see her?_ I asked, panicking slightly but changing my direction as well. Embry was still to my right.

_Yes_, Sam answered simply.

_I mean, she's not exactly making it easy to ignore her_, Jared scoffed.

_Goddamnit_, I growled, trying to mentally prepare myself for what was about to happen. I pushed my legs harder, and Embry followed suit.

After all this time, I was actually going to get to speak to Bella, face to face. After avoiding her phone calls, after resisting the urge to just kidnap her and run away, after dealing with the desperation and hurt from the second most devastating loss in my life – the first being my mother – I was going to see her. I had dealt with all of these obstacles, and now she was going to be standing in front of me.

These obstacles, of course, wouldn't be an issue if I weren't a fucking werewolf. And I wouldn't be a fucking werewolf if it weren't for the Cullens.

I was angry again. Furious, really.

Bella would be there with me, and I couldn't tell her anything. Nothing at all. And I had to leave her again, knowing that it would be for good this time, without giving her any sort of explanation. An explanation that she deserved.

Forget furious. I was _livid_.

The other three members of our pack met Embry and I at a cross in the paths we often took to get back to my house. The five of us ran together until the trees began to thin out, and I knew we were swiftly approaching home. The rumble from the engine was no longer resounding throughout the area, so I knew she had turned the truck off. I figured she was probably waiting for me in the driveway; I was sure that Billy would not let her get any further than that.

_Jacob_, Sam cautioned, _you know what you have to do. See what she wants, and do what you can to get it over with quickly. Do not give her any information._

_I know_, I growled.

_Maybe your apparent… _anger_ will help you end things quickly_, Embry offered cautiously. They had all followed my previous train of thought, but even if they hadn't they knew why I was bitter.

_You can't tell her anything_, Paul added in annoyance.

_I know_, I snapped. _Won't tell her anything. Can't, anyway. I'll get it over with, all right?_

I felt the others' agreement as we each phased back and pulled on our cut-off sweatpants. We stepped through the trees noiselessly; I was in front, followed by Embry, Jared and Paul, who were side-by-side. Sam walked behind all of us. My whole body tensed as I caught sight of the old Chevy, idled in my driveway just as I knew it would be. My face froze in its resentful expression – I would not let this mask break. She could not see that I was hurting, or she wouldn't let me be; I knew this for certain.

Even from a distance, I could see that Bella was hunched over in the driver's seat, a look of absent concentration wrinkling her forehead. I took a deep breath and walked around to the driver's side of her car, followed closely by the others.

It hadn't started raining quite yet, so she had her window open. She was doodling on a piece of paper. I stood outside it and gripped the window frame, but she still hadn't noticed I'd walked up. So I gave one sharp rap on the hard metal door, and she jumped, quite startled.

I did not allow myself to look directly into her eyes just yet. I would absolutely lose my nerve if I looked into her eyes, into my brown eyes, as she took in my new, hardened appearance. It would hurt too damn much. So I fixed my gaze on a freckle above her right eye, and I spoke.

"What are you doing here, Bella?"

She stared blankly at me. From the corner of my vision, I noticed her eyes were roaming my body, appraising my face, taking in what had changed since the last time we had seen one another.

I heard her swallow hard. "Jacob?" she whispered.

I stared at that damn freckle, so close to her eye, and willed myself not to lose it. My jaw clenched.

She finally shifted a bit in her seat, leaning around me to glance at my pack brothers. I decided it was safe to really look at her now, since she was done with her initial inspection. She was looking past me, at the rest of our audience.

I watched the play of emotions dance across her face – first came confusion, then disbelief; next, as I felt her eyes settle on Sam, her face displayed obvious anger and hostility. But all of that was abruptly washed away by what appeared to be surprised anguish.

I was not sure I could go through with this anymore.

"What do you want?" I growled. She had to leave, and she had to leave soon. My hand was trembling on the window frame.

"I want to talk to you," she mumbled meekly. Her hands dropped what they had been holding and wound around her chest, gripping tightly.

"Go ahead," I spat through my teeth. It was easier to be angry now than to feel the way she usually made me feel. And besides, I _was_ angry… just not with her, entirely. I had let go of my betrayal towards her – I knew now what it was like to keep secrets; secrets that weren't always your own to tell.

_The Cullens had their own secrets_, I thought to myself as I glared at her.

"Alone!" She hissed, her voice rising from the feeble excuse it was a second ago.

I turned around to look at Sam for confirmation, and the others did as well. He nodded once and said, "Kayhkuh," telling me to "go" in Quileute. He added, "Bohts," immediately after to remind me to be quick about things.

He gestured for the others to follow him into the house, and they did. As soon as they closed the front door, I felt some of the tension leave my body. I knew they would be watching and listening, but I was admittedly a bit uncomfortable having them watch this play out from a few feet away.

"Okay," I said, turning back to face her.

She took a deep breath. It seemed to shake her whole body. "You know what I want to know."

There was nothing to say; I couldn't tell her what she wanted to know. The corner of my mouth twitched as I unwillingly allowed the pain and bitterness to consume me all over again.

"Can we walk?" she choked out. I frowned as I stepped aside. She opened the door of her truck and stepped out, slamming it behind her. She began walking toward the trees, right where we had emerged moments earlier. I walked silently beside her, over a foot taller and considerably bulkier than her, but a thousand times more sure-footed.

The Danger Magnet was clumsy. Old news to me.

I knew I had to get this over with before I started cataloging more details about Bella Swan, so I picked up the pace and then turned to face her, effectively stopping her in her tracks.

"Let's get this over with," I demanded in a hard voice.

She stared at me wordlessly.

"It's not what you think. It's not what I thought – I was way off," I assured her, a bit warily.

"So what is it, then?" she inquired.

My eyes examined her face, studying every minute detail. The way the laugh lines around her mouth completely disappeared when she was this angry. The lighter freckles that were smattered across the bridge of her nose, so light on her pale skin that I wasn't sure human eyes could even detect them. The soft, smooth texture of her lips…

I bit down on the inside of my cheek so hard that I tasted blood. "I can't tell you."

Her jaw contracted as she tightened it in frustration. "I thought we were friends."

"We were." I tried to subtly emphasize the past tense.

"But you don't need friends anymore," she taunted. "You have Sam. Isn't that nice – you've always looked up to him so much."

"I didn't understand him before." Finally, some truth.

"And now you've seen the light. Hallelujah."

"It wasn't like I thought it was. This isn't Sam's fault." I looked over hear head, into the window of the house. Again, human eyes could have never seen him, but Sam was standing there, peering through the open sliver where the curtains met.

But, of course, I was not entirely human.

"He's helping me as much as he can," I added, clenching my trembling hands into fists at my side. The heat was there waiting for me, I could feel it waiting for the cue to travel through my body and change me. This would not happen in front of Bella. I began taking deep, calculated breaths – inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

"He's helping you," she repeated sourly. "Naturally."

Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

"Jacob, please," Bella whispered. The tone of her voice brought me back down to earth, and I looked into her eyes. "Won't you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help."

"No one can help me now." I heard someone moan pathetically, and I was not pleased to realize that it had been me.

"What did he do to you?" Bella asked, her voice cracking. Tears welled up, making her brown eyes glisten. I wanted to wipe them away, but I knew I couldn't touch her. I was a monster; I could explode any second.

As though she had heard my thoughts and was purposely trying to defy me - a classic Bella move - she reached out to me, stepping toward me with her arms outstretched.

I stepped backward quickly, holding my hands in front of my body defensively. "Don't touch me," I breathed.

She started to cry, and what was left of my heart began to break.

"Is Sam watching?" she asked quietly, wiping her tears with the backs of her hands and promptly folding her arms across her chest.

"Stop blaming Sam," I demanded, but the words were rushed and almost sounded like one long word. I was becoming fidgety, and I reached up to twist my hair out of nervous habit.

Oh, right, I had to cut it all off to avoid tripping over my own fur when I turned into a goddamn wolf.

The tears were suddenly gone, and anger glinted in her eyes. "Then who should I blame?" she spit back, her voice growing stronger.

This was where this conversation is headed? I wasn't sure how I hadn't seen this coming. A dark smile twisted the bottom of my face as the thought of telling her who was really to blame presented itself in my mind.

"You don't want to hear that," I promised her, still half-smirking disgustedly.

"The hell I don't!" she yelled. "I want to know, and I want to know _now_."

"You're wrong."

"Don't you dare tell me I'm wrong – I'm not the one who got brainwashed! Tell me now whose fault all this is, if it's not your precious Sam!"

"You asked for it," I sneered furiously, glaring at her hard. "If you want to blame someone, why don't you point your finger at those filthy, _reeking_ bloodsuckers that you love so much?"

Bella's jaw dropped and she exhaled loudly, unable to conceal her shock. She stood completely still, continuing to gape at me for a solid minute, although her eyes told me that she was a million miles away.

Finally, I spoke.

"I told you that you didn't want to hear it."

"I don't understand who you mean," she breathed, speaking in barely a whisper. I quirked an eyebrow at her.

"I think you understand exactly who I mean. You're not going to make me say it, are you? I don't like hurting you."

And it was the truth.

"I don't understand who you mean," Bella repeated softly, the expression on her face still one of horrified shock. Her right arm seemed to move on its own to wrap around her torso, just as it had in the truck.

"The _Cullens_." I said their name slowly and deliberately, allowing the hatred and hostility I felt wrap around each letter. I watched her eyes glisten and her face twitch minutely before she reined in her reaction. "I saw that – I can see in your eyes what it does to you when I say their name."

She shook her head back and forth, somewhat maniacally, probably trying to deny the obvious and rid her memory of them at the same time. She was still staring at me, but now she was breathing heavily, gasping for air.

Her meek retort came too late to defend herself and that fucking vampire coven she loved so much. "Don't tell me you're listening to Billy's superstitious nonsense now," she muttered, barely getting the words out.

I narrowed my eyes. "He knows more than I gave him credit for."

She tried her hand at sarcasm, but I invented that shit. "Be serious, Jacob."

I continued to stare at her furiously, waiting for her to try another route. "Superstitions aside," she began breathlessly, "I still don't see what you're accusing the… Cullens of." She winced again. "They left more than half a year ago. How can you blame them for what Sam is doing now?"

"Sam isn't _doing_ anything, Bella," I repeated for the hundredth time. "And I know they're gone. But sometimes… things are set in motion, and then it's too late."

It was my turn to wince.

"What's set in motion? What's too late? What are you blaming them for?"

My rage flared once again and swallowed me like a tidal wave. I trembled as I leaned towards her, merely inches from her face. "For existing," I hissed.

Bella shivered a bit and I stepped back quickly, aware of how violently I was shaking now. She shook her head again.

"You're being ridiculous."

Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

"Fine," I breathed. "I won't argue it with you. It doesn't matter anyway, the damage is done."

It was her turn to lean towards me, as she shouted, _"What damage?" _right up into my face.

I didn't even blink.

"Let's head back. There's nothing more to say."

Her mouth dropped open again, clearly not happy with my decision to end the conversation. I strode right past her in the direction of my house, expecting her to follow even if she kept shrieking.

But instead, she surprised me.

"I ran into Quil today," she said, loud and calm.

I paused mid-step, but did not turn to face her.

"You remember your friend, Quil?" she asked pointedly. "Yeah, he's terrified."

_Terrified?_ My face crumpled as I spun around to face her. "Quil," I mumbled.

"He's worried about you, too. He's freaked out."

I felt sick again as my eyes unfocused and refocused on Bella's desperate face. I bit my lip.

"He's frightened that he's next," she prodded.

My thoughts ran rampant._ He couldn't possibly know that he is next, could he? No, but of course he'd be afraid that he would be; it's only natural after watching your two best friends disappear from your life, never knowing if or when they would return. _

My knees nearly gave out. I grabbed the closest tree for support as I felt the color drain right out of my face. "He won't be next," I tried to reassure myself under my breath. "He can't be. It's over now. This shouldn't still be happening." I began to slam my fist against the tree. "Why? _Why?_"

With my last pathetic punch, I felt the tree trunk snap off. I looked down at the broken remains of the tree, completely horrified with myself.

_Jesus Christ._

"I have to get back," I spun on my heel and hurried away. I heard her jogging to keep up, though I was walking so fast that she barely could.

"Back to Sam!" she yelled.

"That's one way of looking at it," I murmured as I picked up the pace. My whole body was shaking again.

"Wait!" she called as we approached the driveway. I finally turned to face her, determined to make this goodbye quick and simple. After seeing her cry and having to hear about Quil, I was dangerously close to losing my shit.

"Go home, Bella. I can't hang out with you anymore."

I watched the tears well up in her eyes again, and I fought to maintain my cold, detached mask.

"Are you… breaking up with me?" she asked quietly as a tear rolled down her cheek.

I laughed, sharp and bitter, because I refused to let myself read any further into those loaded words. "Hardly," I scowled. "If that were the case, I'd say, 'Let's stay friends.' I can't even say that."

My hands began to tremble again as I watched her come apart right in front of me. "Jacob… why? Sam won't let you have other friends? Please, Jake. You promised. I need you!"

Bella was pleading for me and I couldn't take it. "I'm sorry, Bella," I let each word roll off my tongue clearly and distinctively, hoping that I had adequately hidden the emotions I was fighting to control.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't… before…" she began, breathing shallowly in between her desperate words. "I wish I could change how I feel about you, Jacob. Maybe… maybe I would change. Maybe if you gave me some time… just don't quit on me now, Jake. I can't take it."

My Bella finished her plea in barely a whisper, and far before she'd stopped talking, I came undone.

"No. Don't think like that, Bella, please," I begged, reaching a shaking hand towards her. "Don't blame yourself, don't think this is your fault. This one is _all_ me," I promised. "I swear, it's not about you."

If only I could tell her that in reality, _everything_ in my life was about her.

"It's not you, it's me," she whispered as she looked up at me, her eyes shining with her tears. "There's a new one."

This was absolute torture.

I looked back at her beseechingly, knowing there would be no way she could understand. But I'd be damned if I didn't try anyway. "I mean it, Bella. I'm not…" My voice cracked as I tried to hold in my own tears while I told her the truth – or a version of it. "I'm not good enough to be your friend anymore, or anything else. I'm not what I was before. I'm not good."

"What?" she asked incredulously, looking completely taken aback. "What are you saying? You're much better than I am, Jake. You are good! Who told you that you aren't? Sam? It's a vicious lie, Jacob! Don't let him tell you that!"

Her voice had gotten louder and I knew for certain that the pack could hear every word, since they were just inside the house. It was a reality check.

I swallowed hard. "No one had to tell me anything. I know what I am."

I had to end this, and I had to end it now. I was too close to the edge of the cliff. I backed away slowly, edging toward the house.

"You're my friend, that's what you are! Jake – don't!"

"I'm sorry, Bella," I repeated, and I abruptly turned and sprinted to the house. It started to rain the very second I reached the door… the very second the tears began to flow rapidly down my cheeks.

I hurried past everyone through the living room and down the small hallway to my bedroom. I turned to shut the door before my brothers or my father could say anything.

I stood with my hand on the doorknob and my forehead pressed against the smooth wooden door. I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing deeply as the tears continued to stream silently down my face. I did _not_ want to turn into a wolf right now. That was the last thing that I would allow to happen.

After a few moments, the vibrations softened and slowed, and I moved away from the door. I crawled onto the bed and buried my face into one of my pillows.

Bella was still outside. The heavy rainstorm could have masked the sound of her truck's engine pulling away, but I knew for a fact that she was still there. I could _feel_ her. I could feel her in my bones; feel her presence in every fiber of my being.

Bella was standing outside in the rain, desperate and alone, and I could not go to her. I could not hold her, could not tell her that I loved her, could not comfort her about her painful past any longer. These thoughts triggered a new wave of tears, which joined the old ones as I moaned – the cry of a drowning swimmer. The anguish I felt was all encompassing, and I just didn't see how I would be able to swim to the surface this time.

The phone rang from the living room about ten minutes later. Billy's voice was muffled and the conversation was short, but I heard the door open after he hung up and I assumed the person on the other end of the line had been Charlie. The truck rumbled to life and I listened in agony as it pulled away.

After a while, my bedroom door opened and I felt someone sit on the end of the bed, taking up the small amount of space where I wasn't sprawled out. I didn't look at him and we didn't speak to each other, but I knew it was Embry, coming to check on me.

We sat in comfortable silence. It made more sense to me than anything had in a _long_ time.

The phone rang again, and Billy picked it up on the second ring. I heard him greet Charlie, but I was not at all interested in what either of them had to say. Without lifting my head, I grabbed a second pillow and placed it over my ears, effectively blocking out all potential threats of noise.

Eventually, Embry got up and left. Hours passed as I further contemplated this day, the past few weeks, and the future.

Something had snapped during the conversation with Bella. I was tired of holding onto the anger, the misery. I was still bitter about the life I was bound to lead, of course, but I knew that some of my fury had permanently dissipated. I knew that it was time to accept my fate and move on.

But I also knew that in order to be truly happy, I had to have Bella in my life; somehow, someway. I had successfully controlled my wolf today, and I couldn't even remember the last time I had been that furious.

The pack said I wasn't safe, but they were _wrong_.

And just like that, I knew what I had to do.

I could keep my promise to Bella… and maybe, through my newfound confidence, I could find a way to get around Sam's edict and tell her my secret… one way or another. I couldn't let things end like this, and I was disappointed in myself that I'd nearly given up so easily earlier.

I was going to go see Bella because I didn't break promises, especially to her. I wouldn't abandon her like that vile leech had. I would not leave her brokenhearted, not again. I was better than that.

I leapt right out of bed and peered through the window of my darkened room. The ground outside was soaked but it had stopped raining hours earlier, so I slid the glass pane open and popped the screen out; I knew it was quite possible that Billy would still be awake, so I didn't want to chance the front door. I shimmied through the window, miraculously avoiding getting stuck. I took this as proof that God wanted me to tell Bella the truth just as much as I did, and I sent a huge "thank you" up to the Big Man as I took off into the trees.

I broke apart mid-stride and my paws hit the ground just as fast as they had the night we killed the vampire. I was a man on a mission, goddamnit, and I was going to get to Forks in record time.

I arrived in the Swans' front yard in just under five minutes, and I figuratively patted myself on the back. Speed was definitely the number one perk of being a werewolf.

I phased back and pulled my black shorts on, staring up at Bella's window.

Perhaps I hadn't thought this through…

It was nearly three in the morning and I was standing in the front yard of the girl I loved, determined to somehow break in and convince her that I was going to keep my oath of always being there for her, through thick or thin; through flesh or fur. I had no idea how I was going to get to her second-story bedroom window, and to top it off her father was the police chief and therefore kept a gun in the house. How fast do you think he'd whip that gun out if he woke up and saw a man creeping around in his front yard in the middle of the freaking night?

I assumed it would be pretty damn fast.

Plus, if I wasn't mistaken, wolves weren't in season.

_Hmm_…

I glanced around the yard, looking for a ladder to climb or rocks to throw or _something_ at all to get the girl inside to wake up and hear me out. I walked over to the space underneath her window, but all that surrounded me was trees and bushes.

I took a deep breath and hoped that my inhuman strength and agility would come in handy, because I was about to climb a fucking tree.

I grabbed the trunk of the spruce that was planted as close to her bedroom window as I could get, and I hoisted myself up. It took a good amount of effort, but as I wrapped my arms and legs around the branches I figured I was handling it better than any normal human would. Sure, I was getting scratched and poked and I muttered the occasional "ouch" under my breath, but there was no burn in my muscles from strain or sweat on my brow from exertion; my temperature was perfectly even as I climbed up, up, up, until I reached the peak.

As I did so, the treetop bowed under my weight so that I was now dangling twenty feet above the ground, clinging precariously to the uppermost branches of the spruce. I was grunting and groaning as I shifted my weight, once again cursing my apparent inability to think before I acted. Story of my life.

I decided to use the bowed branches to my advantage, so I shifted my body yet again and scraped the longest, thinnest boughs along the side of Bella's windowpane.

"Bella!" I hissed. Another branch stabbed me in the side, fighting for room at the top of this stupid tree. "Ouch! Damnit," I groaned, and then I raised my voice to a loud whisper.

"Bella! _Isabella Swan!_ Open the window!"

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_A/N: Lots of heartfail, but our resilient boy bounces back in the end. And I don't have to promise you anything, really… y'all know how this story goes. hehe ;)_

_As I mentioned last chapter, Just Call Me 'Sunshine' was nominated for an Indie TwiFic Award! JCMS is nom'd under Best Canon WIP and Best Characterization (non Edward-Bella) WIP. Voting is open until July 13__th__ at midnight (I know, my bad; I didn't give you guys much notice on this one), so if you enjoy reading about Jake's shenanigans stop on over and click the little box next to our title. Link is in the profile, of course._

_Speaking of which, I had writer's block one night so I posted a ton of links in my profile pertaining to JCMS. If you find yourself equally as bored as I was that night, go check 'em out._

_Reviews are better than the midnight screening of _Harry Potter_ that I will be attending on Tuesday. Cue the squeeeeing! ;)_


	8. The Heart Wants What It Wants, Dude

**I do not own these characters. And I'm not feeling witty enough to elaborate on what I do own, or how much I wish they were mine. Just know that I do, k?**

_A/N: __Thank you, times a million, to my beta __**AHelm**__. I am sending *NSync to serenade you with "I Drive Myself Crazy," just so you can picture JC holding a TV and going batshit crazy. Hell, maybe he'll even bring the TV with him to reenact it - who knows?_

_More from me at the bottom, lovelies._

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I grunted and shifted my weight, rubbing the branches along her windowpane again to create the grating squeal I hoped would wake her up.

"Bells! Isa_bella_!" I hissed. "Ow! Bella, open the window…"

I was unintentionally creating momentum every time I moved my body, and I realized I would probably crash through her window soon anyway, even if she didn't open it. I tried to still my movement and remain hanging from the tree, but that wasn't working at all. So I clung to the branches, wobbling back and forth and aiming the sharp sticks at her window, praying that Charlie wouldn't hear it and come to investigate.

I was just about to whisper-yell again, and then I saw her silhouette appear in the darkness. My night vision – all natural, no need for those silly goggles – showed me a very confused Bella, standing in her pajamas and staring at me with a puzzled expression on her pretty little face.

That pretty little face was glistening with tears.

As she staggered backward, evidently surprised to see her best friend hanging from the tree in her front yard, I swung my legs back and forth, determined to get inside immediately. I had to explain myself as best I could. I wasn't _positive_ that she was crying over me… but the intuition that rarely spoke to me was basically screaming at me now.

_Your fault, your fault! You overgrown, moronic, insensitive animal!_

Shit.

"Bella!" I called under my breath. I caught my bare foot on another branch and felt my skin tear. Just because I healed quickly didn't mean that a wound wouldn't hurt initially; I was still getting used to that part. "Ouch! Damnit, open the window! OUCH!"

Once she heard my voice, she hurried to the window and lifted the glass as quickly as she could, which I certainly appreciated. I increased my movement, preparing to leap into her room.

"What are you _doing?"_ she breathed.

My response was broken up by grunting and panting. "I'm trying... to keep… my promise!"

Bella blinked hard, over and over again, trying to make sense of what I realized was probably the most ridiculous thing she'd ever seen.

Then again, she _did_ run with vampires…

"When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie's tree?"

I groaned. Now was not the time to be funny. "Get out of the way," I demanded, swinging my legs with more force.

"What? No, Jake!"

I ignored her protests, kicking backward one more time in the hopes that my forward swing would send me straight into her window.

Which is exactly what it did.

She jumped out of the way, finally listening to me for once, and watched with wide eyes as I launched myself through the window and into her bedroom, punctuating my perfect landing with a soft thud.

We both held our breath and listened, though I could hear what was going on much clearer than she could. Charlie had stopped snoring the moment my feet touched the bedroom floor, the low noise jarring him from his deep sleep. But it was only a few seconds before I heard his chainsaw imitation start up again with a rumble. I grinned.

Sometimes I impressed even _myself_.

I allowed the smile to stretch across my face, turning my head to look straight at Bella, foolishly expecting at least a, "Even though you were a jerk earlier, I'm happy to see you, Jake!"

Yeah… I was wrong.

"Get out!" she hissed in a hateful whisper, her fingers angrily clenched into fists at her side.

I blinked rapidly, mirroring the shocked expression she'd been wearing when she saw me dangling from the tree moments earlier.

"No," I challenged. "I came to apologize."

"I don't _accept!"_ She put her frigid hands on my stomach and shoved. She didn't move me a single inch, though I knew she had put all of her strength into that push.

I was still dumbfounded by her reaction as I leaned over her, squinting my eyes as I stared at her. She dropped her arms and stepped back, appraising me from head to toe with a frustrated and thoroughly exasperated look on her face.

All of a sudden, her eyes rolled back slightly and her lids drooped, and I caught her as she swayed on the spot.

"Bella?" I whispered, firmly holding onto her upper arms as I directed her backward to the edge of her bed. Once her calves hit the frame, she folded carelessly onto the mattress with her head down and her arms limp at her side.

I bent over her as I scrutinized her face again, cupping her cheeks with my hands and running the pads of my thumbs across them, effectively wiping the previous tears away. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked stupidly.

She looked up at me, and her hopeless expression broke my heart. "Why in the world would I be okay, Jacob?"

The look on her face tore me to pieces.

I swallowed hard, wanting nothing more than to pull her into a tight embrace and hold her tiny, broken self together until she smiled again. But the absence of that smile was all my fault, and that fact made my heart falter, stumbling over its steady tempo.

Somehow, I would fix this.

"Right. Crap." I inhaled deeply, trying to find sufficient words to explain just how sorry I was about this whole mess. Of course, I've never been known to be very eloquent, so I stuttered over a simple, yet very sincere, "I—I'm so sorry, Bella."

She sighed and dropped her gaze. "Why did you come here? I don't want apologies from you, Jake."

I released my hands from her face and straightened up, clearing my throat. "I know," I mumbled. "But I couldn't leave things the way I did this afternoon. That was horrible." I shook my head sadly. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head back. "I don't understand anything."

"I know. I want to explain—" My throat constricted and my tongue froze in place, making me choke on the words that wouldn't dare come out of my mouth. I inwardly cursed Sam's injunction as I took a deep breath. "But I can't explain." I bit back a growl. "I wish I could."

Bella's head fell again, and she raised her limp arms in time to catch her face in her hands. "Why?" she asked quietly.

_Because the Alpha of the pack of werewolves I belong to demands that I keep my mouth shut…?_

For once, honesty was not the best policy.

I knew it would be impossible to tell her, but I'd be damned if I wasn't going to try. So I concentrated, and I opened my mouth, and I concentrated some more, and I pushed and pushed…

Nothing.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked, and her voice broke my concentration. She was looking up at me, her head turned sideways while it was being supported by her left hand.

"I can't do it," I whispered, finally expelling the air I'd been holding in for effort.

"Do what?"

I sighed in defeat, trying to think of any possible way to make her listen and understand.

I suppose I should've known what topic would hold her attention, even if it wasn't exactly my favorite one to discuss.

"Look, Bella, haven't you ever had a secret that you couldn't tell anyone?" I stared at her pointedly, noting that her eyes widened slightly at my question. She knew that I knew something; it was written on her face.

I continued relentlessly. "Something you felt like you had to keep from Charlie, from your mom…? Something you won't even talk about with me? Not even now?"

She wasn't stupid; I could tell she knew what I was talking about. She remained silent as I interrogated her, which further proved what I already knew… but she still wouldn't give the damn leeches up.

I took another deep breath, trying to hide the hopelessness in my voice. "Can't you understand that I might have the same kind of… situation? Sometimes, loyalty gets in the way of what you want to do. Sometimes, it's not your secret to tell."

I wracked my brain for the appropriate way to explain this to her, knowing through it all that one slip up would lead me to being cut off by the damn Alpha edict again.

She looked at me for a long moment before speaking. "I don't know why you came here, Jacob, if you were just going to give me riddles instead of answers."

"I'm sorry," I breathed. "This is so frustrating."

Christ, if she only knew how badly I wanted to tell her what had happened to me. To tell her every single word of the agony I'd been through… to share it with my best friend, my love, my Bella, would be the greatest feeling in the world.

Bella knew all about keeping secrets. She knew the Cullens' secret. Hell, she even knew _my_ secret! But I was sure she'd long forgotten our talk about "scary stories…"

"The part that kills me is that you already _know_. I already _told_ you everything!" I exclaimed, repeating the thoughts in my head.

She looked bewildered. "What are you talking about?"

I paused briefly, contemplating what I had just told her – Bella _did_ already know! – and then I gasped in excitement.

A new route of conversation had suddenly occurred to me; I wondered if she could see the light bulb flick on above my head as the idea hit me like a ton of bricks. I sat down beside Bella, bringing myself face-to-face with her, now wholly unable to hide my excitement.

"I think I see a way to make this work out – because you know this, Bella! I can't tell you, but if you _guessed_ it! That would let me right off the hook!"

"You want me to guess? Guess what?" She blinked twice, trying her hardest to focus. Bella was clearly exhausted, and I wished that this could wait, but I _had_ to at least get her mind working before I left her to her thoughts.

"_My_ secret! You can do it – you know the answer!" I opened my mouth in an attempt to elaborate, but the words I needed so badly to say hit Sam's figurative brick wall before I could even get a syllable out of my throat. "Hold on, let me see if I can give you some help." I fought with my tongue and my vocal chords as I wordlessly panted, struggling to clue her in just a _little_ bit further.

"Help?" she asked, still too tired to comprehend. Her eyelids fluttered rapidly as she attempted to both remain conscious and take in what I was saying.

I was going to need to make this plain as fucking day for my Bells. She was about five minutes away from passing out.

So I tried again, huffing and puffing as I replied, "Yeah, like clues."

I grasped her face between my hands again and leaned impossibly closer. I gazed intently into her eyes, praying that even through her exhaustion she would understand and follow what I knew would be a fragmented train of thought.

"Remember the first day we met – on the beach in La Push?"

"Of course I do."

"Tell me about it," I demanded fervently. I knew that if I were to tell her myself, it would not get her mind working as quickly.

Her eyes tightened in concentration, and I immediately wanted to hug her so hard for putting this effort in for me, for _us_, despite her extreme exhaustion.

"You asked about my truck…" she began.

I nodded.

"We talked about the Rabbit…"

"Keep going," I urged.

"We went for a walk down the beach…" I nodded again, raising my eyebrows, silently pleading for her to continue. "You told me scary stories… Quileute legends."

I closed my eyes, thanking the Big Man Upstairs for the second time that night.

I finally felt _hope_. She would figure this out; I knew she would.

When I opened my eyelids again, I stared directly into her big, brown, overtired eyes and breathed, "Yes," into her face. She gazed back intently as I spoke to her, slowly and determinedly. "Do you remember what I said?"

Her face became impossibly paler in the glow of the moonlight, and I adjusted my left hand from its position on her cheek to caress the smooth, dark circle below her right eye. I held my right hand steady, still cradling the left side of her face. I knew what – or should I say, _whom_? – she was thinking of, and I knew that it would hurt her just as badly as it had when I mentioned them earlier that day. I begged yet again with my eyes for her to please, please focus, and I added, "Think hard," for emphasis.

"Yes, I remember," she responded, her voice softer than a whisper.

I drew a deep breath in, knowing that pushing her towards this infinitely important conclusion would be tough for me and my stupid speech impediment.

Realizing that she would favor one particular story over the other, I tried to nudge her in the right direction. "Do you remember _all_ the stor—" I choked, my mouth wide and unable to finish the sentence.

But I had faith in my brown-eyed girl.

"All the stories?" she finished my thought.

I closed my mouth, pressing my lips into a hard line, and nodded yet again.

As we sat there, staring into each other's eyes, I could almost see the wheels turning as she tried to draw the conclusion that I could not physically give her. Her eyes showed deep concentration first, then a painful longing, and finally, as she shook her head, defeat.

I let go of her face and stood up with a groan.

"You know this, you know this…" I mumbled, pressing my fist to my forehead in hopes of alleviating the pressure there. I paced back and forth, breathing hard with effort.

This type of exhaustion was unfamiliar to my new, extra-resilient body. Even in my human form, I could run for miles and miles and never get tired; hell, I'd scaled to the top of the Swans' spruce like a goddamn spider monkey, even if remaining at the top was a bit of a struggle. But this was a new type of fatigue – it was purely mental, and the impact it had on me physically was a bit disconcerting.

I continued pacing and panting and thinking of ways around our problem until Bella's gentle voice snapped me out of my deliberation.

"Jake? Jake, please, I'm _exhausted_. I'm no good at this right now. Maybe in the morning…"

I inhaled and exhaled deeply as I stopped in my tracks, turning to face her slight form on the bed. As she gazed wearily up at me, I took a moment to really look at Bella.

My eyes roamed her pale face and focused first on the dark circles under her eyes. They were more pronounced than usual tonight, and I wondered how she had been sleeping lately. _Probably not very well since you ditched her, you prick_, my conscience lectured, and I accepted that with a soft sigh. My gaze traveled up to the way her eyelids drooped lazily, now revealing only half of the chocolate-colored orbs I loved so very much. Her cheeks were sallow, and I also noted the way her lips were turned down ever so slightly, not necessarily frowning but definitely not smiling, either.

I sat down next to her on the bed, breaking eye contact to stare intently at my hands in my lap. "Maybe it will come back to you. I guess I understand why you only remember the one story," I allowed, unable to restrain the bitter edge that shaped itself around my words. I paused briefly again as something dawned on me after mentioning that particular story. "Do you mind if I ask you a question about that? I've been dying to know."

"A question about what?" she asked, turning to look at me again.

"About the vampire story I told you," I replied as I looked up, using the "V" word for the first time since that night on the beach.

She peered back at me with a cautious look in her eyes.

I knew a lot about blame. I had blamed a lot of things on a lot of people lately – some were rational, others were not – but throughout everything I'd experienced in the last month, I hadn't acknowledged my own faults in almost anything. This particular question had haunted me ever since I found out that she'd known that the Cullens were bloodsuckers.

And I knew, though I had yet to receive confirmation from Bella, that this one was _all_ on me.

I considered my next statement very carefully before I let it slip off my tongue, knowing that this was going to be very difficult for me to talk about.

"Did you honestly not know?" I asked, carefully monitoring the emotion in my voice. "Was I the one who told you what he was?"

Bella's tired eyes flipped wide and her jaw locked in place, betraying her attempt at silent innocence. I swallowed hard, choking back my feelings without Sam's help this time.

"See what I mean about loyalty? It's the same for me, only worse," I whispered, willing my tears to remain unshed as I closed my eyes. "You can't imagine how tight I'm bound…"

I felt Bella move beside me, and then her fingers were lightly rubbing soothing circles at the base of my neck, along my hairline.

"Isn't there any way for you to get free?" she whispered, her breath tickling my ear.

My hands began to quiver in my lap, so I reached for one of hers to steady myself. "No," I said, swallowing the emotion yet again and allowing her touch to calm me. "I'm in this for life. A life sentence. Longer, maybe."

"No, Jake," she whimpered, allowing the hand that was in my hair to slide down my shoulder a bit before she withdrew it, effectively giving me the chills. "What if we ran away? Just you and me. What if we left home, and left Sam behind?"

Her mention of Sam brought me back to reality, and I realized I hadn't any clue how long I'd been here. I'd gone AWOL, and I was sure Sam had taken notice.

My shoulders and arms joined my hands in their vibrations. "It's not something I can run away from, Bella," I breathed. "I would run with you, though, if I could." I took a deep breath and tried to steady my shaking body. "Look, I've got to leave."

"Why?" she asked, her eyebrows pulling together in concern.

"For one thing, you look like you're going to pass out any second. You need your sleep – I need you firing on all pistons. You're going to figure this out, you have to."

"And why else?"

"I had to sneak out," I admitted with a frown. "I'm not supposed to see you. They've got to be wondering where I am. I suppose I should go let them know."

"You don't have to tell them anything," she said, narrowing her eyes.

"All the same, I will." I sighed, knowing that it was essentially beyond my control; there was no way I would be able to keep from thinking about her at all times, now that we had come so close to reconnecting.

Her expression became fierce. "I _hate_ them!" she nearly yelled, and I recoiled in surprise.

"No, Bella. Don't hate the guys. It's not Sam's or any of the others' faults," I promised her in a calm voice. "I told you before – it's me. Sam is actually… well, incredibly cool. Jared and Paul are great, too, though Paul is kind of…" I grimaced, thinking about Paul's explosive temper before I continued. "And Embry's always been my friend. Nothing's changed there – the _only_ thing that hasn't changed. I feel really bad about the things I used to think about Sam…"

She looked skeptical. "Then why aren't you supposed to see me?"

I tore my eyes from hers and let my head fall forward in shame. "It's not safe," I mumbled. "If I thought it was too… too risky, I wouldn't have come. But Bella," I met her gaze again, "I made you a promise. I had no idea it would be so hard to keep, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try."

Bella looked confused, so I elaborated. "After that stupid movie," I clarified. "I promised you that I wouldn't ever hurt you. …So I really blew it this afternoon, didn't I?"

Her expression softened as she looked back at me. "I know you didn't want to do it, Jake. It's okay."

"Thanks, Bella. I'm going to do what I can to be here for you, just like I promised," I said, smiling for the first time since my arrival and taking her hand in mine again as I steadied my shaking body. "It would really help if you could figure this out on your own, Bella. Put some honest effort into it."

"I'll try."

I sighed heavily. "And I'll try to see you soon. And they'll try to talk me out of that."

"Don't listen to them."

"I'll try." I repeated her oath with a shake of my head. "Come and tell me as soon as you figure it out," I told her, and just as the words came out, something dawned on me.

What if she didn't want to see me? What if she was disgusted and terrified of what I had become? What if, since the wolf was the natural enemy of the vampire, her love for the Cullens overshadowed her feelings for me?

_What if I had to lose her all over again?_

My hands began to shake again, and I stuffed them into the pockets of my cutoff sweats in an effort to control their movement. "If you… if you _want_ to come see me, that is."

"Why wouldn't I want to see you?" she asked in a bewildered tone.

"Oh, I can think of a reason," I grumbled. "Look, I really have to go. Could you do something for me?"

She nodded.

"At least call me – if you don't want to see me again," I choked out. "Let me know if it's like that."

"That won't happen—" she began, but I cut her off with a lift of my hand.

"Just let me know."

I stood and walked somberly toward the window again, debating whether or not to turn around and show her my true feelings – I was way past pride at this point, and to be honest, sobbing like a child while begging for her compassion and understanding didn't seem unreasonable anymore.

Bella interrupted my thoughts. "Don't be an idiot, Jake. You'll break your leg. Use the door. Charlie's not going to catch you."

"I won't get hurt," I mumbled, but I redirected myself and headed toward her bedroom door. I paused as I walked past her bed, finally turning to look at her again with tortured eyes.

My Bells; my love, my life. My strong, determined, stubborn best friend. The girl I knew I was meant to be with because I couldn't possibly live without her – the past month had plainly shown me that much was true.

Bella made me feel whole when I didn't even know I felt… _half_.

So I'd be damned if I was going to let her go, possibly for good, without one more thing to remember her by.

I held out my hand, and she took it without hesitation. I immediately yanked her off her mattress, crushing her against my chest so tightly that her feet lifted off the floor.

I lowered my face to her hair and breathed her in, pulling her impossibly nearer. Her cheek pressed against my heart as I closed my eyes and whispered, "Just in case," into her hair. A tear escaped from the corner of my eye and fell into the brown locks at the top of her head as I embraced her even tighter, not yet ready to let go.

"Can't—breathe!" she gasped, so I quickly loosened my grip and I lowered her to the ground. I kept one hand on her waist and nudged her gently toward the bed with the other, making sure there was no chance of her falling before I withdrew my arms.

Bella looked up at me, brown eyes wide and glassy as she studied my expression. The look of genuine concern on her face gave me a new sense of determination – this would _not_ be the last time I saw my Bella. I needed her too much to lose her.

"Get some sleep, Bells. You've got to get your head working. I know you can do this. I _need_ you to understand. I won't lose you, Bella. Not for this."

I spun around and opened her door, slipping through it quickly and quietly without a backward glance. I padded down the stairs, through their small family room, and out the front door – all without making a single noise. The door closed behind me with a soft _click_, and I strode towards the trees at the edge of her yard.

I was in a hurry to phase because I knew that the longer I was gone, the more likely it was that I was going to get my ass kicked by Sam for disappearing without giving him notice. I wanted to make it into the cover of the forest, though, just in case Bella happened to look out her window. I knew this was unlikely, and that she had quite possibly passed the fuck out the second I left her room, but you can't blame a guy for being careful.

I jogged into the trees, tearing my shorts off and tying them to my leg in one swift motion. The heat blazed down my back the second I made the simple decision to phase, and I was racing toward La Push on four legs in the blink of an eye.

As soon as I tuned in to what I referred to as Wolfpack Radio 108.9 FM, my fur stood on end and my mind was assaulted with innumerable thoughts and emotions from all four of my pack brothers. My name appeared in their minds as they acknowledged my presence in their heads, but it was lost in feelings of panic, anger, frustration and frantic determination. My first instinct was to blurt out an apology, but I quickly realized that none of their feelings regarded my whereabouts very significantly.

Though there were a million visions flying through my head, one on top the other, a single image was recurring. I saw it through the eyes of Sam, through Embry, through Jared and Paul – they were all trying to gather their jumbled thoughts, yet they were all focused on one thing.

The shape of a long, lithe woman with wild red hair raced in front of my brothers, infinitesimally out of reach of their snarling, snapping jaws. She darted to the left and bolted to the right, narrowly avoiding trees and making sure she was never caught. Her head whipped around for a split second to growl back at the wolfpack, but it was long enough for my keen eyes – and Sam's, since I was watching through his head at the moment – to take inventory of her face: Her expression was fierce, accented by her sharp, blindingly-white teeth and deep burgundy irises, which had been flickering back and forth edgily as though they couldn't take in their surroundings fast enough.

I changed my direction from west to northeast, kicking up my speed from gotta-get-home-now to strap-a-jetpack-to-my-tail.

We were chasing a vampire.

_Holy shit! Guys, I'm so sorry, I… Well, I was in Forks and I… Christ, that is a _vampire_! Another goddamn vampire!_ I babbled as I hauled ass toward southwest Port Angeles, discerning their general location through a mental nudge from Embry.

_Jacob, we don't have time for your fucking excuses right now_, Sam growled in such a tone that it caused my ears to flatten against my head. Sam _never_ swore.

As they approached a particularly dense area of trees, the vampire faked right but pulled left instead, nearly causing Jared to hit a tree trunk in the forest they were sprinting through. He recovered quickly, roaring in frustration yet only falling a few steps behind. The pace at which they were running didn't make for an easy rebound rate.

_Just get here _now_, Jacob_, Paul demanded, and I consented without another word.

The wind whipped at my body as I shot at lightning speed to meet the pack and join the chase. As I ran and watched the vampire continually evade my brothers' snapping jaws, I raided their available thoughts in order to catch up on what had happened in the time that I was gone.

My father had received a call that afternoon after Bella left about two hikers in the area that had gone missing. Embry stayed in La Push to protect the village while Sam, Paul and Jared resumed patrols to investigate, since our earlier patrol was cut short by Bella's arrival. While patrolling the forest northeast of Forks, they caught the scent of a vampire and followed it up near the Sol Duc Hot Springs in southwest Port Angeles. The scent was fresh but had faded a bit, indicating that the vampire was no longer in the immediate area. They did come across some blood on the hiking trail, though, and they followed the scent near the road. While examining the area, a woman had spotted Paul and she ran toward the resort, screaming that a giant wolf had attacked her husband, as he was nowhere to be found. Obviously, that wasn't the case, but I suppose you can't blame the woman for thinking that the giant, scary-looking wolf in the area had something to do with her husband's disappearance.

While they continued searching for the trail's most concentrated scent, they told Embry, who was still guarding La Push, to come get me so that I could join. Sam, Paul and Jared phased back to human form briefly so that they could get closer to the resort and still pick up the vampire's scent. Embry had phased back and gone to my house to inform Billy about the situation and wake me up, but he obviously realized that I wasn't in my room. Apparently, it wasn't hard to guess where I was – it was easily confirmed since Bella's face was still fresh in my mind – and there was a hard edge to those particular thoughts in everyone's head. I knew I was in big trouble for leaving; they just weren't going to waste energy yelling at me while there were more pressing matters at hand.

Embry had joined the hunt and they'd successfully found her, as well as three adult bodies drained of blood, a few miles north of the hot springs resort. She had given chase nearly an hour earlier, and as I finally caught up to my brothers I could feel their exhausted determination in every fiber of their being.

The burning scent was overwhelming as the vamp took giant leaps in order to gain some distance from us. I thanked my inability to become physically exhausted as we pushed ourselves harder and faster, but she was still out of reach. Fragmented sentences laced with strings of profanity formed in our individual minds, but only two things were clearly repeated.

_Catch the bloodsucker._

_Kill the bloodsucker._

She ran in an erratic pattern, seemingly testing our agility and defenses. As I mulled this over, realizing it was more than just a technique to avoid capture, Jared spared me a memory of their earlier search.

The vampire's trail near the hot springs had revealed that she'd been running a short distance away and then coming back, following the pack's scent from patrols from the recent past. We knew this because our faded scent had mixed with hers, albeit briefly, and she had touched our scent along its trail at consistent points.

Was she testing us? Testing our guard, our scent trail, looking for a way in?

_A way in to _what_, though?_ I asked. What does she want?

_No idea_, Sam answered, _but we _will_ find out_. He lunged forward and to the side, snapping his jaws but still unable to intercept the leech's path. This one was faster than the male we'd caught near the meadow.

_Speaking of that, Paul was thinking that maybe she was his mate_, Embry added.

Paul snarled in frustration as the vampire took another giant leap, increasing the distance between us yet again. _In our legends_, he growled, _they get fucking pissed if you kill their mate… maybe she wants revenge?_

_The thing is_, Sam said, _her scent was more prominent north of Forks, barely northwest at all. Fuck!_ he roared as her fiery red hair disappeared again into the dense green. We followed, snapping branches and small trees as we hurtled through the brush after her.

_We're nearing the shoreline, guys, so stay close and try to stick to the trees_, Sam warned. _There may not be people around after all, but we can't chance another sighting._

There was resounding agreement as we raced after her, though she was still entirely out of reach. Her evasive pattern had put nearly five yards between us, which was five yards too much for me.

_There's the bay. I can see it_, Sam declared.

We had all spotted the clear water of Freshwater Bay at the same time, and we all harbored the same feeling regarding its approach – this couldn't possibly bode well for our hunt. Vampires had the advantage in the water, what with oxygen being unnecessary.

As though she could read our minds, the bloodsucker cleared the tree line and jetted across the small expanse of open sand. With one vicious look back at us, she plunged head-first into the water, immediately diving so deep that there weren't even any ripples on the surface to indicate her path.

We skidded to a stop just beyond the trees and quickly returned to the cover of the forest, swearing and snarling and howling in heated exasperation.

_I can't fucking believe this!_ Embry wailed.

_Another bloodsucker_, I groaned. _Another goddamn bloodsucker. What do they want? Why are they here?_

_We're going to figure this out_, Sam promised. _Let's stick around for a bit longer, just in case she comes back._

_Yeah, that's likely_, Paul muttered irritably.

_We'll split up and pace the shoreline_, Sam amended. _Jacob and I will head toward Striped Peak, and the rest of you can search east._

So we did just that, separating and sniffing around the coast for the apparently nonexistent trails. After about an hour, the sun began to rise and we decided to head back to La Push – there was no way that the vampire would have stuck around Port A anyway. Sam caught me dwelling on the fact that we had chased her more than halfway to Victoria in British Columbia, and he made a remark in an annoyed tone about how I hadn't been chasing her nearly as long as the rest of the pack had. All of them, including Embry, mumbled their agreements and I sighed.

I figured I might as well get it over with.

_Look, guys. I'm sorry that I left without telling anyone, but it's not like you assholes would have let me go. So I'm sorry for disappearing, but I'm not sorry for going to see Bella._

_That's just the thing, Jacob, you were forbidden to go see her!_ Sam challenged.

_You didn't use your freaky Alpha powers to tell me not to _see_ her, just not to _tell_ her_, I reminded him.

_Goddamnit, Jacob, what the fuck is wrong with you? _Paul exclaimed, newly infuriated by the subject of my absence finally coming up. _When we tell you not to do something, you don't fucking do it!_

_Yeah, Jake, you could have hurt her_, Jared threw in._ And you fucking left La Push without warning. You. Just. Left!_

_What the fuck were you thinking, dude, just up and leaving like that?_ Embry demanded. _You know you can't see Bella, and I thought we closed that door yesterday when she came to your house._

I sighed again. Wolfpack 108.9 wasn't the radio station you wanted to be tuned into if you were one Jacob Black.

_I didn't hurt her!_ I said in an attempt to defend my actions. _I didn't even come close!_

I replayed pieces of my time at Bella's for them, trying to prove my point. I left out the overemotional stuff, and never focused in on my words, other than my apology. I didn't want them to know that I was trying to make her guess what I was.

_But you still could have hurt her_, Sam shot back.

_I can't believe you pulled that shit, Jake, I swear—_ Embry began, but I interrupted him.

_I'M SORRY, OKAY?! I'M SORRY I LEFT!_

_But you're not sorry that you went there in the first place! _Paul argued.

_Alright, ENOUGH_, Sam shouted, his voice echoing in our heads even without the double timbre. _We will finish this discussion tomorr— well, later today, after we all get some rest. We'll need to resume patrols in the afternoon anyway, and we can talk about it then._

_There's nothing left to talk about_, I grumbled.

_Oh, yes, there is_, Sam assured me.

I rolled my eyes. Yelling at Jake was a favorite pastime of my brothers. Usually it was light banter, but I knew they were serious this time.

As we continued our journey home, we talked about the areas that would need to be patrolled. I was reminded that we had to honor the boundary lines that had been made with the Cullens all those years ago, even though they weren't here anymore. This made many of us uneasy, as the redheaded bloodsucker's reeking scent had been picked up in strong concentrations just north of there.

We arrived back in La Push and went our separate ways, agreeing to wake up in a few hours and get back on the hunt. Even if the vampire wasn't around, we wanted a chance to explore the trails and see exactly where she had been so that we could not only try and guess her motives, but place greater protection around those areas in the future.

I phased easily and slipped my cutoffs on as I stepped into my house. It was dark and quiet, but I knocked on my father's bedroom door twice to let him know I was back. I wandered into my room, grinning lightly as I noted that someone had popped the screen back into my window.

I collapsed diagonally onto my bed, pushing the thoughts of the bloodsucker aside in favor of Bella-centric musings, anticipating the conclusion she would eventually come to.

She would figure my secret out – she had to. I had absolute faith in her.

I just hoped that when she did, she still wanted to be part of my life.

* * *

_A/N: __Oh, Jacob, must you be so heartfail? *sighs* Unfortunately, yes, he must. But things will look up for him soon (like I have to tell you that), and I have to say that I'm looking forward to writing HappyJake sooner than later. :)_

_I want to say congratulations to all the Indie TwiFic winners! The site is great way to find some new reading material, so go check out these talented authors and perhaps congratulate them on their win(s) when you leave them glowing reviews. ;)_

_Voting is still open for the Bellies, so go explore those lists as well! My love __**SorceressCirce**__'s fic, Just One of the Guys, is nom'd there, and it is one of my absolutely favorite stories - she is incredibly talented, and she tells an amazing story. Links to both the Indies and the Bellies can be found on my profile._

_I also put a link to a map on my profile, so that you guys can see the lay of the Olympic Peninsula as well as the general route that Victoria's crazy ass took. The Sol Duc Hot Springs is a real resort in southwest Port A, and I included a smaller map of that area as well so that you might get a decent visual of how that went down. For the record, I don't know for __sure__ that she was headed to the city of Victoria, BC; I only know that she was going toward Canada. I just thought that would be ironic. ;)_

_Also, I'm on __**Twitter**__ now. Follow me __**kimbercullen10**__. (kimberlycullen10 was apparently too long.)_

_Reviews are better than the mental image of Jake hanging from a tree (which, in my opinion, is pretty freaking funny). :D_


	9. Looks Like the Wolf's Outta the Bag

**Jake + Bella = not mine. Neither is anything else.**

_A/N: I won't keep you by rambling up here - I've kept you long enough anyway, haven't I?_

_This one's for __**AHelm**__, my amazing beta whom I will be singing and dancing with (and diving head-first into margaritas with) in just a few short days at the Austin City Limits concert. Cheers, love - can't wait to see you!_

* * *

The sun shone weakly through my window as I woke with a start, leaping out of bed and onto the limited amount of floor space that my tiny room provided. I glanced at my clock – 8:43am – and breathed a sigh of relief. I had only slept a couple of hours, and I was sure that if the vampire situation had progressed in any way, someone would have woken me up.

I scrubbed my palms over my face, willing my grogginess away as I opened my bedroom door and stepped into the hallway, straight into the footrest on my father's wheelchair.

"Shit!" I yelled, gripping my shin with my hands and hopping up and down in the hallway on one foot.

Billy chuckled. "You've developed quite a mouth since going wolf, son. I think you were right – those boys are a bad influence," he teased.

"Very funny, Dad," I groaned, leaning against the wall as the purple bruise on my shin began to dissipate before it even had a chance to spread. "Can I ask why you are lurking in the hallway outside my room?"

"I wasn't _lurking_," he said, rolling his eyes. "I was coming to wake you up."

"Why? Did something happen with the guys?" I asked, my mind already readying itself to phase in case there was news about the bloodsucker.

"No, not quite…" He trailed off, looking down at his hands.

"Well, what's going on?"

He met my gaze and said quietly, "Bella stopped by."

"Bella was here?!" I asked excitedly. I pushed past his chair – unharmed this time – and walked toward the front door, ready to head back to Forks to talk to her.

"Easy, Jake. She's still here, sort of," Billy admitted. "She's down at the beach."

"Why didn't you have her wake me up?" I demanded as I continued out the door, not really intending to hear his answer.

I was thrilled – Bella had come to see me; she had figured out my secret! I was immediately convinced, despite my worries from the previous night, that since she had actually come to see me, she had accepted the fact that I was a werewolf and still wanted to stay in my life.

My mind – no, my _heart_ – wouldn't accept the alternative possibility.

"Jake, wait a second!" Billy yelled. I paused mid-stride and turned to look at him, tapping my foot impatiently.

"What, Dad?"

"I just…" he began, sighing heavily before he continued. "I just want you to be careful, Jacob. You should really think this through; this is a very serious matter."

My patience with my father was waning, and I took a step toward First Beach during every second that passed while he talked. It was as though Bella was a magnet and I was being drawn to her – I didn't have time for Billy's nonsense.

"Trust me, Dad, I've thought this through plenty of times. She already knows more than you give her credit for," I pointed out, still walking backwards.

"Jacob Michael, stop walking away from me."

I literally skidded backwards on my heels and stopped in my tracks, stunned that my father had just pulled a Rachel and middle-named me to get my attention.

"Did you just use my full name? Holy crap, you haven't done that since… uh…"

"Since you were seven and your mother informed me that it worked like a charm," he smiled fondly. "Why do you think your sister does it?"

"Well, you must mean business if you're pulling _that_ out. You have my attention, Dad, but make it quick, please…" I bounced on the balls of my feet, ready to take off running at the first sign that he was done talking.

"I just want you to be careful. Once word spreads about the wolf sighting near the Hot Springs, people will be out there ready to protect themselves and their families in any way possible."

I groaned. "Sam mentioned that last night on the run home. We figure that Charlie and his police crew will probably be out there, too… That'll make things _real_ easy on us."

"Yes, that's true. Now I know you can be a bit… _overconfident_ at times, so I just wanted to talk to you before you—"

"Wait, wait, wait. _Me_, overconfident?" I gasped, feigning shock. He laughed. "I'll be fine, Dad. We can take care of ourselves, you know."

"Just be careful. Please look out for Charlie, as well…"

"Come on. He's obviously on our radar… we would never let anything happen to him or any of the other humans out there."

"I know, son, I know. And on that note… are you absolutely sure that getting close to Bella again is a wise—"

"Dad!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands into the air. "I told you – she already knew everything! I'm going to talk to her now, so _goodbye_."

He sighed again. "I suppose it's not like I could stop you from going to see her, anyway. Not even your wolfpack could stop you."

"Damn right they couldn't," I snorted, turning and sprinting down the path to First Beach without another word.

The sun was completely hidden and the clouds were a very depressing shade of grey, and as I raced through the tall grass I hoped the somber sky wasn't a sign of things to come.

_No matter what she says, no matter what happens… you absolutely _cannot_ get mad. _I shuddered at the mere thought of what would happen if I lost control…

_But you need to be positive_, I reminded myself. _She came to see you. If she didn't want to be friends with you, she would have just called to tell you so. She wouldn't be so cruel as to ditch you to your face_.

_Would she?_

I shook my head, tossing out the negative thoughts and slowing my pace to a jog as I approached the shore. I scanned the area, realizing that a normal person would not be able to see very well in the gloomy shadows of the morning. I smirked to myself as I noted that being "not normal" _did_ actually have some perks.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Bella on the same large, white piece of driftwood from the first night we met. She was to my left and in front of me, the wind blowing her long hair away from her face so I could see the expression on her face.

It was a solemn one; her forehead was creased with worry and her lips were pursed as though she was deep in thought. Her brown eyes were troubled, and for the first time since I'd originally lost her, my confidence was shaken to the core.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and I mustered up as much courage as I could, praying my voice wouldn't break and betray me when I spoke.

"Hi, Bella."

She gasped in surprise and squinted at me through the darkness as she replied, "Jake?"

I bit my lip and shifted my gaze to the rocks at my feet, suddenly unable to look her in the eye.

"Billy told me you came by – didn't take you very long, did it? I knew you could figure it out." I shuffled my feet uncertainly and continued to stare at the ground.

The wind carried her whisper to my ears, delivering the words I had wished and hoped and _prayed_ to hear: "Yeah, I remember the right story now."

Bella knew the truth. She knew, and she was standing in front of me, _telling me_ that she knew. She was not running away screaming, she was standing.

_And you are looking at the pebbles on the goddamn sand, you idiot._

I lifted my head but remained silent as I searched her face, looking for any indication that this conversation would go as I hoped it would – as I absolutely needed it to.

The look on her face was decidedly anxious. Her brow was still furrowed with concern, yet there was a great deal of frustration in the lines around her eyes. Her lips remained pursed, her jaw clenched; everything about her demeanor was tense and conflicted.

Inside, I began to panic.

_Bella knows the truth_, I repeated to myself, _but she sure as hell doesn't look like she's okay with it_.

I was having flashbacks of the previous day, readying myself to put on another lame performance of Angry/Frustrated Jake in order to successfully cover up the real me – Hurt/Desperate Jake.

And to be honest, I really _was_ mad at her for coming here again. I had gone to her last night after our, uh, _breakup_, and poured my heart out to her, apologizing and damn near begging her to recall the Quileute legends so she could come back into my life. It was the only way.

Bella had remembered, just as I asked, and now she was here to tell me that we couldn't be friends because I was a goddamn werewolf.

_Fuck. That_.

"You could have just called," I spat, my face twisting into a snarl as I began pacing back and forth in front of her, hands clenched into fists.

"I know," was all she said.

I padded along the rocks, pacing past her and back again. My mind was racing and I was too upset to say anything of real substance.

"Why did you come?" I asked through my teeth.

"I thought it would be better face-to-face."

"Oh, much better," I scoffed disgustedly. I could not fucking _believe_ that this was happening; that I was going to lose her all over again because she finally knew the truth about me.

As usual, Bella ignored my sarcasm and she stood, watching me pace. "Jacob, I have to warn you—"

"About the rangers and the hunters? Don't worry about it. We already know."

"Don't worry about it? Jake, they've got guns! They're setting traps and offering rewards and—"

"We can take care of ourselves," I grumbled, repeating the same assurance I had used with my dad a few minutes earlier. "They're not going to catch anything. They're only making it more difficult – they'll start disappearing soon enough, too." The thought of more innocent people dying at the hands of this crazed bloodsucker made my stomach turn.

"Jake!"

"What? It's just a fact."

Bella narrowed her eyes at me, a look of confusion and disgust plain on her face. "How can you… feel that way? You know these people. Charlie's out there!"

I stopped pacing and stood in front of her. "What more can we do?" I asked, even more hurt than mad at the fact that she thought we weren't doing a good enough job protecting the people of the Olympic Peninsula.

I flexed my hands, stretching my trembling fingers and trying to calm myself down.

"Can you… well, try to not be a… werewolf?" she asked meekly, craning her neck in an attempt to look me in the eye. Her first use of the word, and first real confirmation that she really did know the truth, was overshadowed by the overwhelming betrayal I felt.

My mind was screaming._ I cannot _believe_ this shit!_ _She's chastising _me_ for being a werewolf, yet she _dated_ a motherfucking vampire!_

I threw my hands in the air exasperatedly. "Like I have a choice about it!" I shouted. "And how would that help anything, if you're worried about people disappearing?"

Bella shook her head. "I don't understand you."

_Oh, perfect, because _you're_ being so thoughtfully clear with _your_ intentions_, I thought angrily, balling my shaking hands into fists again.

_She's in love with a vampire, but she can't accept that her best friend's a werewolf._

"You know what makes me so mad I could just _spit?_" I snapped, a low growl rumbling in my chest.

She recoiled in fear and shook her head lightly. Apparently I wasn't even good enough to garner a verbal response.

"You're such a hypocrite, Bella – there you sit, _terrified_ of me! How is that fair?"

"_Hypocrite?_" she countered, her voice rising in pitch. "How does being afraid of a monster make me a hypocrite?"

_So _I'm_ nothing but a monster, but the guy she's in love with drinks blood and that's just fucking _fine_ by her._

"Ugh!" I replied disgustedly. "Would you listen to yourself?"

"What?" she asked incredulously.

I closed the distance between us and leaned over her, my arms shaking violently as I held them firmly at my sides. "Well, I'm so sorry that I can't be the _right_ kind of monster for you, Bella," I sneered. "I guess I'm just not as great as a bloodsucker, am I?"

"No, you're not!" she yelled back, and it felt like a knife through my heart. I took an unsteady step away from her just as she added, "It's not what you _are_, stupid, it's what you _do!_"

_What? Now she's going to give me riddles that sound like they came from a goddamn after-school special?_

"What's that supposed to mean?" I thundered back, throwing my hands toward the sky in confused exasperation.

She did not open her mouth to yell back, and I was thankful because I knew I needed to take a moment to calm the fuck down.

_I will not prove my brothers right by letting my temper get to me. I will stay controlled. And, most importantly, I will not prove Bella right – I'm not a monster. I won't let this animal control me, goddamnit._

I lowered my arms back down to my sides. _Oh, good. Now I sound like a self-help tape._

Suddenly, Bella blinked, seemingly surprised by something. She visibly calmed down almost immediately, speaking to me in a soft voice.

"Jacob… Is it really necessary to _kill_ people? Isn't there some other way? I mean, if vampires can find a way to survive without murdering people…" The corner of my mouth twitched in irritation at her typical glorification of the fucking leeches as she continued. "Then couldn't you give it a try, too?"

Her last words shot right through me, straight to my already-bewildered brain. I stared at her, dumbfounded into a silent stupor.

_What. The. Fuck?_

Could this all be a misunderstanding? A misunderstanding between Bella and I was certainly not unheard of. Hell, a misunderstanding between me and _anyone_ wasn't exactly rare these days.

"Killing people?" I finally asked. My voice still had a hard edge to it, but I was no longer shaking. In that moment, I was too baffled to truly be angry.

"What did you think we were talking about?" she asked, looking almost as confused as I felt.

"_I_ thought we were talking about your disgust for werewolves."

"No, Jake, no. It's not that you're a… wolf." She stumbled over the word a bit, but continued in a serious, concerned tone. "If you could just find a way not to hurt people… that's all that upsets me. These are just innocent people, Jake, people like Charlie, and I can't just look the other way while you—"

"Is that all? Really?" I cut her off because I couldn't take it any longer; I had to set things straight. Bella really didn't care that I was a wolf, and this entire conversation thus far had, indeed, been one big mistake.

I was going to clear this up right the fuck now, before I gave in to my emerging mood and flailed about in a fit of joy, effectively embarrassing the shit out of myself in front of the girl I loved.

And I did. I loved her _so_ much.

It was for that reason that I continued, in elated disbelief. "You're just scared because I'm a murderer? That's the only reason?" I chuckled lightly at the thought – you can't murder the undead.

"Isn't that reason enough?" she asked in all seriousness.

I burst out laughing, unable to control this sudden surge of happiness.

_Bella doesn't care that I'm a wolf! She doesn't caaaare!_

"Jacob Black, this is _so_ not funny!"

"Sure, sure," I rolled my eyes, still laughing, as I stepped toward her and lifted her off the ground, spinning her in a circle, even happier just to be holding her again.

"You really, honestly don't mind that I morph into a giant dog?" I asked, just to be sure. If this was some sort of sick joke, I was going to pitch myself off a cliff.

_Wait, that won't work…_

"No," she answered breathlessly. "Can't–breathe–Jake!"

I set her back on the ground, but I wasn't ready to let go. As I steadied her, my hands ran down her arms to her fingers, which I gripped tightly in my own.

I looked her straight in the eye, and with a grin I said, "I'm not a killer, Bella."

Her eyes roamed my face, studying every feature, trying to decide whether or not I was lying. I wanted to tell her that after the last time I was forced to try and lie to her it damn near killed me, so I'd never be doing that again. Ever.

Instead, I kept quiet, letting her see the truth plain on my face. After a few seconds, she asked, "Really?"

"Really," I assured her, giving a slight nod for emphasis.

Bella threw her arms around my neck. I stood up straight, lifting her easily off the ground again. I hugged her in a way that was sure to keep us close, but would still allow her adequate breathing room.

See? I've been known to compromise on occasion.

"Sorry I called you a hypocrite," I whispered, removing one arm from her waist to run my hand through her long hair.

It was a moment I would never forget – I felt lighter somehow, like a thousand pounds had lifted from my chest. The feeling of Bella in my arms was unparalleled – it was as if she was made to fit right there; like we were made for each other.

She was perfect. She was home.

Of course, she was also my Bells, so she interrupted my sentimental moment by mumbling, "Sorry I called you a murderer."

I laughed and squeezed her tighter, so entirely overwhelmed by happiness that I was positive the goofy grin that stretched across my face would remain there until the end of time. I set her back down on the ground and looked into her beautiful brown eyes, feeling impossibly happier knowing that we were standing there with no secrets or lies between us.

We were finally us again – we were simply Jake and Bella. Sure, life was anything but "simple" these days, but I knew one thing for sure: Bella would always be the one constant in my life. She would always be my brown-eyed girl.

Bella looked back at me, suddenly concerned as she said, "What about Sam? And the others?"

"Of course not," I promised her with a shake of my head, still smiling from ear to ear. "Don't you remember what we call ourselves?"

"Protectors?" she answered immediately. My heart pulled a Grinch move and swelled to three times it's size at the fact that she remembered that detail.

"Exactly," I said simply.

"But I don't understand," she admitted. "What's happening in the woods? The missing hikers, the blood?"

I was brought back down to earth when she spoke, the enormity of the vampire situation we were facing crashing down on me.

"We're trying to do our job, Bella. We're trying to protect them, but we're always just a little too late," I answered honestly.

"Protect them from what? Is there really a bear out there, too?"

"Bella, honey, we only protect people from one thing – our one enemy. It's the reason we exist – because they do," I explained, using Sam's words from the night of our first pack meeting.

Although she was still looking at me, her eyes became unfocused, her face increasingly whiter as the seconds ticked by. A sort of strangled whimper tumbled from her lips and she swayed on the spot. She righted herself just as I was reaching out to steady her.

I nodded solemnly, trying to ignore the sting of betrayal I felt when I remembered that she knew about the Cullens all along. "I thought you, of all people, would realize what was really going on," I said.

"Laurent," she breathed. "He's still here."

_Laurent? That's a funny word._

I tilted my head in confusion. "Who's Laurent?"

Bella's brow was furrowed as she concentrated on making her explanation understandable through her apparent fear. "You know," she told me. "You saw him in the meadow. You were there… You were there, and you kept him from killing me."

"Oh, the black-haired leech? Was that his name?" I smiled at the memory of ripping the bloodsucker apart, piece-by-piece, and personally burning the appendage that came closest to hurting her.

A chill seemed to run up her spine before she grew serious, eyeing me pointedly.

I rolled my eyes; knowing that a Bella-lecture was coming. It was a true testament to my feelings for her that I could honestly say I missed having her yell at me.

"What were you thinking?!" she began, and I smiled to myself. I knew her so well. "He could have killed you! Jake, you don't realize how dangerous—"

I barked out a laugh, unable to contain my amusement. "Bella, one lone vampire isn't much of a problem for a pack as big as ours. It was so easy, it was hardly even fun!" I laughed again as I recalled our somewhat embarrassing display of celebratory howling after we'd killed the leech.

"What was so easy?" she asked, looking honestly curious.

"Killing the bloodsucker who was going to kill you," I replied with a shrug. "Now, I don't count that towards the whole murder thing. Vampires don't count as people."

I was sure that her blatant gaping was a result of my biting wit, but as she struggled to get her words out I began to second guess myself.

"You… killed… Laurent?"

"Well, it was a group effort."

"Laurent is dead?" she mumbled in astonishment. I nodded slowly, somewhat confused by her reaction.

"You're not upset about that, are you?" I asked cautiously. "He was going to kill you – he was going for the kill, Bella, we were sure about that before we attacked. You know that, right?"

She swallowed hard and took a few steps backward, sinking down onto the driftwood once again. "I know that," she assured me. "No, I'm not upset – I'm… Laurent is dead. He's not coming back for me."

"You're not mad?" I asked again, eyeing her speculatively. "He wasn't one of your… _friends_ or anything, was he?"

I'll admit, I had to take a few steadying breaths after referring to a bloodsucker as a potential friend of Bella's.

"My friend?" she repeated, looking up at me from her seat on the driftwood. I watched as her eyes got glassy, her emotions beginning to get the best of her. "No, Jake. I'm so… so _relieved_."

I blinked twice, trying to make sense of what she was telling me. I didn't have to try for very long, however, because once she began talking again it was like a faucet running – a steady stream of words poured out of her mouth, as though she had been harboring these feelings for too long without telling anyone.

I felt a stab of guilt as she carried on her account. "I thought he was going to find me – I've been waiting for him every night, just hoping that he'd stop with me and leave Charlie alone. I've been so frightened, Jacob…"

I felt like a grade-A asshole for leaving her, alone and scared, for so long. I sat down next to her and pulled her close, wrapping my oversized arms around her in an effort to try and make her feel safe again.

"…But _how?_ He was a vampire! How did you kill him? He was so strong, so hard, like marble…"

Bella's eyes had again taken on the unfocused quality I'd seen moments earlier; her mind was clearly a million miles away. I tightened my grip on her shoulders, trying to bring her back to the present. "It's what we're made for, Bells. We're strong, too. I wish you would have told me that you were so afraid. You didn't need to be," I reassured her.

"You weren't around," she muttered absently.

_Shameful!_

"Oh, right," I uttered lamely.

"Wait, Jake," she said, suddenly snapping out of her trance. "I thought you knew, though. Last night, you said it wasn't safe for you to be in my room. I thought you knew that a vampire might be coming. Isn't that what you were talking about?"

It took me a second to remember the specifics of what I'd said, but once I did, my head fell forward as I looked at the ground in shame.

"No, that's not what I meant," I replied.

"Then why didn't you think it was safe for you there?"

I knew was going to have to tell her the reason my brothers wanted me to stay away from her, the real purpose for the weeks of avoidance.

I was going to have to tell Bella that I was dangerous.

I pulled away from her slightly, just enough so that I was able to look into her eyes. I swallowed hard, prepared to fully explain my new life to her.

"I didn't say it wasn't safe for _me_. I was thinking of _you_."

"What do you mean?"

I broke eye contact to look down at the ground again, uncomfortably nudging a few pebbles with my bare foot.

_This is what you've been waiting for, dude. Now is no time to be at a loss for words._

"There's more than one reason I'm not supposed to be around you, Bella," I admitted, taking a deep breath and trying to ready myself for her reaction. "I wasn't supposed to tell you our secret, for one thing, but the other part is that it's not safe for you. If I get too mad… too upset… you might get hurt."

Her eyebrows knitted together as she considered this, and she spoke sooner than I thought she would. "When you were mad before… when I was yelling at you… and you were shaking…?"

Christ, she was quick. _Sometimes I don't give her enough credit_.

"Yeah," I whispered, ducking my head even more to further avoid her gaze. "That was pretty stupid of me. I have to keep a better hold on myself. I swore I wasn't going to get mad, no matter what you said to me. But… I just got so upset that I was going to lose you… that you couldn't deal with what I am…" I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence as the agonizing thought of losing her constricted inside my chest painfully.

"What would happen… if you got too mad?" she asked tentatively.

"I'd turn into a wolf," I murmured back.

"You don't need a full moon?"

I breathed a soft laugh and rolled my eyes. "Hollywood's version doesn't get much right."

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a smile gently tugging at the corners of her mouth.

I sighed again. "You don't need to be so stressed out, Bells. We're going to take care of this. And we're keeping a special eye on Charlie and the others – we won't let anything happen to him. Trust me on that."

I kicked at the rocks near my feet while I waited for her response. After thirteen seconds of silence, I finally looked up at her.

As I did this, she gasped. "Laurent is dead," she choked out, and I watched the color drain from her face.

"Bella?" I lightly brushed her ice-cold cheek with the back of my hand, trying to figure out where her agitation was rooted this time. I had told her Laurent was dead, and there was no possible way he was coming back for her.

"If Laurent died… a week ago… then someone else is killing people _now_," she breathed, leaning a bit closer into my side.

I gave her one quick, hard nod of agreement, and I began telling her what I knew about the circumstances surrounding the bloodsucker we'd chased the night before. I explained that we assumed the female was Laurent's mate because she looked pretty damn vengeful, and we couldn't come up with another reason for her sudden appearance. I became aware of the fact that I was more or less talking out loud to myself once I began describing the way she seemed to be testing our defenses by crossing our scent and then evading it again, but I was used to people not listening once I got to rambling. Just as I was justifying Sam's logic on the female leech's possible intentions to separate us, though, I felt her move away from me, leaning towards the opposite end of the log.

Bella slumped forward and began shaking violently. She was visibly choking on… nothing, as she repeatedly gasped and fought for air.

"Bella!" I yelled, wrapping my left arm around her shoulders to keep her from falling off the driftwood. I wrapped the other arm around her as well and pulled her up, completely panicking. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"Victoria," she wheezed. I gathered her in my lap, brushing her hair off her clammy forehead and gently laying her head on my shoulder. She shivered and I pulled her tighter against my body.

I held her as I fought to control the wave of panic that had overwhelmed me. "Who?" I asked. "Can you hear me, Bella? Bella?"

"She wasn't Laurent's mate; they were just old friends…" She nuzzled into my neck, and I cradled her small form and rocked us back and forth slowly, hoping to calm her.

"Do you need some water? A doctor?" I asked, still frantic. "Tell me what to _do_."

"I'm not sick—I'm scared," she whimpered. I rubbed her back soothingly and felt another shudder roll down her spine.

"Scared of this Victoria?"

_Scared_ seemed to be an understatement – Bella was positively terrified.

But she nodded quickly, wordlessly.

"Victoria is the red-haired female?"

My specifics triggered another shiver, and at that point I didn't really need the whispered confirmation that followed.

"How do you know she wasn't his mate?" I asked softly, running my hands up and down her trembling back.

"Laurent told me James was her mate." She twitched as she said the second name.

I gently cupped her cheek in my left hand and drew her slightly away from my shoulder so I could look at her face. I gazed into her eyes as I spoke, noting that the following information would be seriously important to our hunt for this Victoria leech.

"Did he tell you anything else, Bella? This is important. Do you know what she wants?"

"Of course," she moaned. "She wants _me_."

My right hand, which had been rubbing her back steadily, trembled in its now stationary position on her spine.

"Why?" I growled, hoping to God that she was somehow mistaken.

The look in her eyes told me that she was certain, though, and she took a shaky breath as she explained. "Edward killed James. She did get… pissed off. But Laurent said she thought it was fairer to kill me than Edward. Mate for mate. She didn't know – still doesn't know, I guess – that… that…" She started gasping again, and I held her tighter as another shudder rocked her frame. "That things aren't like that wish us anymore. Not for Edward, anyway."

_Aw, hell…_

What was I supposed to say to that? I knew what it did to her to even _think_ of her bloodsucker, let alone speak of him out loud… and for that, I appreciated her admissions even more. I couldn't help my curiosity, though, as I rarely could, so I asked, "Is that what happened? Why the Cullens left?"

"I'm nothing but a human, after all," she mumbled in a small voice, shrugging hopelessly. "Nothing special."

A dark, dangerous sound ripped through my in my chest. _The nerve of that asshole, leaving her broken like this; leaving her to think that she's worth nothing_… "If that idiot bloodsucker is honestly stupid enough—"

"Please," she begged breathlessly. "Please. Don't."

I bit my tongue and hesitantly nodded, knowing it would only hurt her further if I continued my rant.

"This is important," I repeated, shaking off the feelings of hatred I harbored for her stupid leech as I returned to business. "This is exactly what we need to know. We've got to tell the others right away."

I pulled her off my lap and stood us both up, holding her steady around her waist. "I'm okay," she lied, but I clasped her hand in mine anyway and began to pull her gently along the shoreline, in the direction of her truck.

Bella needed to tell the pack everything she knew about this Victoria bitch, and she needed to do it as soon as fucking possible. I realized the smart thing to do would be to call a pack meeting, but I was admittedly nervous about her being around the guys after my, uh, _indiscretion_ involving her the night before.

"Where are we going?" she asked as we walked up to the Chevy.

"I'm not sure yet," I confessed. "I'll call a meeting. Hey, wait here for just a minute, okay?" I let go of her hand and leaned her against the driver's side door, turning toward the forest that bordered the parking lot along First Beach that she'd pulled into.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back." I took off across the parking lot and into the trees, sprinting past the ferns and logs that littered my path until I was sure I wouldn't be seen. I heard Bella call my name from her place at the truck, but I knew had to talk to my brothers before I returned to her.

I stripped my cut-offs from my body in one fluid motion and threw them on the ground, briefly thinking back to the cute little folded pile Embry had made with his clothes the day I attended my first pack meeting.

_Embry's such girl sometimes._

_Am not!_ Embry's dissatisfied voice echoed in my mind and scared the shit out of me in the process.

_Jesus, way to sneak up on a guy_, I muttered, realizing I had barely given a thought to phasing before my mind had simply made it happen.

_You can't 'sneak up' on anyone inside their own head, dickwad_, he pointed out.

_Touché_, I allowed.

_You are already late for patrols, Jacob_, Sam stated, which also startled me a bit. I finally took a moment to realize that that the whole pack was present in my mind, trolling my recent memories for information that I wasn't ready to give them quite yet.

_Are you on your way? _Sam asked. I felt him look through my eyes to discern my whereabouts, so I knew I had to make this quick.

I put a mental roadblock up. _Can we meet in our usual spot? I have some information that I think will be useful for the bloodsucker situation._

_What kind of information?_ Paul prodded. _Did Billy have something to tell you when you woke up this morning?_

_Uh, yeah. Something like that. Just meet me at the usual, alright?_

_For a guy who refuses to claim his rightful place as Alpha, you sure seem comfortable ordering us around_. Sam's sardonic tone was less than amused.

_Trust me on this one_, I pleaded. More than one of them snorted sarcastically in response, and I groaned. _Seriously, guys. I have valuable fucking information!_

_Fine. Start running now, and we'll meet you_, Sam instructed, but they sensed that I was about to phase back.

_Where are you going?_ Embry asked.

_IhavetotellBillysomethingbye_, I rattled off. I phased back to human form and pulled my shorts onto each leg, hopping and stumbling forward in my haste.

I raced back to the truck to find Bella inside, her hand firmly pressed against the lock. I knocked lightly on the window and she nearly jumped out of her skin, emitting a high-pitched squeal until she saw that I was the one on the other side of the glass.

_Leaving Bella alone right after she learned that there's a sadistic vampire out to get her… um, not one of your brightest ideas, Jake._

Her fingers shook as she unlocked the door, and I hurried to the passenger's side and slid in. "You're really scared, aren't you?"

She turned to face me and nodded meekly.

"Don't be," I assured her. "We'll take care of you – and Charlie, too. I promise."

I had never meant anything more in my life.

She responded in a soft yet steady voice. "The idea of you finding Victoria is scarier than the idea of her finding me."

I laughed out loud. "You've got to have a little more confidence in us than that. It's insulting."

She shook her head exhaustedly. "Where did you go just now?"

I bit my lip hesitantly, trying to come to terms with the fact that if she was going to understand what I was then she would need the whole story.

_Yes, that includes the crazy mind reading stuff, jackass. Now spit it out; this is Bells you're talking to here._

"What?" she asked, noticing my sudden uncertainty. "Is it a secret?"

"Not really." _Liar_. "It's kind of weird, though. I don't want to freak you out."

"I'm sort of used to weird by this point, you know."

She offered me a small smile, and it was then I knew for certain that she _was_ going to accept me, creeptastic wolf-disorder and all. This, of course, made me grin like a fucking idiot.

"Guess you'd have to be," I agreed. "Okay. See, when we're wolves, we can… hear each other." She made a face; she didn't understand. "Not hear sounds, but we can hear… _thoughts_ – each other's anyway – no matter how far away from each other we are."

I knew this to be true, actually, because we had tested the boundaries of our mindfreakiness one boring night a few weeks back. Embry and I ran over 300 miles north, up near Alaska, while the rest of the guys remained in La Push. Just as we suspected, Paul's stupid voice still rang as clear as a fucking bell in our heads, even across a distance that vast.

"It really helps when we hunt," I continued, "but it's a big pain otherwise. It's embarrassing – having no secrets like that. Freaky, eh?"

"Is that what you meant last night, when you said you would tell them you'd seen me, even though you didn't want to?"

I said it out loud this time: "You're quick."

I was rewarded with another smile. "Thanks."

"You're also very good with weird. I thought that would bother you."

"It's not… well, you're not the first person I've know who could do that. So it doesn't seem weird to me."

"Really?" I asked in surprise. Then it hit me – who the hell else would she have learned 'weird' from? "Wait – are you talking about your bloodsuckers?"

"I wish you wouldn't call them that."

Again, I couldn't stop myself from laughing. "Whatever. The Cullens, then?"

"Just…" she began, seemingly shrinking inward as she snaked her left arm around her torso. "Just Edward."

Well, I sure as shit didn't see _that_ coming.

"I thought those were just stories," I groaned. "I've heard legends about vampires who could do… extra stuff, but I thought that was just a myth." God knows we brushed them off as such.

Then again, I didn't believe much in the way of mythology until the night I burst into a giant ball of fur in my living room.

Just as I was contemplating mind readers, Bella went all telepathic on me by saying, "Is anything just a myth anymore?"

_Ugh_. "I guess not. Okay, we're going to meet Sam and the others at the place we go to ride our bikes."

She turned the key, which was already in the ignition. The engine sputtered to life and she drove quickly out of the parking lot.

"So did you just turn into a wolf now, to talk to Sam?" she asked nonchalantly.

My cheeks felt hot as I nodded sheepishly. "I kept it real short – I tried not to think about you so they wouldn't know what was going on. I was afraid Sam would tell me I couldn't bring you."

_No, you _know_ Sam would tell you that you couldn't bring her. And that's not all he'd have to say on the matter, either…_

"That wouldn't have stopped me," she said defiantly, and I chuckled lightly.

"Well, it would have stopped _me_," I replied. "Remember how I couldn't finish my sentences last night? How I couldn't just tell you the whole story?"

"Yeah, you looked like you were choking on something."

"Close enough," I groaned. "Sam told me I couldn't tell you. He's… the head of the pack, you know. He's the Alpha. When he tells us to do something, or not to do something – when he really means it, well, we can't just ignore him."

"Weird," she said under her breath.

"Very. It's kind of a wolf thing."

"Huh," she breathed thoughtfully.

"Yeah, there's a load of stuff like that – wolf things," I informed her matter-of-factly. I paused, taking a second to note that it actually felt good to tell her these things, the things I'd been holding on for so long. It was different telling her this stuff… with Bella, I could really be myself. She always made me comfortable enough to just… _be_.

I continued talking while she drove, explaining briefly my horrified thoughts from when I phased the first time, and even comparing my experience to Sam's. I knew how she felt about him, and when I looked at things from her perspective, I didn't really blame her for hating him. After everything I'd told her about him and his supposed "cult" before I'd phased, coupled with the fact that when I started ditching her I was with him every single day… well, it didn't exactly paint him in the best light.

I would tell her the truth about everything, though. No more secrets, no more lies. We were just Jake and Bells again, and I couldn't possibly be happier.

…Okay, I could've probably been happier if there wasn't an undead psycho-bitch stalking her. But with the new information about bloodsuckers she was going to give us, I was confident we would be able to hunt this Victoria down and rip her to shreds, just like we'd done with her pal Laurent.

"Will they be angry that I'm with you?" Bella asked softly after I'd finished talking a bit more about Sam.

"Probably," I admitted with a grimace.

"Maybe I shouldn't—"

"No, it's okay. You know a ton of things that can help us. It's not like you're just some ignorant human. You're like a… I don't know, a spy or something. You've been behind enemy lines."

She frowned slightly as a mental image of Bella creeping around the forest as a secret agent popped into my head. I grinned.

"Like the stuff about the mind-reading bloodsucker," I continued, the smile fading from my face immediately. "That's the kind of thing we need to know about. That really sucks that _those_ stories are true. It makes everything more complicated," I said honestly. "Hey, do you think this Victoria can do anything special?"

"I don't think so," she said simply, making a face. "He would have mentioned it."

"He? Oh, you mean Edward—oops, sorry. I forgot." _Smooth move, idiot_. "You don't like to say his name. Or hear it."

She bit her lip. It trembled slightly when she replied, "Not really, no."

"Sorry," I said sheepishly. She pulled the truck onto the dirt road where I'd taught her to ride her motorcycle. It felt like a million years ago.

"How do you know me so well, Jacob? Sometimes it's like you can read my mind."

_I fucking wish_. "Naw. I just pay attention."

"This good?" she asked, slowing the car down and coasting to the side of the road.

"Sure, sure." I mumbled, lost in thought. I had hoped that time would heal her broken heart even the slightest but, but I saw what it did to her every time she had to talk about him, or when my stupid ass mentioned him by accident like I had moments before. Her left arm was still wrapped tightly around her midsection, and she literally looked like she was in pain. I frowned, wondering if there was something I could do or say…

Bella cut the engine, and we were left in complete silence.

"You're still pretty unhappy, aren't you?" I asked softly, not sure if it was okay to talk about him. But I was in love with this girl; I would do anything to make her happy, give her anything in the world that she wanted. So I had to try.

She nodded slowly, a completely blank look on her face.

"Do you ever think… that maybe… you're better off?"

God, I was so bad at this.

"No," she exhaled softly.

"Cause he wasn't the best—"

"Please, Jacob," she moaned. "Could we please not talk about this? I can't stand it."

"Okay," I agreed immediately. "I'm sorry I said anything."

"Don't feel bad. If things were different, it would be nice to finally be able to talk to someone about it."

I nodded seriously. "Yeah, I had a hard time keeping a secret from you for two weeks. It must be hell to not be able to talk to _anyone_."

_I'm not just _anyone_, though_, I thought solemnly. _I could be her… _someone_. I could be her everything._

She repeated my description, tearing me from my wistful inner-monologue. "Hell."

I had barely listened to her, though, because I heard rustling in the trees nearly a half-mile into the forest.

_Crap_.

"They're here," I muttered. "Let's go."

I slid out of my seat and walked to the driver's side, opening her door. "Are you sure?" she asked, looking up at me with hesitant eyes. "Maybe I shouldn't be here."

_She's nervous, which means _you_ can't be. Quit acting like a pussy and man the fuck up. You morph into a giant wolf, for God's sake._

I stood up a little bit straighter. "They'll deal with it," I said with a grin. "Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf?"

"Ha ha," she retorted dryly, but there was a ghost of a smile on her lips.

We stopped to stand in front of the truck, facing the trees. I could hear eight regular footsteps, not sixteen paws, as they headed in our direction. I knew she couldn't see them yet, but Bella cowered into my side, quivering anxiously.

I reached for her hand and grasped it tightly. "Here we go."

* * *

_A/N: If you're reading this, it's probably safe to assume that you haven't boycotted Jake and I for going AWOL for so damn long. Truth is, real life is a bitch sometimes and I just didn't have much room for quality time with our favorite wolf since my last update... had to go all fic-fail for a while. But I promise I'm back, and I'll be updating much more often as well as responding to your reviews - I haven't forgotten! Hell no. I've missed you guys so much!_

_I do want to address something else in the meantime, though. I've gotten many PMs and/or reviews asking if Jake and Bella will end up together. This is meant to be a canon interpretation of New Moon, with a little more snark and sarcasm a la Jake's POV. I do appreciate that y'all like "my version" of Jake so much that you want him to end up with Bella in the end, though. It means a lot to me!_

_Thanks, as always, for reading, my lovelies. We broke 100 reviews with last chapter - I am so happy! Thank you soo much again. I hope my lack of updates hasn't broken your faith in me enough to make you want to stop reviewing... *wink, wink*_


	10. Yep, the Werewolf Loves the Vampire Girl

**I own nothing; Jake owns me. Le sigh.**

_**A/N:** Thanks to my beautiful beta, __**AHizelm**__, who helps keep Jake and me in check. Love you, bb._

_Apologies from me come after a few words from one Jacob Michael Black. Hope you enjoy. :)_

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With the way Bella was trembling and shrinking into my left side, you would have thought we were waiting for an executioner to come take us away. I knew this wouldn't exactly go over smoothly, but I was at least hoping to make them stop and listen to me before they went all irrational and blew their tops.

...Or burst into oversized wolves. You know, whatever.

I tensed the slightest bit, hoping Bella didn't notice, as I heard them approaching swiftly through the forest. I knew they were anxious to find out what my cryptic, hurried message to them from a few moments earlier had meant … and I suppose I didn't blame them for wanting answers. I hadn't exactly been acting like myself lately because of the craptastic situation with Bella, so I hoped when they saw her, they would just be happy for me and listen patiently while I explained what was going on.

_Dream on, man._

_Fuck you, inner-monologue. It could happen. _

But when they stepped through the trees and onto the road opposite Bella and me, I knew for sure that I had been kidding myself.

The four of them stalked toward us, glaring at me intently... suspiciously, even. Once they spotted Bella clinging to my torso, however, their expressions became that of outraged disbelief, one after the other – Jared, Paul, Sam, and then Embry – and they stopped dead in their tracks.

I let go of her hand and instead draped a protective arm around her, gritting my teeth together and breathing deeply in an effort to stay calm.

This would not end well.

"What have you done, Jacob?" Sam demanded, reining in the fury I saw building beneath his carefully-controlled facade.

I opened my mouth to reply, but was interrupted by Paul's stupid ass, who pushed past Sam rather rudely to stand just a bit closer to me, emphasizing the fact that he was really fucking pissed by throwing his hands in the air like a child.

I rolled my eyes.

"Why can't you just follow the rules, Jacob?!" he shouted. "What the hell are you thinking? Is she more important than everything – than the whole tribe? Than the people getting killed?"

"She can _help_," I promised. I looked past Paul's trembling form to Sam, almost beseechingly, as I silently pleaded for his understanding.

"Help!" Paul barked, causing my attention – and everyone else's – to snap back to him. He was clenching his shaking fists at his side. "Oh, that's likely! I'm sure the leech-lover is just _dying_ to help us out!"

"Don't talk about her like that!" I snapped, removing my arm from Bella's shoulders to ready myself, just in case this was going where it _looked_ like it was going... where it always went when Paul got upset. If a tiny, innocent kitten happened to look at Paul the wrong way, he lost his cool and went wolf. That was just Paul.

As if on cue, a shudder rolled down his spine.

"Paul!" Sam cautioned, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. "Relax!"

Paul whipped his head back and forth twice, in what I assumed was an attempt to calm down and quit acting like a complete psycho.

Shock of all shocks: it didn't work.

"Jeez, Paul," Jared muttered, looking both slightly embarrassed and completely exasperated. "Get a grip."

Paul's face twisted into a snarl as he quickly glanced over at Jared, and then turned back to glare Bella, his expression only becoming more fierce.

I narrowed my eyes, stepping directly in front of her to break his eye contact. This was Paul's problem with _me_, not Bella. She was innocent here, and I wouldn't have him look at her with such hatred for even one second longer.

"Right, protect _her!_" Paul roared. An entirely irate, animalistic growl ripped viciously through his clenched teeth as he threw his head back.

_Fuck_._ Fuck, fuck, fuck._

"Paul!" Sam and I yelled in unison, trying to bring him back to Earth, but it was too late.

Paul twisted and writhed where he stood, his shape blurring until the force of it looked like it was knocking him to the ground. There was the distinct sound of tearing fabric as he landed on four paws, bearing his teeth with a snarl.

I took off, sprinting toward him just as he hit the ground.

Bella screamed my name as I ran, and a distant part of my mind realized that she would actually witness me phase for the first time right here, right now, in this seemingly terrifying situation. _I_ knew there was no danger – I was physically both bigger and stronger than Paul, and besides, I could kick his sorry ass with three paws tied behind my back – but I was sure that seeing me like this would shake her to the core.

But I did it anyway, because there was no way in hell I was going to let him get any closer to Bella.

I leapt forward, rapidly closing the distance between Paul and me. Mid-air, I felt the heat blaze down my spine, and by the time I landed I was charging Paul in wolf form.

_PAUL! Back. The. Fuck. Off. NOW! _I ordered, absently marking this moment as the first and only time I'd really wished I was the Alpha.

_What the fuck is wrong with you, Jacob?! _he yelled back._ How could you bring her here?_

_Don't you _dare_ move one _single_ step closer to her!_

Paul was crouched, ready to spring when I'd reached him, so I shoved my body against his to force him backward, away from Bella. I heard her scream my name again, and a small part of my brain regretted not being able to give her sufficient warning that this might happen.

The more coherent part of me, however, was focused on the snarling silver wolf that was still trying to push past me.

Paul shoved back, snapping his teeth near my mane. His thoughts were becoming less and less focused on Bella and more on his growing frustration that I was winning this fight.

Though this recognition of sorts comforted me a little bit, I refocused and snapped back, pushing him back toward the trees with my right shoulder.

He growled again and held his ground against me. _What the fuck is your problem, Jacob? Why can't you ever listen to anything we tell you to do? Or, _fuck,_ what we tell you _not_ to do?!_

I lowered my head and used the top of my muzzle to drive him backward again with a low bark, refusing to answer his stupid fucking questions. A constant stream of profanities jumbled his head as we made it into the cover of the trees. He continued to struggle against me, still growing angrier by the second that I was so much stronger than him.

_You're not _stronger_, asshole_, Paul scoffed as he listened to my thoughts. _You're a weak, lovesick teenager who won't let go of a girl who will never belong to you! _

_Shut the fuck up! _I demanded, but his voice became louder in my head as he ignored me.

_And the best part? The guy she is _still_ choosing over your pathetic ass is a motherfucking bloodsucker. _

_FUCK YOU!_ I roared, the thought translating into a growl that ripped from my throat. I pulled back on my haunches slightly and then sprung at him, taking him down when my teeth tore into his front leg, leaving a long, deep wound. He howled and snapped back at me, missing me only because we rolled into a small oak tree, effectively snapping the trunk when the force of our enormous bodies hit it.

We continued to tumble through the forest, snarling and blindly snapping through our rage, only narrowly avoiding each other's teeth each time we went bounding into another tree. Suddenly, we felt Sam's presence in our heads, and in that moment we not only heard, but felt, the Alpha's command.

_STEP AWAY FROM EACH OTHER_._ NOW!_

The black wolf stepped through the trees just as Paul and I reluctantly put distance between us, our growls reverberating low in our chests as we eyed each other.

_Are you two kidding me?_ Sam scolded, his head whipping back and forth between the place Paul stood and my position across from him. _Paul, what the hell were you thinking, lunging at Bella like that? No matter what kind of poor decision Jacob has made _–he spared me a dark look before he continued–_ there is absolutely _no_ excuse to attack Bella._

_Sam_, Paul began, _I just couldn't_–

_Don't you dare speak until I'm finished, _Sam growled, the double-timbre acting to further enhance the anger in his tone. _Jacob, _what _on _earth _made you think it was okay to bring Bella into our world, to let her in on our most guarded secrets? Can't you see how dangerous this can be for her?_

I tried to protest, but the Alpha's edict held my tongue.

_Both of you need to take a serious look at yourselves and the choices you've been making, _Sam continued. _Paul. Learn how to chill the fuck out. Violence solves nothing, man; you could have just mauled and killed an innocent girl._

I flinched, audibly whimpering at the picture Sam tried not to conjure up in his head.

_Jacob, you need to grow the fuck up, _Sam demanded harshly. _Think of Bella, the girl you care for so intensely that she invades your every thought _–_ and, in turn, our thoughts as well. You had no right to involve her in this part of your life. We agreed that you would end your relationship with her, and you betrayed that vow._

I clenched my teeth together, pawing at the ground sheepishly as Sam lapsed into silence.

Just then, I felt my tongue untie the same instant that Sam's thoughts indicated he was "finished." Paul and I began to shout at the same time, both attempting to defend ourselves while our feet remained rooted to their respective spots on the ground.

_I just don't understand the hold that this girl has on you, Jacob. She's not even your girlfriend and she has you_–

_You're such a fucking asshole, Paul. I can't believe you would actually spring at Bella_–

_Alright you two, _Sam interrupted, effectively cutting through Paul's and my voices, though not actually demanding that we stop. _I think we should phase and talk about this... we'll act more civilly in human form, and we can head back to Emily's._

_Really? _I snorted. _Because I think we should stay wolves so I can _literally _tear him to shreds._

_You wouldn't stand a goddamn chance, Jacob Black, _Paul snarled.

_Jesus Christ, _Sam sighed. _Phase back. Now._

I cursed the Alpha's order and the weight of the strings that pulled at my muscles as I was forced back on my haunches. Within the same second, I was standing, stark-ass naked, on my two human feet. I blinked twice, rapidly, in an attempt to refocus in my new form. I regretted this decision immediately as Paul shifted back to human, naked as the day he was born.

"Ugh," I groaned, shielding my eyes.

"You're not exactly a sight for sore eyes yourself, dickhead," Paul scoffed.

"Will you two give it a rest?" Sam sighed, pulling on the shorts he'd apparently stashed in the trees.

"Man, look what you did to my forearm," Paul complained, extending his arm to show Sam and I the gash that was fading rapidly.

"I barely touched you," I spat, rolling my eyes at his theatrics. The cut already looked as though it was days old.

"Let's get a move on," Sam suggested, ignoring our bickering as usual. "I told the guys to take Bella to Emily's." He grabbed each of us by the arm and gave us a rather unnecessary shove in the right direction.

I fell silent at the mention of Bella, my thoughts tied up in the horror that I knew she must have felt after seeing what had just unfolded in front of her.

..._What had unfolded _at_ her, I suppose, would more accurate._ I suppressed a shudder at the thought of what could have been.

"I just don't get it," Paul mumbled once we began walking. Sam fell into stride between us, probably not just because he happened to be right there to begin with. "What's with you and this girl, man? She doesn't even want you–"

I clenched my hands into fists just as Sam swatted Paul's arm. "You don't have to be cruel, Paul."

"Iloveher," I blurted out in one quick breath. Paul abruptly stopped walking, causing both Sam and I to do the same. I inhaled deeply before repeating myself more clearly. "I love her."

The puzzled look on Paul's face probably would have made me laugh if I hadn't just tried to kill him moments earlier.

"You... what? You _love_ the vampire girl?" he asked, his face still screwed up in an expression of utter confusion.

"Yes," I said simply. "I love the vampire girl."

"Paul..." Sam began, then stopped to take a breath himself. "Dude, did you seriously not realize this? I mean, you're in his head just as much as the rest of us."

"And, as always, I can't express enough just how much I enjoy that," I mumbled in annoyance.

"Nobody likes it; don't act like you're the only one," Sam retorted. He turned back to Paul, who still looked entirely baffled.

"Well, I _guess_ it makes sense..." he conceded after a few beats of silence. "I obviously knew how you felt, I just... never really put a label on it or anything."

I barked a bitter laugh. "That's probably because the only things you love are Doritos and picking fights with anyone who dares to look at you."

Paul's mouth set in a hard line for a few seconds, during which I stood my ground, half-hoping he would lunge at me again. With Sam between us, though, I knew he wouldn't...

Still, you can imagine my surprise when Paul actually burst out laughing.

"Dude, it's not my fault there's no chicks in La Push that are worthy of _all this,_" he chuckled, gesturing to his unclothed torso.

"Jesus, we have _got_ to get you some clothes," I laughed, shielding my eyes again.

"Yeah, because you're God's Gift yourself, right?" Paul snorted.

"Seriously, guys," Sam said, "nobody would appreciate you two being clothed more than me right now. Let's get a move on."

The three of us started off through the trees again, all clearly happy that the tension had broken between Paul and me.

"Man, you need to imprint," I told Paul. "Maybe then you'd be more chill. You need a woman to crack the whip and put an end to your shenanigans."

"Please," he scoffed. "There isn't a girl in the world who could tame me – especially one from around here."

Sam chuckled, and I just shook my head, staring at my feet as we continued through the forest.

"Not like there _are_ any girls around here, anyway," Paul continued. He snickered. "Hey, speaking of which, when are your sisters coming home, Jake?"

"Oh, _HELL_ NO!" I shouted, glaring at Paul. Sam laughed and put a preventative hand on my chest.

Paul, however, was laughing his ass off.

"Dude, last time I saw Rachel, she was hot as hell," he said. "And that was, what? Four years ago? I'll bet she looks even better now."

I narrowed my eyes at him, a human translation of a growl rumbling in my chest.

"Rachel and Rebecca are twins," Sam pointed out. "If one looks good, the other generally will, too."

"Sam!" I exclaimed. "Whose side are you on, man?"

"I'm just saying," Sam said with a laugh.

"Rebecca's married," Paul said. "I'm not that big of a scumbag, man. Plus Hawaii's considerably farther away than Seattle – Rachel has to come home at some point."

"Ugh." I made a face. "What the fuck makes you think Rachel would go for you, anyway? First of all, she has much better taste than that. Second of all, I'd probably consider suicide on a pretty consistent basis if I knew I had to be stuck with you as a potential brother-in-law. And third... well, I think I mentioned the fact that she has better taste than that, but I feel like I should reiterate that point."

Paul snickered again. "Whatever, asshole."

We walked silently through the woods, keeping an even pace with each other. I was never one for tranquility, so of course I broke the silence after just a few short minutes.

"Hey, I wasn't lying earlier when I said Bella could help us. She really does want to... and not just because she's my best friend. She's got a pretty freaking solid reason, too."

I recounted the conversation Bella and I'd had on the beach earlier, making absolutely sure that I didn't leave anything out. I explained that this Victoria was really after Bella, and that she'd been heading for Forks the entire time. I told them about the bloodsucker's thirst for revenge, that she thought a mate-for-mate deal was better than just killing Edward himself.

By the time I finished, my hands were shaking so violently that I laced my fingers together in an attempt to still them.

"Christ," Sam breathed. Paul's jaw was set tight, and he was shaking his head slowly back and forth, as though he couldn't believe what he'd just heard.

"I know," I growled disgustedly, releasing my clasped hands and flexing them repeatedly. "So, you got a plan, Boss?"

Sam nodded seriously, turning to look at me. "Actually, before we talk about Bella, could we maybe address that specific, er... title?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him, swinging my arms at my sides as we continued through the brush. "What are you talking about?"

He expelled a heavy sigh before speaking. "Jacob... you are the rightful Alpha of this pack."

I rolled my eyes. "Not this crap again..."

I had sensed this topic in his thoughts for weeks now, ever since he'd mentioned it the last time. He had been trying to figure out a way to approach the subject without causing me to vehemently deny what he considered to be my "destiny."

_Doesn't he know yet how damn stubborn I am? Jesus..._

Sam sighed again. "Jake, this is about our lineage. Your grandfather, Ephraim Black, was the last Alpha of the Quileute wolfpack. He was the last chief of our tribe."

"Why does it matter who my grandfather was, anyway?" I muttered. "I don't want that kind of responsibility. I don't even want to be a part of this _life_, Sam, let alone the leader of our pack."

"But you're the true–"

"Look," I said sternly, interrupting him. "I don't care about bloodlines. I don't care about what heredity says I should or shouldn't be. You should be the Alpha, Sam. You were the first in our generation to phase; you're the oldest. And you're actually good at this leader business. Can you imagine the guys listening to a damn thing I said?"

"Not freaking likely," Paul coughed.

I chuckled, not offended in the least. "See? You should remain Alpha, Sam."

Sam groaned. "You're sure? I don't want to take this away from you."

"Dude, it's like you're doing me a favor," I assured him, waving my hand nonchalantly.

"Alright," he surrendered. "But you will still be the Second. Nothing you say can change that, at least."

"Fantastic," I sighed.

"Okay, now that we've gotten past that," Sam continued, clearly relieved to have that off his chest, "let's talk about the next steps to take in the hunt for this bloodsucker."

Sam, Paul and I bounced ideas back and forth as we walked, focusing on the best ways to avoid leaving accidental holes in our trails that would enable the leech to slip through. We decided that we'd leave deliberate holes instead in order to test her, to see if she would take the metaphorical bait that our "weakness" would provide, thereby leading her right into our trap. We discussed pattern changes and even the idea of splitting up into two groups – that way, we could cover more ground but remain consistently secure in our defenses.

"I like that idea," I approved with a quick nod.

"Yeah, I think that would be a good way to go at it," Paul agreed.

"We'll also up our patrols, go out on runs more often, things like that," Sam concluded.

"One more thing," I said. "I'd really like Bella to stay in La Push while we get this all figured out."

"Yeah, I'm sure that was a real difficult decision to come by," Paul snorted.

I rolled my eyes, pointedly ignoring him. "It's safer for her here, where we can keep an eye on her. I mean, the bloodsucker's looking for _her,_ specifically. Why wouldn't we want to keep her close?"

"That's true," Sam allowed.

I kept going. "I think we should get Charlie down here, too. I mean, this psycho is stalking Bella – I don't think she'd hesitate to harm Bella's father if she stood the chance. He likes to watch basketball with Billy, so it shouldn't be too hard to convince him to stick around the res while we get this mess cleaned up."

"I agree," Sam said. "We'll need to discuss this with Bella, though... see what she thinks. We can't make her decisions for her."

"I know," I muttered, internally at war with myself over the two sides of Bella that I saw earlier at the beach – my strong, independent, stubborn girl, and the Bella who was scared out of her wits every second of the day. Would she decide that she could handle this on her own, or would she give in and let us protect her?

At this point, even with knowing Bella the way I did, I honestly had no idea which way she'd go.

"Not to bring this up again, but I honestly don't understand her affinity for vampires," Paul said. I shot him a look, and he raised his hands in defense. "Seriously, man, I'm not trying to be a dick."

"It just comes so naturally to you, though," I replied.

"Let's not start this again," Sam pleaded, sounding thoroughly exhausted.

"No, no, I don't want to start a fight again," Paul promised.

I gaped at him in exaggerated shock. "Whoa, write that shit down!"

"Fuck you, I'm serious," he said. His face twisted into a mask of disgust. "I mean, vampires are... _dead_. That's gross. Did she kiss him and stuff?"

"I don't fucking know," I moaned. "I don't _want_ to know."

_Who are you kidding? _my morbidly-curious subconsciousmocked_. Of _course_ you want to know._

"That's kind of like necrophilia," Paul joked, though he still had the disgusted look plastered on his face.

"Gross," Sam laughed.

"Can we not talk about this?" I begged. Of course, no one listened.

"Well, if she sleeps with Jake," Paul started, already cracking up at his own joke, "isn't that kind of like bestiality?"

Sam had actually stopped walking, and was now bent over with the force of his laughter. "You sick son of a bitch," he said, literally struggling to breathe.

"Oh, fuck you both," I snapped, throwing my hands in the air and stomping ahead of them. "We're almost to Emily's; don't make me kick both of your asses in her backyard and embarrass you in front of everyone."

"You couldn't if you tried," Sam teased, clapping me on the shoulder as he caught up to me. Paul jogged up on Sam's left side again, and we broke through the trees into the clearing behind Emily's small house.

I shoved Sam into Paul, and they both only laughed harder. "I could take you both out, you fucking assholes."

"Hey, hey, watch your language," Sam scolded, wiping the tears from his eyes on the back of his hand. "We're approaching the womenfolk. Have some respect, or I'll have Emily wash your mouths out with soap."

We continued to laugh and shove each other like seven-year-olds until we reached the small shack that was set about 100 yards back from Emily's house. Paul opened the little door and reached in, grabbing a handful of black cloth and tossing it my way. He fisted another bunch of cloth in his other hand and closed the door.

"Good thing we thought to stash some spare sweats in here," I said, pulling the cut-offs on and adjusting them on my hips. "Too bad we don't have any extra shoes in there, though... Billy said he wouldn't buy me another pair if I destroyed the last ones."

"You shouldn't lose your temper so easily," Paul chuckled, pulling on his own pair of sweats. "You wouldn't shred your shoes if you just stayed on two feet."

"Very funny," I grumbled, knocking into his shoulder with my own. Sam had already walked around the house and was through the front door by the time Paul and I rounded the side of the house. We watched him make a beeline through the kitchen and over to Emily just as Paul and I stepped inside.

After giving Paul one last half-hearted shove into the doorway, my eyes immediately searched for Bella among the small expanse of space within the kitchen. She was leaning against the counter across the room, looking as though she felt a bit out of place. I plucked two muffins out of the bowl on the table as I passed it, popping one in my mouth and swallowing it before I even reached Bella. Emily's muffins were the _best_.

"Hey, Bells." I grinned as I approached her, settling at her side. I leaned my muffin-free hand on the countertop behind her, happily taking in the air of contentment that always filled Emily's house. Even when my brothers and I were bickering with each other, as was the case often, Emily's place always felt safe and comfortable, like a second home to us.

I took a quick glance around the kitchen. Paul had settled into a chair near me at the kitchen table, opposite Embry and Jared. He began stuffing his big mouth with muffins, while Emily and Sam talked quietly at the stove, their heads tilted close together. It looked like Emily was still making food – sometimes I wondered if she ever actually _stopped_ – and that had my stomach growling in an instant.

I turned back to Bella. "Sorry about before," I said sheepishly, flashing her a lopsided grin. Honestly, I felt a bit embarrassed that she'd seen me act like that in my hairier state, all snarling and ferocious while knocking the shit out of Paul's bitch ass. "How are you holding up?"

"Don't worry, I'm okay," she assured me. "Good muffins."

I nodded, about to tell her that I wholeheartedly agreed, but Jared interrupted us with a lamenting groan.

"Oh, maaan!"

Bella and I both glanced over to see Embry and Jared squinting at Paul's left forearm, their heads close together and their noses merely inches away from a light pink, linear blemish that ran across his skin – a habitual formality, since one of the few perks of being a werewolf was impeccable eyesight, even in human form.

Embry straightened up and grinned from ear to ear, clearly delighted with himself about whatever Jared was now brooding over. "Fifteen dollars!" he announced, extending his hand towards Jared.

I snorted, realizing quickly that Embry had bet Jared that I'd win the fight. I knew the kid was my best friend for a reason.

Bella leaned closer to me, her voice barely above a whisper. "Did you do that?"

I shrugged. "I barely touched him. He'll be perfect by sundown."

She looked up at me incredulously, before turning her eyes back to my handiwork on Paul's arm. "By sundown?"

"Wolf thing," I explained. She nodded, her eyes still slightly wider than normal.

"You okay?" She tore her eyes from Paul to appraise me, her gaze lingering on the exposed skin on my torso.

I grinned smugly, extending my arms toward her so that she could inspect them. "Not a scratch on me."

"Hey, guys," Sam called, effectively ending the bits of conversation that were floating around the room. "Jacob has information for us."

I cleared my throat and looked at Jared and Embry. "I know what the redhead wants. That's what I was trying to tell you before." I snapped my leg out to lightly kick Paul's chair. He paid me no attention.

"And?" Jared prompted.

"She _is_ trying to avenge her mate – only it wasn't the black-haired leech we killed. The Cullens got her mate last year... and she's after Bella now." I swallowed the lump that had risen in my throat. I paused for a minute to regain the composure that had begun to slip at the thought of the female bloodsucker getting what she wanted – my Bella. Visions of the black-haired vampire we'd killed flashed through my head and mixed with the fiery hair and shifty eyes that the female possessed.

This Laurent had come far too close to getting what he wanted, and there was no way in _hell_ that I'd let the redheaded leech succeed, either.

Emily turned from the stove to face Bella and me, her mouth hanging open in surprise. Embry and Jared were also gaping slightly, and Embry's eyes flickered to Bella and then back to me in an instant.

"She's just a girl," he protested.

"I didn't say it made sense," I countered. "But that's why the bloodsucker's been trying to get past us. She's been heading for Forks."

Bella shrunk back into me slightly under the still-shocked gazes of Emily and my brothers. I wished they would stop staring at her – she had to be uncomfortable already anyway, what with a crazy bloodsucker after her and all.

Jared seemed to snap out of it first, but when he opened his mouth again to speak, I found myself wishing he'd kept it shut.

"Excellent," he muttered, perking up a bit. "We have bait."

That last word had barely tumbled out of his stupid mouth before I grabbed the nearest object on the counter – a can opener – and hurled it at his head. He caught it almost lazily, about two inches from his face.

My jaw was tight, my eyes narrowed at him as I growled, "Bella is _not_ bait."

He rolled his eyes at me. "You know what I mean."

I leaned back against the countertop again, instinctively settling closer to Bella. I shot Jared one last dirty look – one that clearly said, "if you mention anything like that again, I will happily rip your head off" – and then refocused my attention on Sam.

Sam continued as if Emily's kitchenware hadn't just been used as a weapon. "So we'll be changing our patterns. We'll try leaving a few holes, and see if she falls for it. We'll have to split up, and I don't like that... but if she's really after Bella, she probably won't try to take advantage of our divided numbers."

"Quil's got to be close to joining us," Embry pointed out softly. "Then we'll be able to split evenly."

We were all silent for a few moments, contemplating this somberly. None of us wanted Quil to be sucked into a life like ours – filled with responsibilities far beyond what a sixteen-year-old boy should have on his plate.

Of course, no normal sixteen-year-old would have a sadistic vampire sitting pretty on said plate to begin with, but that was neither here nor there.

"Well, we won't count on that," Sam mumbled, then went on to reiterate the plans we'd discussed on the way to Emily's. "Paul, Jared, and Embry will take the outer perimeter, and Jacob and I will take the inner. We'll collapse in when we've got her trapped."

Bella looked up at me through her long lashes, her eyes filled with concern. It was obvious that she didn't like the fact that Sam and I would be the ones included in the smaller group. I placed my hand on the small of her back and smiled lightly, confidently, to try and comfort her. She trembled a bit at my warm touch, but relaxed back into me quickly, accepting my reassuring gesture.

Sam addressed Bella then, explaining what I had discussed with him on the walk over – that she should spend all her free time here in La Push, where she could be easily protected. Bella expressed her worry for Charlie, but I squashed that quickly, reminding her that it was March Madness, which meant endless basketball games for Billy and Charlie to watch. Since my father was disabled, Charlie usually settled on watching the games at our house, which worked out perfectly for our current situation.

Once we had made those simple arrangements, Sam had to go and make things uncomfortable again.

"That's what Jacob thinks is best," he said, referring to our plans for her in La Push, "but you need to decide for yourself."

His gaze lingered delicately on Emily. Then his eyes skipped more grimly over to Paul, who was studying the muffin he held in his palm very intently, and then back to me.

"You should weigh the risks of both options very seriously," Sam continued. "You saw this morning how easily things can get... _dangerous_ here, how quickly they get out of hand. If you choose to stay with us, I can't make any guarantees about your safety."

My fingers splayed more firmly across the small of Bella's back, shaking slightly at the mere thought of...

"I won't hurt her," I vowed, my voice low yet certain.

Sam went on, ignoring the fact that I'd just said anything at all. "If there was somewhere else you felt safe…"

Bella had everyone's attention again – Paul even took a break from shoveling muffins into his mouth to refocus his attention along with the rest of us. I looked down at Bella, who was chewing on her lip anxiously as she internally weighed her options. I made myself a promise not to feel hurt or throw a shit-fit if she decided to go stay in Florida with her mother, even though I knew that La Push was the safest place for her. This was not just because I wanted her near me, but because you really couldn't make any better precautionary arrangements than having a pack of werewolves around for protection, especially if the predator was a crazy-ass vampire.

Hell, this game of hide-and-seek the leech had begun with us was going to be fun.

"I don't want to lead Victoria anywhere else," Bella finally said. She'd made a good point, and we all nodded our agreement.

"That's true," Sam allowed. "It's better to have her here, where we can end this."

At his words, Bella tensed, recoiling slightly into my body again. She looked up at me, panicked concern swimming in her beautiful brown eyes. I tightened my hand on her waist and smiled lightly, trying again to wordlessly reassure her.

"You'll be careful, right?" Her voice broke on the last word of her sentence, her eyes tightening with her need for affirmation.

The tension of our conversation ruptured almost tangibly as we all broke into fits of laughter. I hugged her body to my own as I chuckled and shook my head, watching as Paul, Jared, and Sam laughed loudly, and Embry nearly fell off his chair.

Honestly, I just couldn't imagine worrying about something as trivial as the pack's well-being while I was entertaining visions of this deadly chase-and-catch game in my head. My earlier thought had snowballed, and now I was really looking forward to this fight. Ripping the last leech limb-from-limb had been fucking fantastic; the sense of elation I felt – that we _all_ felt – after every audible shred of his diamond-hard body was like a high. Besides, this is what we were made for; this is why we existed. We were the protectors, the "hall monitors," as Embry had called us in our more innocent past lives. We would protect Bella – _I_ would protect Bella – no matter what.

"Food's ready," Emily declared, clearing her throat. Our laughter dissipated as we crowded around the table, diving head-first into the enormous bowl of eggs and, of course, muffins.

I brought Bella back to my house around two o'clock because I had to run patrols for a bit. The plan for the pack that day was for each of us to run both with the pack as a whole and within the two groups that Sam had decided on earlier that morning. When we ran together, we mostly strategized, and when we split into two, we tried some new formations and running patterns that would cover the most ground, while still being thorough enough so that Victoria wouldn't be able to slip through our defenses.

This bitch stood no chance.

I arrived back at home after an hour or so, and I found Bella fast asleep on the couch. I knelt down next to her and brushed the hair from her cheek, studying the lines of her face and the little pinch between her eyebrows that always meant she was stressed about something. I sighed, wishing there was some way to quash her worries and make her see that there was absolutely nothing to be afraid of. I shook her as gently as I could manage, but she still nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Easy, Bells. I didn't mean to startle you."

She took a deep, shaky breath. "Sorry, Jake. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep."

"No worries," I shrugged. "I stopped by the Clearwaters' on the way back here, though, and Billy told me that he's invited Charlie over for dinner. Said something about leaving him a message at both your house and the station, so I'm sure he'll get them and head down after work."

"Sounds great." She smiled faintly, her eyes still slightly wider than normal. I sighed again, settling into the couch next to her and pulling her against my side.

We remained that way, watching television and just relaxing for once, until my father arrived home around four. Bella and I chatted with him as we helped him straighten up the house a bit before Charlie arrived at five, carrying two large boxes from Pacific Pizza.

Charlie kept glancing at me as I wolfed down an entire large pizza in what had to be record time.

"Well, that has to be a record," Billy said with a chuckle, reading my mind like he was becoming so very good at doing. "Congratulations, son."

"A little hungry, Jake?" Charlie finally asked, his eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hairline at the same time the last piece disappeared into my mouth.

"A little bit, yeah," I allowed with a grin.

Charlie nodded seriously, his gaze now ping-ponging between me and Bella, who was sitting close to me on the couch.

His eyes finally settled back on me. "You cut your hair," he said, and it wasn't a question.

"Yup."

"How come?"

_Because I spend half my time running around on four legs, and long fur dragging in the dirt is really freaking annoying._

"It's more convenient," I admitted, which was really the truth.

I walked Bella out to her truck when she and Charlie decided it was time to go home. As I closed the door after she climbed in, I leaned on the window, hoping Charlie would drive away first and I could talk to her, ease her fears, without him lingering nearby.

"Don't be afraid tonight," I pleaded seriously. "We'll be out there, watching."

"I won't worry about myself," she mumbled, her forehead doing that little pinch thing again.

"You're silly," I grinned. "Hunting vampires is fun. It's the best part of this whole mess."

She sighed exasperatedly. "If I'm silly, then you're dangerously unbalanced."

I laughed. That was neither here nor there. "Get some rest, Bella, honey. You look exhausted."

"I'll try," she promised.

Charlie honked his horn, apparently tired of waiting for our conversation to end.

"See you tomorrow," I said. "Come down first thing."

"I will."

As soon as their headlights disappeared down the road, I sprinted toward the treeline, allowing my father a quick wave as he peered through the window. With a rush of heat, I was northbound on four legs, ready to catch up with my brothers. I sensed Sam and Embry immediately.

_Hey-o, anything new?_

_Nope, nothing yet_, Sam answered.

_Jared and Paul phased back to grab some quick food,_ Embry supplied, answering the question just as it formed in my head. I acknowledged it with a nod.

_Alright, boys_, I huffed, nearing the spot where they had stopped to wait for me. _Let the games begin._

_

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_**A/N:** So... I suck, right?_

_Truth is, real life gets in the way of the things you'd rather be doing sometimes, which, in my case, means fanfic. But I promise, I will never give up on this story, no matter what _–_ so thank you for the PMs and reviews wondering where the heck I've been all this time. It means a lot to me! :)_

_Aside from apologizing, the other thing I wanted to tell y'all about is that I'm going to be writing a series of __**JCMS outtakes**__ that focuses on the things the canon timeline doesn't allow me to elaborate much on _–_ like Jake adjusting to becoming a wolf (phasing spontaneously after becoming only mildly upset, etc), Emily's relationship with all of them, more memories and discussions regarding imprinting... stuff like that. These outtakes will be considerably shorter than my chapters, meant just to give you some extra fun with the boys. :)_

_I'll start writing these soon, and in the meantime, if anyone has any suggestions of things they'd like to see, feel free to PM me or leave it in a review!_


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